RP Log: Ryou & Sengoku

[_kisa_chan]

Rating: G
Summary: Falls inbetween this and this. Confused yet? Yeah, us too. XD Sengoku seeks out Ryou to talk about the tension that's been going around of late.



Post-quidditch practice usually found him sweaty and tired, normally that was offset by a quiet glow of accomplishment or the thrill of exhilaration. Today... he was just tired. The wall held him up when he slumped down on the bench in the common room, staring at his broom on the premise of trying to decide what maintenance it needed, but not really seeing it. He needed to take a shower. He needed to go up to the room and think about the reading he had to do for class tomorrow. Food would probably be good as well.

Except that he couldn't quite muster the energy for it. Sighing, he leaned his head back and closed his eyes. Life needed to try and be a little less complicated.

Qudditch practice had been... painful to say the least. Not in the physical sense of getting hit with random bludgers or being made to catch quaffle after quaffle, but in the sense that Sengoku had been walking on eggshells while dealing with his two friends. The atmosphere between them was completely strained and unfamiliar. It was enough to give Sengoku a headache, not that he already hadn't been fighting one for the past few days.

Which was why, after practice, Sengoku had sneaked off to the kitchens to retrieve something small to eat, though, telling that to the house elves presented him with its own little headache as well. He quickly got a few fruits and something to drink, and headed back to the dorms. Getting in without a fuss, Sengoku walked into the common room, fully intending on just heading straight up to his room, taking a shower, and holing himself away in his bed behind his curtains and deal with his friends another time. When he had more energy. Instead, that little course of action was forgotten as he saw the figure sitting alone and seemingly lost in thought. And the redhead knew it didn't take a genius to figure out what Ryou was thinking about.

With a sigh, Sengoku proceeded to approach Ryou, and decided that now, even though he was a little tired himself, would be a good idea to talk to the long-haired twin. "'Ey Ryou," he called out in warning, quickly plastering a grin on his face. "Think fast." And that was all he said before gently lobbing an apple in Ryou's direction.

"Mm?" At the sound of Sen's voice, Ryou barely stirred, not even bothering to open his eyes. Which was why he was completely startled a moment later to find an apple sailing towards his head. With a squeak, he threw his hands up... and only by some miracle managed to catch the thing. Slowly lowering his hands, he blinked down at the shiny red fruit he held, and then up at Sengoku. "Oh... thanks." He still seemed a bit shell-shocked by the snack's delivery. "Um... nice apple."

Still grinning, Sengoku casually took a seat next to Ryou and placed his broom on the ground before him. "Since I didn't have any knuts I had to pay you for your thoughts somehow," Sengoku half-joked, half-explained. Taking out his last apple, Sengoku took a loud bite out of the fruit and chewed a bit before speaking again. Best to just get to the subject right away since faking anything else would have been a waste of time. "So, would you care to tell me what you happen to be thinking about right now?"

Grey eyes were drawn downward, studying the apple that he was passing back and forth from hand to hand. He stopped, tugging on the end of his long, dark braid, and then leaned back, finally taking a bite from the juicy red fruit. He took his time chewing it, took his time mulling over exactly what he wanted to say.

"I..I'm thinking that I'm not sure I want to talk about this. But I'm also thinking that I'm not sure I have a choice." A sigh. "I'm... confused. Hurt. Wondering if Saeki is ever going to come back to the dorm or if he's planning to move in with Shira." A twist of his lips betrayed just how unhappy he was with the fifth year. "Thinking... that I am probably the stupidest person ever."

While Ryou had taken his time with picking and choosing his words, Sengoku had quietly eaten his apple, trying to feel for what his next step should be. He didn't particularly like being serious, but he knew that if he wasn't careful with his words, Ryou would most likely take him the wrong way and jump to conclusions that the redhead did not want him jumping to. At least he had an idea of how he should start since Ryou had created the opportunity for him. "Sae's not going to move in with Shira," he began, answering Ryou's questions first. "The thought of asking Hanamura scared him out of doing that. And you wouldn't have been sorted into Ravenclaw if you were the stupidest person to live."

