(no subject)
oooooooookay
So get'n 2 hang out with Jlow was good times. WE did a lot of drive'n and correct em if i am wrong friend but i think that we've become 2x closer. The more we hang out the more i really see how much alike we really are.
Shopping was was and long car rides with good music rocked my socks. Going to camp was really weird but fun. Seeing Beffa was good but also hard. Dinner with chris was really good. I think that chris and i are going ina good direction. He is a really great kid and he just needs people to not always be doubting him. He has lots of passion about things and sometimes the passion gets the best of him.
Seeing ashley was really hard. I thought that i was over this shit they pulled and that i was ready to forgive. But i think this entire thing has hit me much deeper than i thought. I couldn't even look her in the eye the entire time, i still have so much anger in my heart. Their were so many bad things i wanted to say to her but i didn't because i know that i am better than that. I do love her 2 death and i care a lot about her but i still am not ready to be friends.
The bullshit with thea just takes on another chapter. Where are we now? no one knows. We talk still but things are still fucked up. College is coming and i want adult relationships with friends and people. I am not in the mood for games and stupid bullshit and baby attitudes. We are good for now but i don't really know where this is going. This is all so stupid
Like i said last night. In february i had things so good. then i lost everything. I had it fucking made before and not i have nothing. In someways it has been good for me. It had made me grow up and i'm glad all of this was done before college. Right now everything with the two of you is so weird and so bad it has forced me to take on a new sense of humor. I jsut laugh at all the really bad things and it seems to be working for me. If you look @ it in the right light this is all very funny.