The Talk
Title: The Talk
Rating: NC-17
Characters: Jack, Ianto, Branwen, Franklin.
Warnings: Smut to start, then comedy.
Disclaimers: I should own Torchwood and its characters. I'd do a damn sight better job of caring for them than those pillocks.
Notes: Clearing out some more old WIPs. This is a tag for the story Syntropy from my Something that Starts with 'S' series.
+3
"Duw! Do that again!" Ianto groaned as he arched up off the mattress. Jack grinned and swiftly pressed his erection all the way into Ianto's body, putting all of his weight on Ianto's bent legs and levering himself with only his toes. Ianto could feel the pressure in the back of his mouth, the sensation was so great. "More. Jack, more!" Jack wiped sweat from his forehead before quickening his pace making sure to fully seal their bodies against each other with every thrust.
"Not going to last much longer," Jack shivered as he felt Ianto's body tensed and his orgasm shuddered through him and into Ianto's warm welcoming body. "Damn." Jack slumped forward onto Ianto and felt the vagus pulse and spattering of warm fluid coat his chest and suddenly burned his eye. "Fuck Ianto, watch where you point that thing!" Jack ran the back of his hand over his eye to remove the errant beads of cum that were there as Ianto quietly chuckled to himself. The vibration traveled through Ianto's body and into Jack's through his trapped cock, which made Jack moan and forced a final hard thrust deep into Ianto.
They relaxed into each other, Jack between Ianto's spread legs while still buried deep within him. The remains of Ianto's orgasm glued their heated bodies together into a single form, breathing in each others exhalation. The shared numbness of their exertions allowed for a few brief respite from the world, but was interrupted by a small upset voice calling from the other room.
"Tad! Cap'n Daddy!" Jack's head fell onto Ianto's chest as he groaned.
"Coming baban, we're coming." Ianto pushed Jack over and reached for their boxers and threw a pair at Jack, "Come on Captain." Ianto was already at the door, his hair standing up in strange directions as Jack grumbled and followed along to their daughter's room. She was sitting up in bed, pressed against the headboard, clutching her favorite toy and glaring at her closet. Ianto turned the small bedside lamp on and looked at her, "We're here now baban, what's the matter?" Branwen looked at her parents sharply and pointed to her closet door.
"There's a weebil in the closet." She pulled the blankets up tighter. Ianto raised an eyebrow at Jack who sheepishly went over and opened the closet door which caused Branwen to shout, "No Daddy! You don't habe any weebil spray!" Her eyes were like saucers as she shouted at him.
Ianto pulled her close to calm the child, "Shush now baban, there's no weevil in the closet, see? Captain Dad just gave it the all clear." Ianto glared at Jack, "Weevils aren't in the closet little one, there in the cells in the Hub where they can't hurt you." She was sniffing away tears then pushed away from Ianto who looked at her with concern, "Bran, what's wrong?"
The little girl looked at him carefully, "You smell funny." Ianto blushed and silently cursed to himself- he'd forgotten to wipe himself off.
Jack walked over, "Yeah, Daddy sort of sneezed all over Tad, and we ran over here and forgot to clean up." Jack gave her his biggest grin which earned a raised eyebrow from the child that caused his grin to falter. "Sorry sweetheart, Daddy will be more careful next time." They settled her back into bed and left the closet light on for her as they made ready to go back to their own bed.
"Daddy?" Branwen was looking at him with calculating eyes.
Jack turned as Ianto remained in the hall, "Yeah sweetheart?"
Jack could almost see her brain trying to process the question before she finally said, "You and Tad weren't up to bunny business were you?" Jack gulped and Ianto could be heard nearly choking in the hallway.
"What? Where did you hear that?" Jack stumbled over his words.
The little girl gave him a calculated look, "Bopa Gwen and ewythr Rhys said you and Tad were up to bunny business when I spent the night with them. Daddy? Why do you and Tad need to do bunny business? Do you like carrots? I don't like carrots."
Ianto pushed past Jack who was nearly swallowing his tongue, "No baban, no bunny business here. You go to sleep okay?" Ianto quickly pushed Jack out of the room and pulled the door mostly shut behind them as he dragged Jack back into their room and then into the bathroom. Ianto soaked a flannel and cleaned himself and Jack up. "Jack? What are we going to tell her when she's older? I mean, you know; the talk?" Ianto was turning quite the shade of pink.
Jack was confused, "The talk? What talk?" Jack had no idea what Ianto was on about, but he thought bunny business sounded perfectly good at the moment and began nipping at Ianto's collar bone.
