"Your attitude does you a great deal of credit," Susan replied, pleased and hoping that his unflappability would withstand the battering it would no doubt receive daily. They left the common room, and she led the way from Ravenclaw tower towards the library.
"The goddess? Her name is Psyche*. Her husband Eros is here too, and he's not very popular at the moment." The corner of her mouth quirked slightly. "Long story, which I can bore you with later, if you're interested. As for Miss Palmer -- the young lady I mentioned earlier -- no, she looks like any ordinary living person. Really sweet girl, very intelligent. And she's not the only, um, post-dead person here. Apparently the afterlife is a dull place."
She thumped on the banister of the staircase, which for reasons of its own, didn't seem interested in letting anyone descend to the next floor. "Come on then," she said, "d'you want us to report you to the Headmistress?" The stair slowly swung into place. "Thank you," she said, and continued on.
* At this point, Susan was unaware that as far as her friends went, her week was going to get significantly worse.
John recognized the path to the library. Apart from his room, it was the only place he knew he could find again.
"Thank you. It's easy to say. I suspect it will be more difficult to do. But I shall persevere. Everything simply comes down to commitment. Regardless of who or what one may be, goddess or man, alive or dead, there are only two creatures of value on the face of this earth: those with a commitment, and those who require the commitment of others. Still, if Miss Palmer looks as anyone else, I'm sure her current status won't be a distraction. And I am quite familiar with the stories of Psyche and Eros. Quite familiar..." Unbeknownst to him, a wistful smile crossed his face.
He and Abigail had often referenced the eternally faithful lovers in their personal correspondence and as he now equated the goddess with his lovely wife, he wasn't sure whether meeting her in person would be an honor or a disappointment. And Eros... Not six weeks prior he had told Jefferson, 'I'm only forty-one, I still have my virility, and I can romp through Cupid's Grove with great agility, but life is more than sexual combustibility.' It was certainly nothing he could share with his current companion, but he suspected he knew the reason why Cupid might not be terribly popular in a school setting.
"If Eros is here, then I'm amazed that any academic work ever gets done at all," he said idly. "Are we headed for the library?" John was impressed with Miss Sto Helit's competent handling of the staircase and he made a mental note to be firm with the furnishings in future.
"Ah, you're familiar with the library then. Good. The next floors down are mostly classrooms, and then the ground floor, with the Great Hall -- not to mention the way out; very important."
They turned a corner. "Eros has done his level best to keep work from getting done," Susan said, a little savagely. "Hopefully he won't be playing any more little pranks like the one he pulled on my second day here -- that was a fine welcome, let me tell you -- but he's one to watch out for. I'm given to understand that his mother was here as well, but she seems to be popcorn now." Too late, Susan realised that she'd dropped another difficult-to-explain Hogwartsian concept in Adams's lap.
((*laughs* I like that movie more than is probably healthy... XD))
"For a place that has so little in the way of academics going on, they surely devote a lot of space to it," observed John as they passed empty classroom after empty classroom.
"I'm sorry to hear that you were targeted by Eros, however. Mythology suggests that can't have been pleasant unless it was particularly desired and it being only your second day here, that seems unlikely."
John glanced at Susan, reading tension in the lines of her shoulders and set jaw. "Popcorn? Do I want to know what that means? I'm assuming you don't mean the Indian grain..."
"It wasn't always like this," she said. "So I'm told, anyway. Even those who went to school here before, like our Head of House, find it very strange." A classroom door shut itself as they passed, but Susan barely noticed.
"No, it was not pleasant being targeted by Eros." More than that would be telling; and she felt no desire to dump that on her new friend (as she'd begun to think of him). "As to the popcorn, I'm afraid that's what I do mean." She sighed; her voice, as she talked, grew increasingly unsteady. "It's another one of those inexplicable ... things. Every now and then, someone gets transformed into a giant popcorn kernel, and they end up getting stored in a room created for the purpose. No one knows why; no one knows how to transform them back; nor does anyone know how or why some come back and don't remember a thing from before." She passed a hand over her forehead and cleared her throat, and when she spoke again, it was in her usual practical tones. "I'm sorry -- I just learned that a friend's wife was recently -- it happened to her. It was something of a shock."
