Remus celebrates! (open RP for Ravenclaws and whoever else shows up)

[profmoony]

Upon receiving his letter from the Sorting Hat, for a moment Remus couldn't believe his good fortune. After so many months - so many years - he would actually be teaching his favorite subject again, his area of expertise. He was completely thrilled - so thrilled, in fact, that he wanted to tell someone about it right now. Anyone would do - even

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[lilypotter60]

Lily spotted Sarah and hesitated. Normally, especially in a circumstance where she was celebrating something brilliantly wonderful for a mate, she wouldn't hesitate to join Sarah and insist on a drink and a toast. But, after their last encounter, Lily felt as if something was distinctly off about their friendship. Far more than the fracturing that had happened as a result of Anthony, this was something Lily didn't understand or know how to go about fixing.

Having nearly decided to simply pretend she hadn't seen her (former?) mate, Lily was turning back to the bar when she spotted Sarah's shirt. And read it. And nearly fell off of her barstool. Choking on her Scotch, Lily's face broke into a wide grin. That? Was bloody brilliant. If Sarah had been her worst enemy, Lily still would have bought her a drink for that.

Laughing as she walked over, she smiled at Sarah. "That shirt, mate, is so sodding wonderful. In fact, I insist you let me pour you a drink. Where did you get it?" Briefly, she wondered how Perry would feel about her getting something similar... Going behind the bar, she pulled a fresh glass out for Sarah and looked up. "What's your pleasure, love? I'm drinking Scotch, myself, but there's no lack of options."

[nopower_overme]

Sarah spotted Lily as well on her perusal of the room as she approached the bar, thinking uncomfortably of the last time she had been at this bar with her friend. Not former though, for despite her convictions that she needed to be completely careful, Lily was still her friend. It did set a tone for any time they met in public and this was the first time she had seen Lily without Stephen right at her side. For a moment, the confidence that Sarah had settled so wonderfully into over the last weeks was shadowed by a brief touch to one of the words on the t-shirt, under which lay the talisman, and a quick darting of eyes trying to locate Stephen.

However, at the sound of Lily's laughter and the realization of why she was laughing, her hand dropped back to her side. Lily was not an immediate danger, she had to stop letting herself react as though she expected Lily to do something wrong. It was not a fear of Lily she had, only a fear for Lily... and a fear of her own self, that her carefully constructed reasoning and emotional walls would fail when confronted with normal behavior from her friend.

Acting had always come easily - especially the comfort and confidence that could be found in pretending - so she did it now. Stance relaxed a bit, smile appeared briefly and she stopped looking around so avidly for Stephen, the other half of her safety and security. She could handle this on her own, right?

"Why, Lily, I have no idea what you mean," she said, lips twitching just a bit. "And I'll have my usual, a screwdriver." Someday she might branch out, but for now she knew the affects of a few kinds of alcohol and could control her level of intoxication. She hopped up on a vacant stool and waited, body turned so her shirt was visible. Yes, she was perhaps trying to get a bit of attention for it - but it was a funny shirt! "And I ordered it from a catalog... I could send you a copy if you like, they sent me two with my order."

[lilypotter60]

Somewhere in some repressed corner of her mind, Lily relaxed marginally. All right, then. She could do this. Whatever she had done to put Sarah off of her, she could fix. Starting with this - just being like they used to be. Normal conversation, a bit of banter. Easy, right?

She would deny the fact that her heart was pounding and she had a sick feeling of nerves. This was Sarah, for Merlin's sake. Her first friend at Hogwarts outside of those she'd already known. Her sister, in spirit, if not in blood. Refusing to give in to the tiny urge to scan the room for Perry - and, therein, an impartial third party she could use as a subject change or source of quick humour in case of something going horribly wrong - Lily instead grinned and nodded. "Screwdriver, then, coming up." Pouring the orange juice and vodka, she handed her mate the drink and went to sit beside her. Glancing at the shirt, Lily again laughed. "I'd love that, Sarah. I, er," she flushed slightly, "I think I know someone who would find that amusing."

Taking a sip of her own Scotch, Lily carefully schooled herself to bloody relax. "How have you been, mate?" She did not mention the fact she hadn't really seen Sarah - outside of briefly, at a Sorting, and then again a few days ago in the Common Room - since their fight. Lily studied Sarah's face for a moment and then smiled softly. "You look happy, love," she murmured. "I'm glad."