Ianto slapped him away with an exasperated sigh. "The talk Jack, you know- sex? Things are a bit different around here if you haven't noticed!" Jack smirked and tried to take Ianto's mouth in a kiss and was pushed away, "And none of that. You went and got way too hot and bothered and now you reek of garlic. I'm not making that mistake again!" Ianto shoved a toothbrush into Jack's hands, "And I'm serious- how do we explain those damn pheromones!" Ianto left the bathroom and climbed in bed.
Jack brushed his teeth as ordered and climbed into bed behind Ianto; pulling close, "Don't worry about it. We've got time to come up with something right?"
+13
Ianto was making dinner when he noticed it, cinnamon and a bit of toasted nutmeg. He checked the oven, making sure he hadn't dumped the wrong spices in the ziti by accident when another wave of the scent hit his nostrils and he heard a loud thump at the table. Ianto spun to see his thirteen year old daughter glaring back at him with a surely teenage expression except something was different. "Fuck," Ianto quickly turned the hob off and reached for his phone while looking at the girl- noticing the pale flush of her skin and her lightly swollen lips. "Pick up, pick up, pick up," Ianto chanted as he listened to the ringing phone, "Jack? Grab Martha and get home right now. We need to have a talk with our daughter." He slammed the phone shut and tried to calm himself and asked Branwen in a false bright way. "So, have something to tell me about your day?"
"You're kidding." She looked at them like they were insane, "You know this sounds mental, don't you?" Branwen got up from the chair where she'd sat through the clinical descriptions from her aunt Martha, then the genetic information from her more than slightly insane Dad and finally the ramifications from her usually sane Tad. "We just kissed okay? It's not like I let him get in my knickers or anything! Why are you all being so melodramatic!" She dropped into the chair with a theatrical sigh, "I thought you'd be happy that anyone would even kiss me, I mean I still get weird looks because I have two dads and don't know anything about my mother." She noticed three nearly identical twitches, "What?"
Ianto looked at Jack who was scratching the back of his neck, "Yeah, about that."
+30
Jack pounded on the hall bathroom door for the third time, "Frankie, come on already. We're going to be late for your rugby match." Ianto was already in the car waiting for Jack and their son who refused to come out of the bathroom. Jack was getting frustrated, even through he didn't like rugby; it was a sport that Frankie and Ianto shared and both played lock. "That's it, I'm taking the door off the hinges, whatever it is, I've seen it and probably have it too." Jack was prying the hinge pins out when the door flew open and a foaming at the mouth young man who was the spitting image of Ianto stared back through red rimmed eyes. "Frankie babe? What's wrong?" The boy shook his head and spit out the rest of the toothpaste and Jack saw the empty tubes of paste littering the bathroom along with several empty bottles of mouthwash. Jack looked on for a moment before it dawned on him. "Fuck."
"You're kidding." Franklin said calmly as he ate another breath mint, "That's just wrong on so many levels." He looked at his fathers where they sat calmly on the sofa, "Can't we go to the dentist, I mean this must be a bad tooth to cause the taste."
"Like garlic?" Ianto answered quietly causing Franklin to stop.
"I didn't say what it tasted like." He looked at his father and fell back into the chair, "You're not kidding, are you." He looked between them and saw no sign of mirth. "But if this is true, why haven't the pheromones shown up first? You said that's part of it too."
Ianto placed a hand on Jack's thigh, "My guess? They already have and we didn't notice because you probably smell just like your Dad here." Jack grasped Ianto's hand, "We noticed Bran because she's a girl and smells different. But the question is, who has you excited enough for this to happen?" Ianto looked at his son and noticed the faint blush in his face, "It's okay Frankie, there's nothing you can say that will shock or upset us."
The boy looked down at his hands and mumbled something as his face became even more heated and both Ianto and Jack suddenly caught an overwhelming blast of the boy's pheromones.
Jack looked at him, "Well that pretty much clinches that." Jack knelt in front of the embarrassed boy, "Would you like to know my first time? It was the captain of our sandball team- we were in the middle of a game and when he caught the ball, he landed on top of me and we fell to the ground." Jack smiled at Ianto, "Knocked my breath out and he laughed and then I exhaled and he coughed from the garlic." Jack laughed at the memory, "Middle of a game, everyone knew my mind was firmly ensconced in my shorts." Jack noticed the hitch in their son's breathing, "That's what I thought."
Ianto looked at Frankie's wide eyes then back at Jack and quickly stood up and headed for the door. "Well, I'll just let you handle this discussion, Jack."
Franklin turned his attention back to Jack, who sank back into his chair, "Hell."