"Oh yes?" asked John interestedly. "Who is our Head of House?"
He carefully avoided talking about Eros further, as he could tell it distressed Miss Sto Helit. He hadn't expected it from the popcorn question, however. People turning into giant kernels of popcorn? Who could have predicted such a thing?
John stopped walking. "Oh, my dear lady! My sincere apologies and condolences on the loss of a friend. I certainly never intended to cause you pain with my question. I fear I can be somewhat relentless at times. Is there any way I can make up for my thoughtlessness?"
Susan found she was genuinely touched by Adams's concern, and she smiled. "It's quite all right -- thank you. It was one of those things you'd have to learn about eventually in any case; the timing, well --" She shrugged. "Be that as it may, thank you. One muddles on, after all."
She paused awkwardly, then, "Shall we continue? As to your earlier question, our head of House is Professor Lupin. I believe he said something about tea at your Sorting?"
Still mortified, John began walking by her side again. He didn't think he could improve matters by saying anything else, so, unusually, he chose to stay silent on that topic.
"That gentleman was our Head of House?" he finally asked, surprised. "I fear I didn't make a very good first impression, then. It is an odd system when one votes without needing to leave one's name or position. It leaves one free from the consequences and responsibilities of the vote."
"I suppose it does," Susan said, mildly surprised that it hadn't occurred to her before.* "Have you a different sort of system where you come from, then? I shouldn't worry too much about Professor Lupin, incidentally; he's a fairly easygoing man, from what I know of him."
* Of course, given the state of democracy in Ankh-Morpork -- one man, one vote: the Patrician being the Man with the Vote -- any voting system at all was somewhat unusual in Susan's experience.
John told himself quite firmly to not overwhelm the poor woman with his enthusiasm for the subject. "We're currently in the process of trying to change the system. America is technically a colony of England, but as Franklin said, we've spawned a new nationality and require a new nation. Our country's resources have been recklessly squandered and her people subjected to unjust cruelties and crushing taxation. Homes are entered without warrant, citizens arrested without charge, and in many places free assembly itself is denied.
"We're at war now with England and if by God's grace we do manage to win, we want to set up a democracy so that we shall never have to submit to the whims of a tyrant again. If all the people have a say in the policies of government, then we can prevent the worst excesses in the rule of the country. But you must forgive me my speeches. This is a subject that I have been thinking, writing, and acting on for most of my life."
Well. This was something new altogether. She started to grasp some understanding of the enthusiasm she'd noticed in Laura, Dib, Abby, and Dawn at Adams's sorting -- she realised that the worlld they'd grown up in owed a great deal to Adams and his fellows.
There was a kind of vastness to the project, and to his passion for it, that made her wonder. Her grandfather, of course, might have observed that nations and men come and go like so many eyeblinks, and he certainly had a point, but on the other hand, she felt this kind of passion, this idealism, was one of the things that both fascinated and annoyed him about humanity in general.
To Adams, she said, "It's quite all right; I admire your devotion to your cause. It's a rare thing to see. Tell me, has such a thing happened in your world before? I've never heard of anything quite like it in my own."
He glanced away for a moment. "Dr. Franklin tells me that I speak of freedom and independence as if they were the rule rather than the exception, but in truth no colony has ever successfully broken from its mother country in the history of the world. It seems an overwhelming task at times, but we cannot continue as we are or we shall surely perish."
John sighed and looked back at Susan. "What is the government like in your home, madam? In fact, I'm not quite sure that I've grasped where that is, though it is certainly none of my business if you don't care to tell me."
Well, he seemed to have a plenty resilient mind, so Susan jumped right in with both feet. "I don't mind talking about it," she said, "although by local standards it's -- well, it's a disc balanced on the backs of four giant elephants, who in turn stand on the shell of the great turtle A'tuin." She smiled. "Everyone seems to find that extremely funny when I tell them about it, and I suppose it is. You'd find our governments old-fashioned, probably; kingdoms and duchies and the like. The biggest city-state, Ankh-Morpork, is governed by the Patrician -- who I expect you'd call a tyrant." She paused. "And, er, actually, I'm a duchess, although it's not something I wave about very much, and anyway the administrators currently in charge in Sto Helit are probably better at running the place than I would be. They enjoy it more, anyway."