[nopower_overme]

Though Lily could not know it, that was the same nervous feeling Sarah was having now, which was not entirely mixing with her drink yet. It was a precarious place to be, because Sarah did not know if she could continue to be friendly, yet not wholly involved and what would come of it if she failed at a carefully controlled slight distance. Avoidance had been easier because then her heart could not betray her common sense, but it was no solution.

The flush of Lily's was noted with a slightly knowing smile despite herself. She made the connection to Cox, but did not speak of it right now. She was curious, but she needed to handle all of this carefully.

At Lily's observation of her happy look, Sarah's gaze again went around the bar and this time found Stephen. Gazes connected and her attention went completely to him for the moment, her expression changing into one much happier and a bit more relaxed by now having spotted him. She noted the concern - concerned because of his opinions of Lily, but not overly concerned because of the safety of the talisman - and the unspoken question in his expression and, after a moment, gave him a reassuring smile. 'I'm okay.' Words not heard, but he knew her well enough to still get the message. If she needed him for any reason, she would let him know... but for now, she could do this.

This time he could not tug the cord of her talisman in reminder of the fact she was quite safe, but she did not need him to do that now. She touched her front again, the gesture not of distress but in reassurance that she knew she was protected. He nodded his approval and raised his glass to her, which drew a bright smile from her, expression lightening considerably. She raised hers as well, drank from it and then winked at him before she turned back to Lily.

"I am happy, happier... happier than I've been in my whole life," she said softly as she met Lily's gaze. Even now, honesty came easy - Sarah and Stephen's relationship was not hidden in the least but she did not often on about how wonderful it was. "I never imagined I could be this happy and, even more, it's all real, all mine..." - she knew that Lily would know what she meant - "...and normal."

She sipped her drink, looking Lily over. "And you, how are you?" she asked, her concern clear despite her reserve. The unspoken part of the question was 'how are you really?' and it would be clear to someone who knew her like Lily did.

[lilypotter60]

The exchange was not lost on Lily, and her gut twisted horribly. Something was there, something important, but she didn't know what. Momentarily feeling lost and heart-wrenchingly confused, Lily took a drink and looked away. This had been a mistake. She didn't know how or why, but it had been. Her fingers clenched for a moment on her glass as she struggled to not make her excuses and leave. But, much the same way she had done everything in her power to fight to keep Perry from leaving the other night, Lily felt the need to struggle against losing yet another good thing from her life. So, when Sarah turned back to her, she would find Lily's face smooth and happy, no trace of the internal struggle.

Listening to Sarah, Lily's face reflected deep joy. "That's...that's brilliant, love," she said sincerely. "Really, you deserve it. You deserve everything, and I'm glad you have it."

At Sarah's question, Lily hesitated. Some part of her wanted to throw up hasty walls, to ward her mind against Sarah getting too close. She'd never admit the pain that Sarah pulling away had caused her, but the desperate struggle to distance herself from the possibility of being kicked away again gave lie to the depth of the hurt. But, as she'd told Daniel, the smallest hope of happiness was worth a valiant battle. A slow, genuine smile crossed her face. "I'm...I'm good, Sarah. Really." Though she still looked faintly tired - the nightmares had yet to stop, and so sleep still eluded her most nights - the lines of worry and fear that had almost become a part of her were gone. "I'm happy. And I'm not afraid anymore." She laughed then, softly, but with a thrill of wonder. "Merlin, Sarah, I'm happy. Things are still hard, but I'm learning how to handle them. I'm all right, really." She watched Sarah for a moment and then said, quietly, "But I've missed you, love."

There. She'd said it. Her eyes dropping, a line of worry creasing her forehead, she waited for Sarah to walk away or freeze up or laugh it off. She may have just pushed too hard or said the wrong thing, but it was done. It was absurd to sit there, both pretending like a sodding troll wasn't in the room. Might as well get it over and out with.

[nopower_overme]

Sarah listened intently, trying to judge if there were things not said she should hear, or signs she should see and was not. Yet, she truly did believe that Lily was certain of her words. What that meant, Sarah did not focus on because it was a tricky place to have faith in someone's words when you were still holding them emotionally at arms-length.