Now where to go from here? Sighing softly, Sengoku decided that he'd just forget about being careful and plow straight on through. He'd deal with the damage from what he said later. "You're also not the only person who is confused. Sae's very nearly lost his mind over what he should do now. He doesn't know how to explain how he thinks to you without eating his entire foot in the process."

That evoked a reaction... not a very good one. Ryou's eyes flashed and he took another bite of his apple, rather like he was trying to bite off someone's head. "I know how he thinks. He thinks I'm dumb and unsophisticated. That I'm not worth having a relationship with, but that I'd be great to sleep with." It was obvious that a few days of incommunicado had had Ryou's thoughts wandering in a completely undesirable direction. "He said it himself, he's just like Chitose."

He was going to kill Saeki next time he saw him. Sengoku was going to kill him very painfully and very slowly, possibly with an unforgivable curse. Maybe after that he'd finally be able to get rid of his headache that had suddenly decided to become worse when he heard Ryou's thoughts. Heaving an audible sigh now, Sengoku put his finished apple on the table next to them and propped up his chin in his palm, elbow resting on his knee, as he turned to look at his friend. "If you think that's how Sae thinks, then you really have no bloody clue how his mind works," Sengoku stated very plainly, so that there wasn't any confusion to his meaning. The redhead's eyes flashed for a moment when Ryou said Saeki had compared himself to Chitose, but the look was quickly snuffed out. Nothing against Chitose, but he really could have picked a better person to mention. He was silent for a moment to let his words sink in before continuing. This time, with a slightly different approach. "Did you know that Sae was my first?"

The gentle rebuke immediately won a remorseful look from Ryou. A remorseful look, and tears. He rubbed at his eyes, looking down and wishing his hair was loose to hide them. "I know... It's just easier to be mad than it is to cry about it." Sniffling, he tried hard to get a handle on it, but he was so miserable and turned around by the whole thing that it was difficult. Sen's question was distracting, but when he looked up at the redhead there were tears still gleaming in his eyes.

"I... um... no, I didn't know."

Nodding, but not moving and keeping a straight face, with no hint of his usual smile or cheer, Sengoku went on. Had it been a normal situation, Sengoku wouldn't have hesitated to comfort Ryou and done his best to stop the tears that the other was trying so hard to stop. But, while Ryou was a good friend of his, Saeki was his best friend. The distinction wasn't much, but it was there. Which was why Sengoku didn't move an inch and just went on with his new approach, explaining why he had brought up that question as he had. "Saeki has always been on good terms with a majority of the student body, ever since we were first years. He could have picked anyone to share his first kiss with. For that matter, his first time with as well. But he didn't want to and couldn't just pick anyone to share his first with. Sae's reasons for that are actually quite simple, if a little selfish. He didn't want to share anything of himself with anyone he didn't care about."

Ryou frowned, shaking his head slightly. "I don't understand. Isn't that what everyone wants? I wouldn't want to do those things with someone I didn't have feelings for. Except--" He broke off, looking away. "The kiss... it wasn't what I wanted. I-I don't have any feelings for Chitose. It was exciting, but it didn't feel right."

Drawing a slow, deep breath, he rubbed at his eyes again, sniffling. "What you're saying is true of me as well."

"It's true for you and me and Sae as well, but that doesn't mean that something that's true for us can or will be true to anyone else," Sengoku calmly pointed out. "I don't know if Chitose feels the same way, so that could possibly be another reason why that kiss didn't feel right to you." He wouldn't point out that if Ryou thought about it, there were actually very few people Saeki had sex with, though the offer did present itself more than a few times. He occasionally did kiss a few people on a lark, but Sengoku knew that Saeki never did without at least knowing that the other person wanted to kiss him as well. "So, think about this for a moment. If someone is so unwilling to share a themselves with another person unless they care for them, do you think they'd ever think of someone else as just a body to sleep with?" The redhead probably shouldn't have continued to push right there, but he was tired and not more than just a little annoyed with both is friends. Even if he sided a little with Saeki more, it didn't mean he didn't want to physically hurt his friend either. "On the same token, if someone is unwilling to share themselves with someone they don't care about, do you think it might be hard for them to settle and give everything of themselves to just one person?"

