Why!
okay why is it that when people try to be happy... it no longer means only what they want... it now involves everyone around you... it now involves the people that suposedly care about you and whether or not they approve... welln ya know what... the way i look at it is... it should only matter how you feel...
it always seems like even if you do finally find someone you love... or you like... someone that you waish to be with or evn give them a try... but there are always things stopping you... like age, Friends, being scared... what other people think! how am i gonna tell this person... is this going to effect my job... am i going to hurt her! is this really right!! am i doing the right thing.... is this twaht i want... should i run now... can i stay.... am i hurting myself... am i really happy..
Is who i am who i have been!!
All these damn questions and yet no actual answers... no way to retreive any either...
I have never been one to run away from my problems... but i want to run so far... so very far... I want to start a whole new life.. i want to meet new people...
On the other hand... i have just started a whole new life... not even a year since this life has begun and let me tell you i have met some amazing People...
I have made a Best Friend... someone that i am not willing to lose...
My past is now beginning to cathch up with me... im not sure if its the best thing... im not exactly sure if i really want to let my past back in... but while i look for the future... i dont see Anything.. i need to get my life back on track.. but it doesnt seem possible...when im so lonely... all i think about is that special person that i want to spend my life with... i see my friends find people to beleive in... people that make them happy.. and you all have no idea how happy i am 4 you!! for all of you...
Dont let those non beleivers get to you because ya know what in the long run they really have no say in it... they dont know you... they really dont care... they have nuthing better to do then make others life miserable and ya know what... they dont deserve to see you unhappy... you need to prove to those non-beleivers!!
Ya know one thing in my life i am sure about is that i am gay and proud of it... i love and thank everyone for excepting it... but ya know what... i dont thank everyone for helping me use it to cause drama in my life... you may not have meant it... but it hurt... i dont blame anyone in particular, and i do blame myself... but i will tell you all this... i no longer trust anyone... i have one true friend... and well thats truly all i need until you prove that my life is safe in ur hands.... and well i sure as hell dont feel that!!
Hol
it always seems like even if you do finally find someone you love... or you like... someone that you waish to be with or evn give them a try... but there are always things stopping you... like age, Friends, being scared... what other people think! how am i gonna tell this person... is this going to effect my job... am i going to hurt her! is this really right!! am i doing the right thing.... is this twaht i want... should i run now... can i stay.... am i hurting myself... am i really happy..
Is who i am who i have been!!
All these damn questions and yet no actual answers... no way to retreive any either...
I have never been one to run away from my problems... but i want to run so far... so very far... I want to start a whole new life.. i want to meet new people...
On the other hand... i have just started a whole new life... not even a year since this life has begun and let me tell you i have met some amazing People...
I have made a Best Friend... someone that i am not willing to lose...
My past is now beginning to cathch up with me... im not sure if its the best thing... im not exactly sure if i really want to let my past back in... but while i look for the future... i dont see Anything.. i need to get my life back on track.. but it doesnt seem possible...when im so lonely... all i think about is that special person that i want to spend my life with... i see my friends find people to beleive in... people that make them happy.. and you all have no idea how happy i am 4 you!! for all of you...
Dont let those non beleivers get to you because ya know what in the long run they really have no say in it... they dont know you... they really dont care... they have nuthing better to do then make others life miserable and ya know what... they dont deserve to see you unhappy... you need to prove to those non-beleivers!!
Ya know one thing in my life i am sure about is that i am gay and proud of it... i love and thank everyone for excepting it... but ya know what... i dont thank everyone for helping me use it to cause drama in my life... you may not have meant it... but it hurt... i dont blame anyone in particular, and i do blame myself... but i will tell you all this... i no longer trust anyone... i have one true friend... and well thats truly all i need until you prove that my life is safe in ur hands.... and well i sure as hell dont feel that!!
Hol