I'm just going to add to this entry through the day so I don't post 20 times.
Up before 6 this morning. Goddamnit, brain/body, I think I liked it better when we slept too late.
Well, I just decided to check the manga for something and started a chapter too early and found Madara saying "Does there exist an adult that would seriously fight a child?" WELL MADARA YOU FOUGHT IN THE PRE-VILLAGE WARS SO I GUESS YOU WOULD KNOW! And then my immediate follow-up thought was "oh shit that's probably WHY he feels that way" even if he's a fucking hypocrite about it really and now I'm never going to be okay again. I DON'T EVEN LIKE YOU, MADARA. I DON'T WANT TO HAVE THESE FEELINGS.
And now I'm on the right chapter and yep 590 is still emotionally devastating everything is terrible and it all hurts NO JESUS FUCKING CHRIST ITACHI DIDN'T EVEN CRY WHEN SHISUI JUMPED BUT HE CRIED SUPER HARD BEFORE HE HAD TO KILL HIS PARENTS I'M NOT OKAY I'M NOT OKAY NOTHING IS OKAY HE WAS FUCKING THIRTEEN AND DANZO IS THE WORST AND TOBITO IS THE WORST.
"You don't have to forgive me, I will love you forever" JUST FUCKING KILL ME WITH THIS HALF-HUG AND THESE WORDS JUST LEAVE ME TO DIE THERE IS NO WAY TO CONVEY HOW MUCH EVERYTHING ABOUT UCHIHA ITACHI UPSETS ME I COULD LITERALLY TALK FOR 200 POSTS AND THREE HOURS AND CRY ON MY KEYBOARD AND YET THE FULL DEPTH OF MY FEELINGS WILL NOT REACH ANYONE okay actually you probably all have the general idea down pretty well by now never mind
Brb, it turns out I have to write upsetting fic about the AU version of the night of the Uchiha massacre. I mean haha no why would anyone let alone the Third Hokage be upset by going to stop a coup and finding out everyone is already dead before you can even talk to them! And then you have to figure out what to do with the 13-year-old you allowed to join ANBU when he was 11 and told he had to figure out how to stop a coup all by himself and also what to tell his baby brother who had almost no idea what was going on!! THERE'S NOTHING AT ALL UPSETTING ABOUT THIS HAHAHA SOMEONE HELP ME.
SOMEWHAT LATER, WHILE WRITING UPSETTING FIC: Oh, hey, Naruto Gaiden 10 is up!
First of all HAHA I CALLED IT SUIGETSU FUCKED UP THE TEST LIKE A GOOBER, I love him but what a loser sharkperson he is.
Second: SARADA IS DEFINITELY BOTH BEST AND ONLY GOOD UCHIHA. SO CUTE, SO PRECIOUS, SO MUCH EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE AND WILLINGNESS TO NOT BE A JERK. Clearly she got all of that from Sakura and a tiny bit from Shisui somehow maybe. BUT SERIOUSLY. I LOVE HER AND I'M GOING TO OTP HER WITH CHOUCHOU IF NONE OF YOU MIND, THEIR FRIENDSHIP IS ADORABLE.
Third: WHAT. THAT'S WHAT KABUMARU HAS BEEN UP TO. YOU TRUSTED HIM WITH CHILDREN. Hahahahahhahdk;aldkh;sladlshk KONOHA IS FUCKED. No I'm kidding I saw Urushi standing there behind him so clearly everything is fine here and now I'm going to die I still don't fucking believe Kishimoto made me feel emotions besides hatred and horror about Kabuto. Although really they were less about Kabuto and more about Urushi who was adorable AND SURVIVED THE WAR, I WOULD LIKE TO REITERATE MY PREVIOUS TAKEBACK, I'M SO FUCKING GLAD THERE WEREN'T MORE DEATHS. He just wanted his adopted little brother to finally come home oh my God AND OH HEY REMEMBER HOW KABUTO NEVER GOING BACK WAS DANZO'S FAULT?
Fourth: REALLY THOUGH, SASUKE. AT LEAST KISS YOUR FUCKING WIFE YOU FAILBOAT. I hope Sakura is having aaaaaaall the threesomes with Ino and Sai. Or Hinata and Naruto. Or regular twosomes with Lee! ANYONE WHO CAN MAKE HER HAPPY, FOR FUCK'S SAKE.
