King Cobra! From Snakes. On a Plane.
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
Ssssssssssssss. Ssssss. Sss! Sssssssss.
[I can't say I've ever eaten cheese, on account of being something of a strict carnivore. But I will say that rats which have been fed on Chevrotin des Bauges? Mwah! Positively delectable.]
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
Ssssssssssssssssssss.
[Whichever one gets within reach of my fangs first, naturally.]
3. What time is it where you are?
Ssss.
[Time to bite someone.]
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
Sssssss? Sss? Sssssssssssss? Sss? Ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss.
[Are any of them lovely lady cobras? No? . . . Is a certain FBI agent a member of the Order? No? Then I'm afraid I'm not interested, and cannot be bothered to speculate about what this 'Albus' fellow would prefer.]
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
Ssssssss. Sssssssssssss. Ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss. Sssssssssssssssss. Sssss. Ssssssssssssssssssss. Ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss.
['Snakebite' is a bit cliché, don't you think? Perhaps it could be an Irish pub called O'Hannah's, in honor of my proper name, Ophiophagus hannah. Or perhaps Antivenin? Goodness, I just can't decide.
. . . Or possibly 'Muthafucka', as it seems to be a common human expression and has a certain ring to it, yes? Especially when coming from a certain FBI agent's lips. Mmmm. He is such an . . . angry creature ♥ ♥ ♥]
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
Sssssssssssssssssssssssssss. Sss.
[Well, in Hindu mythology the snake goddess Manasa was fearful indeed when thwarted, and from this I gather that it usually unwise to cross anyone who might take revenge in a vicious way. Thus, Harry ought to marry whichever twin would be most likely to kill his sons and destroy his gardens otherwise.]
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
Ssssssss.
[I haven't the slightest idea, but I'll bite the dastardly culprits when you find them if you wish.]
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
Sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss. Sssssssssss.
[I can lift my body a third of the way off the ground, give off enough venom in one bite to kill thirty people, and recite most of the works of Shakespeare. Antony and Cleopatra is such an underrated masterpiece, don't you think?]
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe.
Sssssssssss. Ssssss. Ssss. Ssssssssssssss.
[I am excellent at taking care of any vermin infestations you might be dealing with. Mice, rats, smaller snakes, small children, gremlins - whatever you like.
In addition, I will be happy to terrorize your adversaries for you. But not on a - oh, all right. If you insist.
On . . . *sigh*
. . . a plane.]
I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. (KC)
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. (KC)
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. (KC)
One day, marmalade will rule the world. (KC)
Ssssssssssssss. Ssssss. Sss! Sssssssss.
[I can't say I've ever eaten cheese, on account of being something of a strict carnivore. But I will say that rats which have been fed on Chevrotin des Bauges? Mwah! Positively delectable.]
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
Ssssssssssssssssssss.
[Whichever one gets within reach of my fangs first, naturally.]
3. What time is it where you are?
Ssss.
[Time to bite someone.]
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
Sssssss? Sss? Sssssssssssss? Sss? Ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss.
[Are any of them lovely lady cobras? No? . . . Is a certain FBI agent a member of the Order? No? Then I'm afraid I'm not interested, and cannot be bothered to speculate about what this 'Albus' fellow would prefer.]
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
Ssssssss. Sssssssssssss. Ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss. Sssssssssssssssss. Sssss. Ssssssssssssssssssss. Ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss.
['Snakebite' is a bit cliché, don't you think? Perhaps it could be an Irish pub called O'Hannah's, in honor of my proper name, Ophiophagus hannah. Or perhaps Antivenin? Goodness, I just can't decide.
. . . Or possibly 'Muthafucka', as it seems to be a common human expression and has a certain ring to it, yes? Especially when coming from a certain FBI agent's lips. Mmmm. He is such an . . . angry creature ♥ ♥ ♥]
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
Sssssssssssssssssssssssssss. Sss.
[Well, in Hindu mythology the snake goddess Manasa was fearful indeed when thwarted, and from this I gather that it usually unwise to cross anyone who might take revenge in a vicious way. Thus, Harry ought to marry whichever twin would be most likely to kill his sons and destroy his gardens otherwise.]
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
Ssssssss.
[I haven't the slightest idea, but I'll bite the dastardly culprits when you find them if you wish.]
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
Sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss. Sssssssssss.
[I can lift my body a third of the way off the ground, give off enough venom in one bite to kill thirty people, and recite most of the works of Shakespeare. Antony and Cleopatra is such an underrated masterpiece, don't you think?]
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe.
Sssssssssss. Ssssss. Ssss. Ssssssssssssss.
[I am excellent at taking care of any vermin infestations you might be dealing with. Mice, rats, smaller snakes, small children, gremlins - whatever you like.
In addition, I will be happy to terrorize your adversaries for you. But not on a - oh, all right. If you insist.
On . . . *sigh*
. . . a plane.]
I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. (KC)
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. (KC)
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. (KC)
One day, marmalade will rule the world. (KC)