Ryou slowly nodded, Sengoku's estimation of Chitose agreeing with much of what he'd already decided for himself. Saeki was a little harder, although he heard Sen out without interrupting. "I...hear what you're saying." He said it carefully, trying to think through his words. "But... I don't know that I agree."

A breakthrough! Or what appeared to be a breakthrough in their conversation. However, if Sengoku didn't want to undo the progress he had managed to make with Ryou's understanding, he'd have to take it slow still. "You may not agree, but you understand what I'm trying to explain, am I correct? Or do you at least see what kind of point I'm trying to express here?"

For a long moment, he just looked at the other boy, trying mentally to put his thoughts together. "Saeki wants our relationship not to change. He wants it not to change, but he wants me to let him be intimate with me. So while I understand that you are saying that I wouldn't simply be a body to him... I am not comfortable with just being a friend if that's what he wants from me."

Shaking his head, he pulled his knees up, loosely wrapping his arms around them. "My feelings for him..." He trailed off, biting his lip. "They're more than that." Grey eyes moved to Sen and then away again. "I know your relationship with Saeki, and I actually don't even mind it. Except..." He shifted uncomfortably. "He kept using it to hurt me. I'm sorry Sen, I was mad at you a little, but it wasn't your fault."

....... Oh he wasn't going to just kill Saeki now. He was going to torture him. He was going to shave him bald, hex him, and do all kinds of unforgivable acts that would involve lots of pain and hurt upon the person he considered his best friend. And all that would be after he made sure to beat him into a bloody pulp first. For a moment Sengoku had to close his eyes and his fist clenched in order to get a grip on his temper and to not start yelling obscenities right then and there. No... He could lose his temper later and take out his frustration on a certain dual-haired roommate later. More than anything, Sengoku hated it when someone used his name and put him in the middle of something without him knowing about it, or having a part of it. A part of him was still rational about it and understood why Saeki had said what he'd said, but he'd listen to that side later, once he fixed things between his friends and taking out his headache on Saeki's arse first. Then he would be reasonable and rational. For now, he just had to keep his temper and put it aside for later.

"Saeki's a bloody fucking arserag and you're an eejit if you believe that he really meant what he said when he didn't want your friendship to change," the redhead growled out, straightening and glaring at the Ryou. He was letting his accent slip, but he was too a point where he wasn't caring all that much about it. "Look, Ryou. Saeki isn't a chiseller, but he isn't ready to settle down and play Da and Ma just yet. He's a fine thing, and he knows it. So he's going to want to have some fun while he can. But that doesn't mean he's going to mess around with just anyone. He's bloody fucking scared of losing you too, which is why he hasn't already gone after yer hole or snogged you yet. But he's scared of trusting someone as well. For fucks sake, I am too, but not to the degree that Sae is. If he's willing to go and admit things to you, it means that he's putting himself and a friendship he values on the line. You won't be a body, but you won't be the only one for him. You'll be one of the few bloody people he actually trust in this bloody school. It won't be the same friendship, but how can he say something like that to someone who wants too much out of him from the start?"

By the end, Sengoku had to take in and let out a deep breath to calm his temper, which had cooled a bit during his ranting, but it was still there. Simmering at the edge and ready to explode at any given moment if he wasn't careful. "And I'm not pissed off at you, Ryou. I just hate having my name tossed around to hurt others like that."

Ryou just stared in silence as Sen ranted. Stared and tried to process the words even when they wandered away from English into Sen's more native dialect. The end though, it stung. Pricked him enough to make him flinch.

"Too much." He swallowed hard, tears welling in his eyes again. "For me it is everything I would give. To love someone is not small, it's big." His own English was being impeded by emotion. "To give them special things that no one else has had, to make their happiness your own. To trust. These are...not small, not simple. But to want something in return for them... this is too much?" He shook his head. "If that's true, then maybe I am too much for Saeki to want."

Turning his head, anger joined the tears in his eyes. "Is this what you mean to do to my brother? If you hurt Sushi I will make even your ancestors regret your actions."