Then she stilled, shocked to frozen silence at the declaration. First instinct, even now, was to reach out, touch and reassure. That was also the problem, because it meant her walls were not so strong. Dammit, she was stronger than this, wasn't she? It had been necessary hurt and pain for both of then, that was what Sarah kept telling herself. Lily could not be led astray and be used as a tool if there was no one there to use her against, and Sarah did not run the risk of not seeing the signs of something going wrong until it was too late to stop it.

"It's not that I haven't missed you too," she said, voice a bit rough, "because I have. It's just... complicated." There was too much there to talk about over drinks at a bar and, even more, she was not certain she wanted to talk it out. Talking might bring on what she feared the most - that same regained closeness that had torn her up when she walled if off from her. Closeness was the danger, because the deeper she was involved in Lily's life, the more danger there was of being in the crossfire. After all, a peacemaker is one in the position to get shot from both sides.

"I'm glad you are happy now," she said, only warmth and honesty in the words. "You deserve to be after all these months too, deserve a chance to live this new life of yours away from danger," she said, and again offered a prayer that this was true, that perhaps Lily was keeping herself from danger.

"I'm assuming you are getting... personalized medical attention of some kind to brighten your days?" she asked, an attempt at levity made with another knowing look. In other words, she was pretty certain Lily was happy because she had herself a certain doctor.

[lilypotter60]

Lily's eyes raised at Sarah's words; her expression, just for a moment, lost and vulnerable. But, at the phrase 'it's complicated', the expression slipped to resignation and then a flicker of understanding. She made no effort to hide this from Sarah, instead choosing to leave herself open and completely without protection.

She thought she might know, now, what was keeping Sarah from her. After all, Perry had nearly bolted when he heard her story. How much more so Sarah, who she had been far more honest with, far more open? All the things Lily carried with her - her scars, both physical and emotional, from the War; her fears of Voldemort; her odd family situation - were too much, really, to expect any person not already involved to get invested in.

It was true, then. The damage was too great and she was not worth the struggle. One of her fears, one of the things she'd never really admit worried her, was truth. Sarah was evidence of this. How long until others in her life pulled away? How long until she was alone with her grief and her nightmares and her shattered life? Yet another victory to Voldemort, and there wasn't a damn thing she could do about it.

For a long moment, she held Sarah's gaze, allowing her friend to see everything about her, without guile or walls or any sort of distance. In a decision that cost her more than Lily would ever tell, she allowed Sarah to see her with none of her normal barriers or control. If her mate had possessed even the smallest amount of Legilimency skill, she would have been able to poke and prod at Lily's deepest secrets.

Then, in a deliberate move, Lily lowered her eyes and brought up a small medium of distance. Not a pulling away or a rejection, but a simple stepping back. Allowing Sarah to no longer be a 'sister', but simply a 'mate'. Letting her choose this slight barrier between them. In doing this, Lily was letting Sarah know that she thought she understood what the 'complications' entailed and she didn't hold the decision Sarah had made against her. That she would not push. If Sarah needed this, Lily would give it to her, no matter how much hurt it would cause. They would be casual mates - a bit of a chat over a drink, friendly conversation over dinner, laughs exchanged in class. Nothing more. One thing Lily had learned was how to emotionally distance herself from people and situations. So, she was doing this for Sarah. She knew that her friend was normally open and friendly and vibrant with life. Loving with passion and a whole-hearted enthusiasm that had often both amused Lily and given her a small feeling of envy. Lily, however, could keep her life in strict compartments, she could keep her distance if needed. So, instead of putting the burden on Sarah, she took it on herself. Sarah had needed hold her guard around Lily. Now, Lily would guard herself from Sarah. For Sarah.

All of this took a few moments, the space of a look and a drink, and then Lily was smiling at Sarah, her tone light and friendly. "Danger is something I've cut out of my life," she agreed, raising her glass in a toast to that endeavor. "Highly overrated, that - like American beer or shagging in a broom closet."

Banter and light teasing and the quick flash of a grin and a laugh. Same as Lily would share with anyone she'd have a drink with. Distance. At Sarah's next words, however, Lily almost choked on her drink. Flushing brilliantly, she couldn't stop a silly, completely happy grin.

