Duck to Cox

Sep 13, 2006 20:44

(Mr. Quackers delivers. Heavily warded and charmed to yodel incessantly for anyone else.)

After making a few purchases; packing a bag (which she then charmed to be feather light); and grabbing a sweatshirt, Lily sent out a note to Cox.

Ginger )

owl, rp, perry cox, lily potter

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coxinsox September 15 2006, 06:25:55 UTC
Perry might have been stupid enough to try for this, but he wasn't stupid enough to really believe he had a snowball's chance in hell of succeeding. At least, not anymore. It made him sick to think how optomistic he had been when he had first arrived. He wasn't a wizard, he wasn't even an oncologist, and he was going to, what, stumble into this place and cure leukemia? Of course he hadn't expected to find the answers right away, but those early small breakthroughs -- the potion he'd invented, his job at the hospital wing -- had seemed so crucial, so deeply promising. It was only now that he was beginning to realize just how far in over his head he was, how incredibly, impossibly huge a task he'd set for himself. The truth was, the past few days especially had been more crushing to that silly spark of optomism than even Perry himself realized, and his hope was all but gone.

It didn't mean he was going to stop. Not yet, not by a longshot. But there was no reason anyone -- least of all Lily, who hadn't even met Ben -- needed to join him on what was the medical equivalent of a suicide mission. More than that: if he was going to crash and burn, he needed to do it alone.

He wasn't surprised by her offer, but he gave the answer they both knew he was going to give. Shaking his head, the sad smile on his face softened and faded. "Please," he muttered, sarcastic, but sad, the 'no' left implied hanging after. Please, no. And something else, too, another plea in his voice that became clear when his eyes lifted to hers. For once, the walls were down, for he was far too tired to keep them up, and his eyes, intent, said what he hadn't: please, don't act like this is real.

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lilypotter60 September 15 2006, 06:53:58 UTC
Swallowing hard, forcing down the tears that were threatening along with a dozen protests as to why he should let her work alongside him, she nodded slowly. Her free hand reached out to him, gently pulling his head towards her, thumb stroking lightly on the nape of his neck. Resting her forehead against his for a moment, Lily suddenly wished that she'd been raised Muggle. That she'd gone to medical school, that she had the knowledge to talk to him about this. She knew that he saw all of the Magic that she built her life around as...as something silly she used to charm a water bottle to refill. It was evident from the fact that his wand was rarely used, outside of what was necessary. Perry had no concept of the depth and breadth of what it truly meant to be a Wizard. And so, she felt there was this invisible chasm between them; mostly just haze in the background, but at moments like this, it seemed massive. She couldn't help but wonder if she were more like him, more like what he thought of as real, if he'd let her in. If he wouldn't feel the need to shoulder this alone. Maybe not.

Kissing him softly, she looked at him for a moment. Acknowledging what he hadn't said, giving him what support he'd accept from her, letting him know how sodding proud she was of him. Then she drew back and moved to again sit beside him. He might not let her struggle on with him through this, but Lily would do whatever else she could to make the fight a little easier on him. Right now, he needed a break from all the stress he had taken on. So, she would try and give him that. And he was sleeping tonight, if she had to tie him to the bed to accomplish that.

Really, there was only one thing she could think of to do to move the conversation away. Picking up the apple pie, she turned to him and gave him a small smile. "Pie, Ginger?" she asked innocently. What? Dessert was a nice, safe topic that probably wouldn't end in 'my best friend is slowly dying and there's nothing I can do about it'. At least, she hoped not. Cause her only other thought involved outdoor sex, and that might not be appropriate at this moment.

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coxinsox September 15 2006, 07:33:49 UTC
Maybe it was just one of those things. That Perry was feeling so tapped out there was nowhere to go but up, or the stress had made him giddy, or something. Whatever it was, when Lily held up the pie with that innocent smile, he cracked, and a laugh, soft and hoarse but a laugh all the same, broke out from deep inside him. Suddenly feeling the need to touch her, just because, he gently pushed the hands holding the pie tin away, cupped her face in his hands, and kissed her, softly but intently.