Sengoku stared at Ryou as the other teen picked out his own meaning from his words. Ugh... And this was the reason why he did his best to keep from using his accent at school. There were always too many misunderstood words whenever he did so. Taking another deep breath, Sengoku let it out slowly and shook his head, leaning back against the couch. "No, I'd never do a thing like that to Sushi," he said tiredly, but firmly. He had control of his own accent once more, despite his temper still bubbling at the edge of his emotions. "I don't have the same fears and feelings that Sae does, so I can commit myself to one person. If Atsushi asks to be that one person, then I would do it. But right now, what happens next between us is up to him." Here, Sengoku sent a quick look and a small grin to Ryou, to show that even though he had been ranting, there weren't any hard feelings. "But I want him to decide what he wants without anyone interfering."

The redhead was silent for a while, as he pieced together where he had gone wrong exactly. It probably dealt with that word that even Sengoku was hesitant to say to another person so soon in his life. "Love..." he was stumbling now, but he wouldn't give up. "Isn't something that people like me or Sae can easily commit to right now. To ask for our love right now is what is too much for us. From me, the closest thing to love that I can show right now is devoting myself to one person. For Sae, his way of showing someone he loves them, is to put his trust in them. If Sae trust someone, he's allowing them to be able to hurt him, to know him, and to relax around them. It's his version of love."

Sengoku was very fortunate that he'd chosen the right words to assuage Ryou's rising concern for his twin. The reassurance was enough, he could live with it, content himself with remaining at that slight, safe distance to observe what path Sen and Atsushi would take together.

For himself... he shook his head. "Then you ask too much of me."

It seemed that whatever concerns that Ryou had about his twin's emotional welfare had been soothed by Sengoku statement of his own thoughts and feelings on the matter. But concerning how the long-haired twin felt about Saeki; they were still stumbling around the same spot as before. Maybe it was time for Ryou to explain his own feelings and to have Sengoku listen this time. "What is asking too much from you?"

"You say 'he trusts you' and that's supposed to make it alright to sleep with him. It's good because I could hurt him if I wanted to..." He scowled. "How is that good? He can take from me and have to give nothing back, and you say that it is alright because he trusts. I am supposed to be only his, but watch while he goes to anyone he wants, and you say it is alright. There is nothing good about that."

Taking a slow breath, he studied his hands. "For a long time... I wanted my first kiss to be Saeki. A long time I've watched him. It was awful when it didn't happen right. More awful when I found out that Saeki doesn't want me for a partner."

"Then don't sleep with him if it doesn't feel right to you," Sengoku said with a shrug. It didn't mean to be so flippant about it, but he didn't think that would be too much of a loss if Saeki was denied sex. Besides, that was Saeki's job to talk Ryou into that one. His was just damage control. "Take something from him if you want. Don't ask for total commitment, but tell him that he can't kiss anyone else but you or me or Sushi. Though I might not let him kiss Sushi if he wants to be serious with me. I'm a bit possessive myself, in the end." The carrot-top couldn't help but add a small tease between the two of them, despite everything. He just didn't like to openly brood, no matter what the reason might be. In a way, his feelings where the things that he hoarded away from others. He kept them hidden, save for his occasional temper. For the most part though, Sengoku was the smiling one and to show anything else to anyone else wasn't something he did lightly. Saeki had been the only one to date, that had seen the redhead when he was anything but cheerful or mad.

"It might not be just a partnership between you and him, but do you think you could live with it being a trio? With me being the third person?" Here, the redhead had to tease. "You have to agree," he said with a grin. "The thought of me and Saeki making out has to be a pretty hot visual."

The concept left him in shock, blinking up at Sengoku as though the redhead had just neatly tilted his world on one end. "A-a trio?" He blinked, half tempted to check and make sure his ears were alright, because he was certain he hadn't heard correctly. "The thought of-- of--"

Sudden. Completely. Intensely. Ryou turned the color of a tomato, lifting a hand to feebly fan at himself. "H-hot? I-I hadn't... It never... Omigod..."

