Канцелярская крыса из нержавеющей стали
Итак, собрался Я в круиз. Обычно перед круизом покупал в близжайшем магазине пару ящиков воды, чтоб не пить на корабле воду из крана. Но недавно круизные компании запретили проносить воду на борт корябля - разумеется, "в целях заботы о комфорте пассажиров." А воду стали продавать по цене $90 за ящик (в магазине ящик воды стоит $4). Меня это как-то обидело. И решил поиграть с круизной компанией (это была NCL) в бюрократию...
Отправил им письмо:
... It is medical necessity for me to consume medications daily on morning and evening (Letter of Necessity from doctor is attached).
To consume medications I need two bottles of bottled water per day.
My doctor strongly advised me against use of tap water with my prescriptions because of high probability of side effects.
I need a pre-approval to bring on-board one case (28 bottles) of bottled water for my medical use.
Они меня, разумеется, послали:
Water is available to purchase on board the ship
Please note Pier will not accept a doctor’s note to let any guest board with their own water.
Следующий ход был мой и Я пошёл по стопам профессора Петрика:
My doctor advised me about a list of mineral water options suitable for my conditions.
Aquafina is not an option due to its purification process that removes calcium and potassium minerals.
I need a pre-approval to bring on-board one case (28 bottles) of bottled water for my medical use.
Они не ответили. Я написал тот же текст ещё раз. На этот раз пришёл ответ (точнее, вопрос):
Please advise what brand of water you are requesting to bring?
Ура, мы ломим, гнутся шведы ! Будем добивать лежачего:
For my medical and nutritional needs I need natural spring water with minerals, not purified.
In Illinois I continuously use Ice Mountain spring water.
If Ice Mountain is not available for purchase in NY, I’d purchase for my travel Poland Spring spring water.
Nutrient data of Poland Spring is very similar to Ice Mountain.
И вот результат:
We have made an exception for you to bring your water on board due to the medical condition discussed.
To help make the embarkation process easier for you and our pier staff, we have incorporated an icon that would appear on your cruise ticket so it is clear that you are approved to bring your liquid onboard.
When printing your documents ( which can be printed within 30days to sailing) you will see a water bottle icon reading “liquid policy exemption”.
Thank you for your continued business.
Вероятно, они таки думали про себя "что за херню нам этот мужик пишет", но отказать не рискнули: а вдруг что не так - потом засудят...
Отправил им письмо:
... It is medical necessity for me to consume medications daily on morning and evening (Letter of Necessity from doctor is attached).
To consume medications I need two bottles of bottled water per day.
My doctor strongly advised me against use of tap water with my prescriptions because of high probability of side effects.
I need a pre-approval to bring on-board one case (28 bottles) of bottled water for my medical use.
Они меня, разумеется, послали:
Water is available to purchase on board the ship
Please note Pier will not accept a doctor’s note to let any guest board with their own water.
Следующий ход был мой и Я пошёл по стопам профессора Петрика:
My doctor advised me about a list of mineral water options suitable for my conditions.
Aquafina is not an option due to its purification process that removes calcium and potassium minerals.
I need a pre-approval to bring on-board one case (28 bottles) of bottled water for my medical use.
Они не ответили. Я написал тот же текст ещё раз. На этот раз пришёл ответ (точнее, вопрос):
Please advise what brand of water you are requesting to bring?
Ура, мы ломим, гнутся шведы ! Будем добивать лежачего:
For my medical and nutritional needs I need natural spring water with minerals, not purified.
In Illinois I continuously use Ice Mountain spring water.
If Ice Mountain is not available for purchase in NY, I’d purchase for my travel Poland Spring spring water.
Nutrient data of Poland Spring is very similar to Ice Mountain.
И вот результат:
We have made an exception for you to bring your water on board due to the medical condition discussed.
To help make the embarkation process easier for you and our pier staff, we have incorporated an icon that would appear on your cruise ticket so it is clear that you are approved to bring your liquid onboard.
When printing your documents ( which can be printed within 30days to sailing) you will see a water bottle icon reading “liquid policy exemption”.
Thank you for your continued business.
Вероятно, они таки думали про себя "что за херню нам этот мужик пишет", но отказать не рискнули: а вдруг что не так - потом засудят...