Drawing back, he brushed his fingers over her cheek, watching her for a moment, scanning her face. It was odd: nothing had actually changed in the past few minutes. The weight on Perry's shoulders was as great as ever, the hollow tight feeling in his chest as gnawing, and there was still a great deal of pain in his eyes as he looked at her. And yet, he found that despite all that he could smile, and he did.

The truth was, he was incredibly lucky to have her. Even if the hiking trip had slightly backfired on them, the way she was still putting so much effort into just trying to make him feel better... In a lesser woman, he might have mocked it as a thin attempt to please, or turning oneself into a doormat, but he respected Lily far too much to see this as anything but the support and warmth that was being offered him. "Thank you," he said quietly, meaning it with all his guarded, broken heart. He kissed her again, then tipped her chin down to kiss her forehead softly.

Pulling away, he reached for his Firewhisky and drained down the rest of his glass in one neat swallow. He lay down, pillowing his head with his arms, and tried to make himelf relax again. He had been feeling so good for a while, there. What on earth had happened, anyway?

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lilypotter60 September 15 2006, 10:18:52 UTC
Returning his kisses, her own lips tugging up in response to his smile, Lily met his gaze steadily. She was startled to see a look in his eyes that she recognized. One that had been passed between the Order members every time they'd approached a house with the Dark Mark above it. One she remembered seeing in Dumbledore's face the day he'd asked her to join the movement against Voldemort. One she'd seen lurking in her own eyes when she realized the child she was carrying would be hunted and hated, that her precious son would have a horrible destiny hanging over his head. The look, that stomach-dropping look, she recalled from the night they'd decided to use Sirius as bait, to let Peter be their Secret Keeper. And one she saw over and over again in her nightmares when she and James knew who was outside their door.

Once again she felt the sharp agony of a helpless longing to do something to prevent him from having to endure this. And yet Lily knew, better than most, that this had no easy solution. That once he'd accepted this pain, it was his, and it wasn't going away. The shadow of it would haunt his eyes from now on, and all she could do was hold his hand. If she could, Lily would take it from him. All of it - the pain, the helpless fear, the sorrow, the guilt, the hopeless frantic need - she would willingly take on herself, to spare him this. But, of course, she couldn't. And imagining his reaction if he knew she was thinking this made her smile softly. So, she'd just sodding hold his hand, then. It wasn't much - wasn't anything, really - but if it was everything she could do, then it was what she would pour herself into. And the fact that he still could smile, in spite of all of it, made her think that, maybe, he'd find a way to live with the look and all that it meant. All that lurked behind it.

When he thanked her for her pale efforts, her breath caught slightly and she swallowed, hard, to again force back tears. 'You're welcome' seemed so inadequate, so out of place, so she simply put all of the emotion behind those words into her kiss and hoped that he understood. That of course she'd done what small things she could, and would continue to do them as long as he let her; that he didn't need to be alone if he didn't want to be; that she wasn't going anywhere; that she'd support him however she could. Hell of a lot to put into a kiss, but she tried. Words - usually her first resource - failed her and so the kiss would have to do.

Lying down on her stomach beside him, she closed her eyes and sighed. This was...not how this entire day was supposed to go. That thought made her laugh a little, and she couldn't stop the smile that crossed her face. So, hiking was good, picnics were all right, but talks of double dating were right out. "Once," she said, seemingly out of the blue, "my roommates and I decided to go skinny dipping in the lake. We snuck out one night, stripped off all of our clothes, and went streaking down to the water. The swimming bit went fairly well - with the help of some warming charms we'd put on before going out - but when we went back to find our clothes they were...well, someone - we never really found out who - decided to 'liberate' them. So there we were, five naked, sopping wet girls standing out on the great lawn." She glanced at him and grinned, "Go ahead and picture it, Ginger. It was quite a sight. So then - as none of us had thought to bring our wands - we had to somehow make our way back up to Gryffindor tower without being caught. I believe the theme of that evening was 'this seemed like a better idea when we all had our clothes on'." She glanced at him and shrugged. "Somehow that struck me as an appropriate anecdote."

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