"Er, yes," she chuckled, composing herself. "Actually. Fairly new, this 'medical attention'. Fairly out of the blue, also." She winked, then, leaning back and taking a drink. "I'd heard such lovely things about doctors that I couldn't resist, mate."

[nopower_overme]

While it only took a few moments of literal time, for Sarah it felt much longer. While she could not read Lily as well as she could read someone like Stephen, she thought she could read Lily well enough to see the reaction and blamed it entirely on herself for her 'it's complicated' brush-off. Rather than divert the topic, she had made everything worse in her mind and rather than realize Lily was trying for the same goal Sarah was, she was certain her friend had felt coldly rebuffed.

She had no mental skills, no ability with Legilmency that she knew of, so there was no way to read any of Lily's thoughts that might have cleared some of this up for Sarah. While she had said before Lily was a friend and 'mother-figure', she did not know now how she could reconcile that to what was going on. Did this mean she no longer saw Lily that way or did that mean, much like her own mother, Sarah could abandon 'family' for her own goals and motives? Neither was an option she wanted to entertain about herself, yet she felt the loss that occurred as Lily looked away and hated that she did feel it. It was what she had wanted, yet it would be foolish to deny that she also wanted things how they used to be between her and Lily. It hurt and she hated hurting, especially now as this was her only pain. Before she had plenty to worry about and distract herself with but now, this whole thing with Lily was one of the few painfully sore things in her life now.

The contrast between all these thoughts and feelings and the light banter was jarring for Sarah, who could not flip the emotional switch inside herself at will. She could not section off parts of herself and let others work in place of them - she did everything with her whole heart and that was not a personality she felt suited to whatever all of this was. She was going to try, though.

"Doctors are lovely," she mused with a smile, trying for this new dynamic in some attempt to remain in control of herself. Gaze went to Stephen again, trying not to look desperately out of her depth but needing something to ground herself. She looked back at Lily and tried for a bigger smile. "Though, I hope you got this information from someone in their right - or should we say sober? - mind, otherwise who knows what kinds of idea you have about doctors?"

There, that was how this was done, right? Banter, a joke on past mistakes, no new information offered up. This was not a big deal to do this. Looking down, she realized her glass was mostly empty. Okay, perhaps it was a big deal. She looked up again, this time for Stephen and held up her glass a bit in a silent request for more alcohol.

[estebanmd]

Stephen saw Sarah raise her near-empty glass and nodded to acknowledge the request. He would happily bring her another screwdriver, of course, and now that Homsar had made the clown threat known, he should make sure she ingested at least a cup of Evil Clown Repellent, and the same for Lily Evans (?Potter?) as well.

Glass in one hand, tray of small gelatin drinks on the other, he made his way over to the two women. "At your service," he said, grinning, handing Sarah her screwdriver. He then offered the tray to Lily. "We must all do our part to ward off evil clowns." It did not occur to him that this could be construed as an effort on his part to get Miss Evans (?Potter?) into a state of intoxication. Stephen/Sarah/Lily ftw?

[lilypotter60]

Lily blinked. Sarah was...shite, Sarah was bloody uncomfortable and awkward and now Lily was just confused. What did Sarah want, then, if not distance? Going for closeness hadn't worked, pulling back was obviously just making things worse...

Frantically trying to figure out how to proceed, Lily felt off balance. Now her eyes lifted and she subtly scanned the room for Perry. Very rarely in her life would Lily admit she needed someone. She might like to be with people, and she'd be the first to acknowledge that sharing a load would make it easier. But to outright say she needed someone was a rare occurrence. But, Merlin, it would be bloody nice if he were here. Stifling a small sigh when her eyes didn't find the familiar figure, Lily drained the rest of her glass and smiled brilliantly at Sarah. Only someone who knew her extremely well would know all the things rushing through her brain behind that smile.

"Drunken shagging stories are the most reliable," she assured Sarah, teasing. "Sober people rarely tell the truth on such matters. And so far I'm finding Doctors to be quite wonderful."

Fuck, fuck, fuck, shite, fuck, bloody sodding fuck. A litany of nervous despair was running through her head even as she grinned and bantered and the like. She needed a distraction or a break or bloody something.

