ill drown the urge for permanence and certainty
im beginning to think i dont belong anywhere. or maybe everyone just sucks. or maybe im just tired and out of shape and unhappy with myself.
i miss going to chicago and drinking and dancing to 1-2-3 slam! and having fun and skating and running around not caring about anything. i dont feel good, like healthy. i hate the oncoming winter.
my old boss called me today and almost made me cry. shes one of the people from flint i miss the most.
i think i need to move to a big city. theres too many people there to make good friends, plus two of my best friends are already there. i need a change of pace.
We emerged from youth all wide-eyed like the rest.
Shedding skin faster than skin can grow, and armed with hammers,
feathers, blunt knives:
words, to meet and to define and to...
but you must know the same games that we played in dirt,
in dusty school yards has found a higher pitch and broader scale than we feared possible,
and someone must be picked last,
and one must bruise and one must fail.
And that still twitching bird was so deceived by a window,
so we eulogized fondly,
we dug deep and threw its elegant plumage and frantic black eyes in a hole,
and rushed out to kill something new,
so we could bury that too.
The first chapters of lives almost made us give up altogether.
Pushed towards tired forms of self immolation that seemed so original.
I must, we must never stop watching the sky with our hands in our pockets,
stop peering in windows when we know doors are shut.
Stop yelling small stories and bad jokes and sorrows,
and my voice will scratch to yell many more,
but before I spill the things I mean to hide away,
or gouge my eyes with platitudes of sentiment,
I'll drown the urge for permanence and certainty;
crouch down and scrawl my name with yours in wet cement.
i miss going to chicago and drinking and dancing to 1-2-3 slam! and having fun and skating and running around not caring about anything. i dont feel good, like healthy. i hate the oncoming winter.
my old boss called me today and almost made me cry. shes one of the people from flint i miss the most.
i think i need to move to a big city. theres too many people there to make good friends, plus two of my best friends are already there. i need a change of pace.
We emerged from youth all wide-eyed like the rest.
Shedding skin faster than skin can grow, and armed with hammers,
feathers, blunt knives:
words, to meet and to define and to...
but you must know the same games that we played in dirt,
in dusty school yards has found a higher pitch and broader scale than we feared possible,
and someone must be picked last,
and one must bruise and one must fail.
And that still twitching bird was so deceived by a window,
so we eulogized fondly,
we dug deep and threw its elegant plumage and frantic black eyes in a hole,
and rushed out to kill something new,
so we could bury that too.
The first chapters of lives almost made us give up altogether.
Pushed towards tired forms of self immolation that seemed so original.
I must, we must never stop watching the sky with our hands in our pockets,
stop peering in windows when we know doors are shut.
Stop yelling small stories and bad jokes and sorrows,
and my voice will scratch to yell many more,
but before I spill the things I mean to hide away,
or gouge my eyes with platitudes of sentiment,
I'll drown the urge for permanence and certainty;
crouch down and scrawl my name with yours in wet cement.