what a depressing post

[hold_my_head]

there has been a change in me.

over the past year or so, i've gone from being a fun, well balanced individual who would bend over backward for his friends or a complete stranger to being a self-centered person who wouldn't help anyone but himself. and i am not typing this out for anyone to dispute me, and tell me otherwise, because i know for a fact that i have changed.

why did i change? i don't know. could it be that i am not as regular in attending church? is it because now i can go to sleep without spending time with God? i used to not be able to. now i give Him only a few minutes of my day, at best.

i think i hit the nail on the head.

i've gotten to a sad, sad state. i now only concern myself with my own selfish desires. and when i can't get them, i turn into an ugly, spoiled shell of who i used to be.

i see pictures of myself smiling. i was really happy.

i want that again. i'm so confused. i just want a few things here and there.

i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i.

there i go, self-centered.

God forgive me.