Causing Ryou to blush wasn't exactly the same thing as making Atsushi blush, even if they did have almost exactly the same face. However, it still held it's own type of amusement for Sengoku just the same. The redhead couldn't help but crack a wide grin and latched onto this new material to play with. "You mean you have never thought of the physical aspect of my relationship wit Sae at all?" he teased, shifting so that he was leaned a little more towards Ryou suggestively, but not actually moving anywhere. His eyes had a predatory sort of look in them, but it was mixed in with his normal mischievous and playful air as well. The end result was something a look that was a little teasing and suggestive. "You've never imagined what it would look like when he and I shared a kiss? And what it would be like when that kiss becomes a little something more private and something much more steamy? Saeki rubbing his bare chest against mine as we put a better use to our mouths..." He'd get back to his original plan later. Once he was done having fun messing around with Ryou's imagination and teenage hormones.

The slender, dark-haired boy swayed, looking very much like he might tumble off the bench they were seated on. "I guess... I hadn't..." He swallowed hard, seemingly mesmerized by Sen's descriptions. "Y-you do that?" Biting his lip, he frowned hard, although whether it was for the sake of concentration or consternation was difficult to tell. "I mean... I knew that you were close. I guess it never-- not completely--"

He tugged on his braid, trying to tug his thoughts back into order. "I-it's not a fuss, to be naked with someone in Japan. There's more fuss here about no clothes. But to t-touch... and private... I don't know what...I've never... Well, just in books--"

Sengoku held his gaze with Ryou for a moment longer, enjoying the other boy's apparent confusion at exactly what he should be feeling when presented with such imagery. Then the redhead suddenly broke off his gaze and brought a hand up to cover his mouth with as he bit back the laughter that had weld up inside him, shoulders shaking with the effort. "Ah, I'm sorry Ryou," Sengoku apologized, once he had gotten himself under control once more. The air around him was once more simply friendly and teasing, like he hadn't just been starting to describe what Sae and him did when they occasionally made out. "But when I see opportunity, I can't help but take it. And that was a perfect opportunity." Snickering once more, Sengoku smiled and settled back into the couch, good humor restored, and headache subdued for a bit. "But if you were wondering whether or not what I just describe was true or not; I'll tell you that yes, Sae and me do occasionally do something like that," he informed the long-haired twin. "And it's much better than what can be described in some books."

Ryou frowned some more, frowned at Sen, and at himself, struggling with what he'd been told and what to think. "I... really am unsophisticated, aren't I?" That seemed to trouble him. "It's little wonder Saeki finds me lacking." He wilted a little. "I don't know how to do anything you just described." Touching his lips, he shook his head. "I barely know how to kiss." Could probably count the number of kisses he'd shared on one hand.

It made him feel strange, anticipatory, what Sen said. Made him wish that he did know the things Sen had described. Not just for Saeki, but himself.

Sengoku didn't really see why the fact that he was unsophisticated or not was such a concern for the other boy. Did he really think that he and Saeki had simply been born knowing how to kiss and flirt? Well, perhaps the flirting part was a bit natural, but the kissing thing was something that they hadn't known how to do exactly right from the get-go. Hence why Sengoku was Saeki's first kiss. They were both learning how to kiss correctly together. "Why does that really matter so much?" Sengoku asked. "Having the knowledge of knowing how to kiss and make-out isn't something that really matters to Sae if that's what you believe. Personally, I think Sae is happier knowing that you don't know how to do any of that stuff I just described to you. That way, he can teach you himself."

"But why--" He trailed off the response, biting his lip. "I-I'm sorry Sen, but... why would he keep mentioning you if it wasn't to emphasize that..." Again a blush colored his cheeks. "That you are better at the things he wants." He took a deep breath, squirming a bit where he sat. "I know there is feeling between you, but... it's also that you know how to... please him."

"That was Saeki being a bloody aresrag," Sengoku stated plainly, voice expressing exactly how much value he took out of that statement. His temper flared in remembrance, but the Irishman kept it at bay, settling for clenching his fist instead, the one away from Ryou's vision. "But beyond that, I'm not exactly sure on the reasons why he keeps tossing my name out like he does. You'll have to ask him that one for yourself." Sengoku shrugged, dismissing the matter in his own mind, but knowing that he'd ask that of Saeki himself when he talked to the other boy later. "Maybe it's a challenge for you to try and find new ways to make him happy."