Rating: NC-17
Characters: Jack, Ianto, Branwen, Franklin.
Warnings: Smut to start, then comedy.
Disclaimers: I should own Torchwood and its characters. I'd do a damn sight better job of caring for them than those pillocks.
Notes: Clearing out some more old WIPs. This is a tag for the story Syntropy from my Something that Starts with 'S' series.
+3
"Duw! Do that again!" Ianto groaned as he arched up off the mattress. Jack grinned and swiftly pressed his erection all the way into Ianto's body, putting all of his weight on Ianto's bent legs and levering himself with only his toes. Ianto could feel the pressure in the back of his mouth, the sensation was so great. "More. Jack, more!" Jack wiped sweat from his forehead before quickening his pace making sure to fully seal their bodies against each other with every thrust.
"Not going to last much longer," Jack shivered as he felt Ianto's body tensed and his orgasm shuddered through him and into Ianto's warm welcoming body. "Damn." Jack slumped forward onto Ianto and felt the vagus pulse and spattering of warm fluid coat his chest and suddenly burned his eye. "Fuck Ianto, watch where you point that thing!" Jack ran the back of his hand over his eye to remove the errant beads of cum that were there as Ianto quietly chuckled to himself. The vibration traveled through Ianto's body and into Jack's through his trapped cock, which made Jack moan and forced a final hard thrust deep into Ianto.
They relaxed into each other, Jack between Ianto's spread legs while still buried deep within him. The remains of Ianto's orgasm glued their heated bodies together into a single form, breathing in each others exhalation. The shared numbness of their exertions allowed for a few brief respite from the world, but was interrupted by a small upset voice calling from the other room.
"Tad! Cap'n Daddy!" Jack's head fell onto Ianto's chest as he groaned.
"Coming baban, we're coming." Ianto pushed Jack over and reached for their boxers and threw a pair at Jack, "Come on Captain." Ianto was already at the door, his hair standing up in strange directions as Jack grumbled and followed along to their daughter's room. She was sitting up in bed, pressed against the headboard, clutching her favorite toy and glaring at her closet. Ianto turned the small bedside lamp on and looked at her, "We're here now baban, what's the matter?" Branwen looked at her parents sharply and pointed to her closet door.
"There's a weebil in the closet." She pulled the blankets up tighter. Ianto raised an eyebrow at Jack who sheepishly went over and opened the closet door which caused Branwen to shout, "No Daddy! You don't habe any weebil spray!" Her eyes were like saucers as she shouted at him.
Ianto pulled her close to calm the child, "Shush now baban, there's no weevil in the closet, see? Captain Dad just gave it the all clear." Ianto glared at Jack, "Weevils aren't in the closet little one, there in the cells in the Hub where they can't hurt you." She was sniffing away tears then pushed away from Ianto who looked at her with concern, "Bran, what's wrong?"
The little girl looked at him carefully, "You smell funny." Ianto blushed and silently cursed to himself- he'd forgotten to wipe himself off.
Jack walked over, "Yeah, Daddy sort of sneezed all over Tad, and we ran over here and forgot to clean up." Jack gave her his biggest grin which earned a raised eyebrow from the child that caused his grin to falter. "Sorry sweetheart, Daddy will be more careful next time." They settled her back into bed and left the closet light on for her as they made ready to go back to their own bed.
"Daddy?" Branwen was looking at him with calculating eyes.
Jack turned as Ianto remained in the hall, "Yeah sweetheart?"
Jack could almost see her brain trying to process the question before she finally said, "You and Tad weren't up to bunny business were you?" Jack gulped and Ianto could be heard nearly choking in the hallway.
"What? Where did you hear that?" Jack stumbled over his words.
The little girl gave him a calculated look, "Bopa Gwen and ewythr Rhys said you and Tad were up to bunny business when I spent the night with them. Daddy? Why do you and Tad need to do bunny business? Do you like carrots? I don't like carrots."
Ianto pushed past Jack who was nearly swallowing his tongue, "No baban, no bunny business here. You go to sleep okay?" Ianto quickly pushed Jack out of the room and pulled the door mostly shut behind them as he dragged Jack back into their room and then into the bathroom. Ianto soaked a flannel and cleaned himself and Jack up. "Jack? What are we going to tell her when she's older? I mean, you know; the talk?" Ianto was turning quite the shade of pink.
Jack was confused, "The talk? What talk?" Jack had no idea what Ianto was on about, but he thought bunny business sounded perfectly good at the moment and began nipping at Ianto's collar bone.
