mixed feelings
so many mixed feelings inside now. guess they arent contradictory but it's just a little bit annoying or irritating to myself when there's a disruptive selection for both extreme emotions. :O
as if this is the first time feeling these ways huh.
like the coming of concert. like the comm (and i hope i dont rake up unearthed or freshly buried feelings or whatsoever by saying this). like the ending of your entire co life :O which sounds terribly scary esp when the situation now is so bleak i honestly dont want to end with a horrible bang you know.
maybe this is a bit early but i used to look forward to the day my cupboard would be cleared of that huge files; or was so excited last year when i could go home when the sun is still out. i rmb one of the prac time they were trying to convince me to stay for prac but i didnt go because i wasnt in syf at that time heh. i guess i was glad (now more than ever) that i got to blow too ba. on the other hand, it is always exciting performing esp in an orchestra which is (: woah something i'd never have thought of. and im so glad to be able to experience this you know. of course people outside would never be able to understand. it's not only about the music you play, there's something about playing it all together as well. i honestly never thought or ever dreamed i'd miss all this. :O
hai then there's the other c. which is always very tricky because on one hand you feel happy with some and sad with others. guess everyone will have to learn to get over such things the sooner the better. dont want to say too much here since it's such a sensitive issue and not like anyone reads this but better be safe than sorry. i hope it was the rightest decisions anyways.
besides all these mind-bothering things, pc is coming out and i am excited :D hahahaha i just wish they can be a little bit faster though, esp if they have so many to go! (though i dont think they'll finish all haha!)