This isn't really about any specific chapter, but I don't want to put it outside a cut because it's boring rambling... So basically you know how I like to say that Danzo is responsible for about 80-90% of Konoha's problems?
Konoha's Biggest Problems: Madara, Tobito, Orochimaru, Pain, Sasuke, Kabuto/Kabumaru (I'm not including Kaguya because Kaguya was well before Danzo's time and she had no beef specifically with Konoha, only with the entire world)
Madara - no real connection to Danzo
Tobito - BLAME MADARA, not really connected to Danzo
Orochimaru - about 50% Danzo's fault; he was a creepy-ass mofo all on his own, BUT Danzo supported his experiments and allowed him to escape and I guess kept in touch with him for occasional sharingan implants so there is some blame to be spread here
Pain - also about 50% Danzo's fault for conspiring with Hanzo to sabotage the peace talks and killing Yahiko
Sasuke - 1000000% DANZO'S FAULT okay maybe more like 900000% Danzo and 100000% Tobito being manipulative but I think we can all agree that without Danzo being an asshole there would have been no Uchiha massacre as it happened in canon and without the massacre Sasuke would be such a different person and the odds are pretty good he would at most be kind of a jerk instead of a member of the Konoha's Biggest Problems club
Kabuto - 50% Danzo's fault for the Root stuff, 50% Orochimaru's fault for being Orochimaru at him, but since Orochimaru is also partially Danzo's fault, that works out to about 75% Danzo's fault?
So, out of six Konoha problems, Danzo bears complete or partial blame for four, or 66.667%, which makes my initial estimate rather high. HOWEVER. We must take into account the general misery caused by Root's training/brainwashing procedures (SAI, POOR BABY ;o; ) and the fact that his aggressively terrible policies likely influenced Konoha's relationship with other villages for the worse, almost certainly creating innumerable smaller problems for the village on a daily basis in addition to the Big Six. I feel it is therefore fair to round the total percentage of Danzo-caused problems up to 75-80%.
AND THERE YOU HAVE IT. MATHEMATICAL PROOF OF DANZO'S TERRIBLENESS.
... eh whatever I'm sad let's post.
Crossposted from Dreamwidth - read the original post here: http://hokuton-punch.dreamwidth.org/1052044.html .
Well, I just decided to check the manga for something and started a chapter too early and found Madara saying "Does there exist an adult that would seriously fight a child?" WELL MADARA YOU FOUGHT IN THE PRE-VILLAGE WARS SO I GUESS YOU WOULD KNOW! And then my immediate follow-up thought was "oh shit that's probably WHY he feels that way" even if he's a fucking hypocrite about it really and now I'm never going to be okay again. I DON'T EVEN LIKE YOU, MADARA. I DON'T WANT TO HAVE THESE FEELINGS.
And now I'm on the right chapter and yep 590 is still emotionally devastating everything is terrible and it all hurts NO JESUS FUCKING CHRIST ITACHI DIDN'T EVEN CRY WHEN SHISUI JUMPED BUT HE CRIED SUPER HARD BEFORE HE HAD TO KILL HIS PARENTS I'M NOT OKAY I'M NOT OKAY NOTHING IS OKAY HE WAS FUCKING THIRTEEN AND DANZO IS THE WORST AND TOBITO IS THE WORST.
"You don't have to forgive me, I will love you forever" JUST FUCKING KILL ME WITH THIS HALF-HUG AND THESE WORDS JUST LEAVE ME TO DIE THERE IS NO WAY TO CONVEY HOW MUCH EVERYTHING ABOUT UCHIHA ITACHI UPSETS ME I COULD LITERALLY TALK FOR 200 POSTS AND THREE HOURS AND CRY ON MY KEYBOARD AND YET THE FULL DEPTH OF MY FEELINGS WILL NOT REACH ANYONE okay actually you probably all have the general idea down pretty well by now never mind
Brb, it turns out I have to write upsetting fic about the AU version of the night of the Uchiha massacre. I mean haha no why would anyone let alone the Third Hokage be upset by going to stop a coup and finding out everyone is already dead before you can even talk to them! And then you have to figure out what to do with the 13-year-old you allowed to join ANBU when he was 11 and told he had to figure out how to stop a coup all by himself and also what to tell his baby brother who had almost no idea what was going on!! THERE'S NOTHING AT ALL UPSETTING ABOUT THIS HAHAHA SOMEONE HELP ME.