Ianto slapped him away with an exasperated sigh. "The talk Jack, you know- sex? Things are a bit different around here if you haven't noticed!" Jack smirked and tried to take Ianto's mouth in a kiss and was pushed away, "And none of that. You went and got way too hot and bothered and now you reek of garlic. I'm not making that mistake again!" Ianto shoved a toothbrush into Jack's hands, "And I'm serious- how do we explain those damn pheromones!" Ianto left the bathroom and climbed in bed.
Jack brushed his teeth as ordered and climbed into bed behind Ianto; pulling close, "Don't worry about it. We've got time to come up with something right?"
+13
Ianto was making dinner when he noticed it, cinnamon and a bit of toasted nutmeg. He checked the oven, making sure he hadn't dumped the wrong spices in the ziti by accident when another wave of the scent hit his nostrils and he heard a loud thump at the table. Ianto spun to see his thirteen year old daughter glaring back at him with a surely teenage expression except something was different. "Fuck," Ianto quickly turned the hob off and reached for his phone while looking at the girl- noticing the pale flush of her skin and her lightly swollen lips. "Pick up, pick up, pick up," Ianto chanted as he listened to the ringing phone, "Jack? Grab Martha and get home right now. We need to have a talk with our daughter." He slammed the phone shut and tried to calm himself and asked Branwen in a false bright way. "So, have something to tell me about your day?"
"You're kidding." She looked at them like they were insane, "You know this sounds mental, don't you?" Branwen got up from the chair where she'd sat through the clinical descriptions from her aunt Martha, then the genetic information from her more than slightly insane Dad and finally the ramifications from her usually sane Tad. "We just kissed okay? It's not like I let him get in my knickers or anything! Why are you all being so melodramatic!" She dropped into the chair with a theatrical sigh, "I thought you'd be happy that anyone would even kiss me, I mean I still get weird looks because I have two dads and don't know anything about my mother." She noticed three nearly identical twitches, "What?"
Ianto looked at Jack who was scratching the back of his neck, "Yeah, about that."
+30
Jack pounded on the hall bathroom door for the third time, "Frankie, come on already. We're going to be late for your rugby match." Ianto was already in the car waiting for Jack and their son who refused to come out of the bathroom. Jack was getting frustrated, even through he didn't like rugby; it was a sport that Frankie and Ianto shared and both played lock. "That's it, I'm taking the door off the hinges, whatever it is, I've seen it and probably have it too." Jack was prying the hinge pins out when the door flew open and a foaming at the mouth young man who was the spitting image of Ianto stared back through red rimmed eyes. "Frankie babe? What's wrong?" The boy shook his head and spit out the rest of the toothpaste and Jack saw the empty tubes of paste littering the bathroom along with several empty bottles of mouthwash. Jack looked on for a moment before it dawned on him. "Fuck."
"You're kidding." Franklin said calmly as he ate another breath mint, "That's just wrong on so many levels." He looked at his fathers where they sat calmly on the sofa, "Can't we go to the dentist, I mean this must be a bad tooth to cause the taste."
"Like garlic?" Ianto answered quietly causing Franklin to stop.
"I didn't say what it tasted like." He looked at his father and fell back into the chair, "You're not kidding, are you." He looked between them and saw no sign of mirth. "But if this is true, why haven't the pheromones shown up first? You said that's part of it too."
Ianto placed a hand on Jack's thigh, "My guess? They already have and we didn't notice because you probably smell just like your Dad here." Jack grasped Ianto's hand, "We noticed Bran because she's a girl and smells different. But the question is, who has you excited enough for this to happen?" Ianto looked at his son and noticed the faint blush in his face, "It's okay Frankie, there's nothing you can say that will shock or upset us."
The boy looked down at his hands and mumbled something as his face became even more heated and both Ianto and Jack suddenly caught an overwhelming blast of the boy's pheromones.
Jack looked at him, "Well that pretty much clinches that." Jack knelt in front of the embarrassed boy, "Would you like to know my first time? It was the captain of our sandball team- we were in the middle of a game and when he caught the ball, he landed on top of me and we fell to the ground." Jack smiled at Ianto, "Knocked my breath out and he laughed and then I exhaled and he coughed from the garlic." Jack laughed at the memory, "Middle of a game, everyone knew my mind was firmly ensconced in my shorts." Jack noticed the hitch in their son's breathing, "That's what I thought."
Ianto looked at Frankie's wide eyes then back at Jack and quickly stood up and headed for the door. "Well, I'll just let you handle this discussion, Jack."
Franklin turned his attention back to Jack, who sank back into his chair, "Hell."