Then, like Apollo hitching his chariot and bringing the sun, Stephen appeared with a tray of Evil Clown Repellent. "Oh, thank Merlin," she thought, giving him a friendly smile. "Indeed, Professor," she agreed with a small laugh, choosing a red jelly shot. "Cheers." Knocking back the shot, she hoped that the addition of a third party and much delicious alcohol would help the conversation.

[nopower_overme]

"Oh, they are very wonderful," Sarah agreed and then smiled gratefully at the very wonderful doctor on approach, bearing not only another screwdriver but Evil Clown Repellant. All these things were welcome distractions from her current state, but by far the most welcome was Stephen himself. There was a bond there that she depended on and a feeling of reassurance from knowing he was close, despite her earlier desire to handle this. Even though he had been in eyesight before, it was being this close that took the conversation from two to three and that was more of a relief than she realized it would be. It made this no longer a one-on-one conversation while she tried to sort all of this out.

Grabbing a blue jello shot, she downed it and then regarded the tray. Alcohol that tasted as good as food and candy really was her downfall. "Is there some reason to believe an evil clown is showing up here tonight?" she asked curiously, then grabbed another. "Hmm, just in case, right?" Down went the second and then she picked up the drink he had brought her to keep from a third. Feeling more at ease with Stephen here and the alcohol working its way into her system, she relaxed somewhat. Smile became a bit less stiff and her back less ramrod straight as she swiveled on the stool to face them both.

[estebanmd]

Stephen set the tray down on the bar between the two women, and from it took another of the small glasses for himself: ECR Green, with the kick of artificial lime. He was about to place a comforting hand on Sarah's back when she swiveled to face him, and it was then that he read, for the first time, the legend emblazoned on her new T-shirt.

He just managed not to splutter ECR Green, swallowed, and coughed. "Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. Woman, have you never heard that discretion is the better part of valor?"

[lilypotter60]

Choking back a laugh at Stephen's reaction, Lily turned her face away, shoulders shaking slightly. Glancing over at Sarah, she shook her head helplessly, biting her lip to hold back the giggles.

Why that was so funny was a combination of the stress, the alcohol, and the fact that a man toting a tray of jelly-shots and speaking of Evil Clowns was lecturing his girlfriend about a kinky t-shirt slogan. Managing to compose herself, Lily picked up an orange shot and said mildly, "I rather like it." Grinning at Sarah, she tossed back the shot.

[nopower_overme]

At Stephen's reaction, tension further melted as Sarah fought the urge not to bust up laughing. Oh, she had not imagined she would get a reaction this good! It certainly helped things more, as the amused look she traded with Lily held far less awkwardness.

"Of course I've heard that, but what does that have to do with my shirt?" she asked, looking down at it before looking up with an expression of put-on wide-eyed innocence as she tried not to laugh, though the glee in her eyes betrayed her. "I have more, should I have worn a different one?" Not that she intended to wear the one she had in mind for real, but she could tease about it, right? Especially as that right now was making this much easier. "I have another cute one, it's got a pink and white logo that reads 'ladies don't spit' across the front." As she said this, she grabbed another jello shot and downed it, waiting.

[estebanmd]

"Some ladies do, if they take snuff --" Stephen began, matter-of-factly, and then the wicked look on Sarah's face drove home what she meant. He had been about to conclude though that is not a ladylike habit, sure. The words died unspoken.

This, this merited the raising of both eyebrows.

He cast an apologetic look to Lily. "She is a forward creature."

[lilypotter60]

Tossing back a blue ERC, Lily proved that, in most circumstances, hilarious things are going to be said in such timing so as milk will shoot out your nose. Or, in this case, just as you partake of a mouthful of blue jelly laced with alcohol. Putting her hand over her mouth and desperately trying to prove the shirt slogan true not choke, she looked from Sarah to Stephen with wide eyes. Then, finally able to breathe again, she turned back to her friend and stared in silence for a moment.

Her expression one of utter amusement, Lily finally picked up a purple jelly-shot and raised it as if in toast. "Good on you, mate," she said, her lips quirked in laughter. Turning then to Stephen, she said soberly, "Indeed. Though she would look lovely in pink." Tossing back the drink, she shared a wicked look with Sarah.