SOMEWHAT LATER, WHILE WRITING UPSETTING FIC: Oh, hey, Naruto Gaiden 10 is up!
First of all HAHA I CALLED IT SUIGETSU FUCKED UP THE TEST LIKE A GOOBER, I love him but what a loser sharkperson he is.
Second: SARADA IS DEFINITELY BOTH BEST AND ONLY GOOD UCHIHA. SO CUTE, SO PRECIOUS, SO MUCH EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE AND WILLINGNESS TO NOT BE A JERK. Clearly she got all of that from Sakura and a tiny bit from Shisui somehow maybe. BUT SERIOUSLY. I LOVE HER AND I'M GOING TO OTP HER WITH CHOUCHOU IF NONE OF YOU MIND, THEIR FRIENDSHIP IS ADORABLE.
Third: WHAT. THAT'S WHAT KABUMARU HAS BEEN UP TO. YOU TRUSTED HIM WITH CHILDREN. Hahahahahhahdk;aldkh;sladlshk KONOHA IS FUCKED. No I'm kidding I saw Urushi standing there behind him so clearly everything is fine here and now I'm going to die I still don't fucking believe Kishimoto made me feel emotions besides hatred and horror about Kabuto. Although really they were less about Kabuto and more about Urushi who was adorable AND SURVIVED THE WAR, I WOULD LIKE TO REITERATE MY PREVIOUS TAKEBACK, I'M SO FUCKING GLAD THERE WEREN'T MORE DEATHS. He just wanted his adopted little brother to finally come home oh my God AND OH HEY REMEMBER HOW KABUTO NEVER GOING BACK WAS DANZO'S FAULT?
Fourth: REALLY THOUGH, SASUKE. AT LEAST KISS YOUR FUCKING WIFE YOU FAILBOAT. I hope Sakura is having aaaaaaall the threesomes with Ino and Sai. Or Hinata and Naruto. Or regular twosomes with Lee! ANYONE WHO CAN MAKE HER HAPPY, FOR FUCK'S SAKE.
This isn't really about any specific chapter, but I don't want to put it outside a cut because it's boring rambling... So basically you know how I like to say that Danzo is responsible for about 80-90% of Konoha's problems?
Konoha's Biggest Problems: Madara, Tobito, Orochimaru, Pain, Sasuke, Kabuto/Kabumaru (I'm not including Kaguya because Kaguya was well before Danzo's time and she had no beef specifically with Konoha, only with the entire world)
Madara - no real connection to Danzo
Tobito - BLAME MADARA, not really connected to Danzo
Orochimaru - about 50% Danzo's fault; he was a creepy-ass mofo all on his own, BUT Danzo supported his experiments and allowed him to escape and I guess kept in touch with him for occasional sharingan implants so there is some blame to be spread here
Pain - also about 50% Danzo's fault for conspiring with Hanzo to sabotage the peace talks and killing Yahiko
Sasuke - 1000000% DANZO'S FAULT okay maybe more like 900000% Danzo and 100000% Tobito being manipulative but I think we can all agree that without Danzo being an asshole there would have been no Uchiha massacre as it happened in canon and without the massacre Sasuke would be such a different person and the odds are pretty good he would at most be kind of a jerk instead of a member of the Konoha's Biggest Problems club
Kabuto - 50% Danzo's fault for the Root stuff, 50% Orochimaru's fault for being Orochimaru at him, but since Orochimaru is also partially Danzo's fault, that works out to about 75% Danzo's fault?
So, out of six Konoha problems, Danzo bears complete or partial blame for four, or 66.667%, which makes my initial estimate rather high. HOWEVER. We must take into account the general misery caused by Root's training/brainwashing procedures (SAI, POOR BABY ;o; ) and the fact that his aggressively terrible policies likely influenced Konoha's relationship with other villages for the worse, almost certainly creating innumerable smaller problems for the village on a daily basis in addition to the Big Six. I feel it is therefore fair to round the total percentage of Danzo-caused problems up to 75-80%.
AND THERE YOU HAVE IT. MATHEMATICAL PROOF OF DANZO'S TERRIBLENESS.
... eh whatever I'm sad let's post.
Crossposted from Dreamwidth - read the original post here: http://hokuton-punch.dreamwidth.org/1052044.html .