The name made him wince, and he looked up at Sen warily, as though not sure whether to trust his temper. "Maybe..." It was impossible not to sound dubious of that. "I suppose only time will tell."

Time and a good smack to the head, Sengoku thought inwardly. He didn't know if they had actually made any progress tonight, despite seemingly having made some breakthroughs earlier, but Sengoku had to keep pressing to see if he couldn't at least get some kind of result. "Are you a little less confused now or would you like me to be present the next time you have a talk with Saeki?" It was an offer more for Sengoku's own sanity than Ryou or Saeki's really. He just didn't want to get dragged into something when he wasn't there. If he was there, at least he could handle things as they came up and not deal with the mess and headache afterwards.

For a long moment, he chewed his lip, the thoughts running through his mind practically visible on his expressive face. He hesitated, then nodded to himself. "Maybe... it might be nice if you were there." Maybe Sen could prevent Saeki from going too far off the deep end, and to have another point of view... "I think that might be good."

Nodding, Sengoku breathed a small sigh of relief now that a course of action had been planed to finally solve matters. He still didn't know if any progress had been made really, but at least he knew that Ryou was going to talk to Saeki. And Sengoku would make sure that the other boy listened. "So whenever you want to have a talk with Saeki, I will be there to offer you my support if you need it," Sengoku agreed, giving Ryou a small smile. "But, I will also take Sae's side on a few issues, just to keep you informed. Still, as long as you two are talking, I wouldn't imagine that it would be nearly as disastrous as it could be. I shall see to that."

"Of course." Ryou inclined his head, acknowledging Sengoku's stance. "I wouldn't expect you to take just my side. I think…" He hesitated. "…it would be better, you know, to have someone in the middle. To see both sides. That way we don't get off the track?" The way his eyes kept moving to Sen, watching him carefully, he was obviously checking to see if the suggestion was off-base. It was so hard to know what to do here, to try and make decisions like an experienced player when he felt like he had only just stepped onto the board. Deep breath. "I want to be someone he trusts. Someone he cares for. I want him to be… just a little bit mine." As much as Saeki was willing to be his, he amended silently. Even, he realized, looking at Sen, if he had to share him with the redhead. After all, there were worse things in the world… weren't there?

"Right," Sengoku said with a bit brighter smile, very pleased with the fact that Ryou wouldn't try to make him choose sides. He hated playing diplomat, but he'd always do it when the situation warrented. And simply because of that, Sengoku had actually gained quite a bit of experience with playing middle man. "I would like to keep having two friends instead of just one." Getting up off the couch, the redhead bent down to pick up his broom and turned to face Ryou one more time. "He's already shown that he's willing to trust you more than he already does," Sengoku assured, reaching over and patting Ryou on the shoulder. "But the finer details of caring and who goes to whom should be left up for you two to talk about. As for myself, I think it's high time I took my leave and headed for a shower before calling it a night."

Ryou smiled up at him, resting his hand lightly on top of Sen's. "Thank you... for taking the time to listen. Thanks, for caring enough to help us sort this out. I really appreciate it." A small sigh. "I'm not sure that we'd get much of anywhere without that help." He squeezed gently and then lowered his hand. "Yeah... I'm tired. I've been feeling that way a lot lately. Too much on my mind."

After having been so serious for so long, the Irishman just had to make a joke and tease Ryou. He wouldn't have been himself if he hadn't. "What? You mean there's more weight on your head than just all that hair you have?" he quipped with a grin. Reaching now to ruffle Ryou's long hair, Sengoku grinned and turned, heading up the stairs to their rooms. "Don't think too much on it Ryou. You know what you have to do next, so you might as well do it."

"Yeah... I know..." He sent the words and a smile after Sengoku. But once the redhead was gone, he lapsed back into pensive silence. He knew, but that didn't mean it didn't scare him out of his wits.