Brice, "Angels Unlimited"/"Agent Angel"
A young man, his hands stuffed into his pockets, wandered idly into the Sorting Hall and stopped. He scanned the place for any form of activity, and then caught sight of the application. He shrugged and began filling it out.
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
Cheese. Okay. Very odd question for a school application, but who am I to complain. When it comes to cheese, I’m fairly open-minded. As long as no little mouse has nibbled on it, I’m not picky.
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
Barney makes the kiddies happy, I suppose. Carrot Top just... makes no one happy. So yeah. Redhead’s gotta go. *pause* But I don’t kill people.
3. What time is it where you are?
Time to sort me, I should think. Okay, I don't have a watch on me, but it's around five pm. Earth time, that is.
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them?
I’m pretty sure that sexual harassment isn’t on the angel job description, so I’ll pass on this one.
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
The Hellhole? Not particularly witty, perhaps, but it’s dark enough.
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
Don’t think so, sweetheart. I’m not much of a debater. The bloke can choose whoever he damn well likes.
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
It doesn’t exactly sound like the dirty deeds of PODS to me, but they often have an ulterior motive to the things they do, so... I’d recommend you getting a nice little angel secretary to look through the papers for you, just to see if you should worry. Or you could get an incinerator. It might be easier to handle, come to think of it.
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
*eyetwitch* You know, quite a lot of people have told me that I am useless over the years. Doing my best to prove them wrong, over here. Hey, at least I’m not a bad guy anymore!
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe.
Bribe, you say? Hm. *sarcastically* Would you be interested in a halo? No? Well, I’ve got a lot of Astral Garbage t-shirts that I wouldn’t mind sharing with others. It’s a great band. Also, I’ve got a couple of bottles of hair-bleach left. *waves hand vaguely around hair* It doesn’t really suit me anymore. And... *takes a pair of jewelled knuckledusters out of his pocket and throws them on the floor in front of him* There are these.
"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. _____B_______
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. ____B_______.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. ____B_______.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. ____B_________"
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
Cheese. Okay. Very odd question for a school application, but who am I to complain. When it comes to cheese, I’m fairly open-minded. As long as no little mouse has nibbled on it, I’m not picky.
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
Barney makes the kiddies happy, I suppose. Carrot Top just... makes no one happy. So yeah. Redhead’s gotta go. *pause* But I don’t kill people.
3. What time is it where you are?
Time to sort me, I should think. Okay, I don't have a watch on me, but it's around five pm. Earth time, that is.
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them?
I’m pretty sure that sexual harassment isn’t on the angel job description, so I’ll pass on this one.
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
The Hellhole? Not particularly witty, perhaps, but it’s dark enough.
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
Don’t think so, sweetheart. I’m not much of a debater. The bloke can choose whoever he damn well likes.
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
It doesn’t exactly sound like the dirty deeds of PODS to me, but they often have an ulterior motive to the things they do, so... I’d recommend you getting a nice little angel secretary to look through the papers for you, just to see if you should worry. Or you could get an incinerator. It might be easier to handle, come to think of it.
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
*eyetwitch* You know, quite a lot of people have told me that I am useless over the years. Doing my best to prove them wrong, over here. Hey, at least I’m not a bad guy anymore!
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe.
Bribe, you say? Hm. *sarcastically* Would you be interested in a halo? No? Well, I’ve got a lot of Astral Garbage t-shirts that I wouldn’t mind sharing with others. It’s a great band. Also, I’ve got a couple of bottles of hair-bleach left. *waves hand vaguely around hair* It doesn’t really suit me anymore. And... *takes a pair of jewelled knuckledusters out of his pocket and throws them on the floor in front of him* There are these.
"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. _____B_______
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. ____B_______.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. ____B_______.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. ____B_________"