John blinked. "I've heard that the East Indians have myths of that sort, though you don't have an East Indian appearance... However, if I can accept that there are goddesses about and people can travel through time, I don't see why I can't accept the existence of such a place. And kingdoms and duchies don't seem old-fashioned to me, the more's the pity. But, please, tell me of your tyrant. Has he taken harsh measures against your people? Has no one attempted to reason with him? Not that we've had much luck reasoning with Fat George, but perhaps yours is not entirely insane."
Adams's reaction to the description of the Disc set Susan's mind at ease; she really did like this fellow, she decided, and gods only knew it was a relief to meet someone else of a straightforward and sensible mind.
She actually had to laugh at the comment about insane tyrants. "Oh, we've had our fair share of insane Patricians. Mad -- excuse me, Psychoneurotic Lord Snapcase, Homicidal Lord Winder, Deranged Lord Harmoni ... The current one, thankfully, is sane. Lord Vetinari is very intelligent and most notable for his skill in playing about fourteen different sides against each other; he's managed to arrange it such that he's more valuable to all the factions and guilds alive rather than dead. I suppose it helps everyone that he actually isn't in it for personal gain; all his satisfaction seems to come from what you might call a job well done." She shrugged. "It doesn't bear thinking about what would happen if -- when -- he's no longer in power, I'm afraid. Which is the obvious flaw in the system that no one talks about."
"Indeed," he agreed. "I'm pleased to hear that you have someone sensible at the moment, but one can only hope that the next is as selfless as this Lord Vetinari appears to be or your Ankh-Morpork will be thrown into utter chaos. That's precisely the sort of thing we're trying to avoid."
John smiled at his companion, glad to have found a well-informed, intelligent, thoughtful, and opinionated friend, even if it was hard to envision an entire nation resting on the back of a giant turtle. With his luck lately, he felt they'd soon discover that all of North America was balanced on the head of a massive buffalo.
"The goddess? Her name is Psyche*. Her husband Eros is here too, and he's not very popular at the moment." The corner of her mouth quirked slightly. "Long story, which I can bore you with later, if you're interested. As for Miss Palmer -- the young lady I mentioned earlier -- no, she looks like any ordinary living person. Really sweet girl, very intelligent. And she's not the only, um, post-dead person here. Apparently the afterlife is a dull place."
She thumped on the banister of the staircase, which for reasons of its own, didn't seem interested in letting anyone descend to the next floor. "Come on then," she said, "d'you want us to report you to the Headmistress?" The stair slowly swung into place. "Thank you," she said, and continued on.
* At this point, Susan was unaware that as far as her friends went, her week was going to get significantly worse.
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"Thank you. It's easy to say. I suspect it will be more difficult to do. But I shall persevere. Everything simply comes down to commitment. Regardless of who or what one may be, goddess or man, alive or dead, there are only two creatures of value on the face of this earth: those with a commitment, and those who require the commitment of others. Still, if Miss Palmer looks as anyone else, I'm sure her current status won't be a distraction. And I am quite familiar with the stories of Psyche and Eros. Quite familiar..." Unbeknownst to him, a wistful smile crossed his face.
He and Abigail had often referenced the eternally faithful lovers in their personal correspondence and as he now equated the goddess with his lovely wife, he wasn't sure whether meeting her in person would be an honor or a disappointment. And Eros... Not six weeks prior he had told Jefferson, 'I'm only forty-one, I still have my virility, and I can romp through Cupid's Grove with great agility, but life is more than sexual combustibility.' It was certainly nothing he could share with his current companion, but he suspected he knew the reason why Cupid might not be terribly popular in a school setting.
"If Eros is here, then I'm amazed that any academic work ever gets done at all," he said idly. "Are we headed for the library?" John was impressed with Miss Sto Helit's competent handling of the staircase and he made a mental note to be firm with the furnishings in future.
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"Ah, you're familiar with the library then. Good. The next floors down are mostly classrooms, and then the ground floor, with the Great Hall -- not to mention the way out; very important."
They turned a corner. "Eros has done his level best to keep work from getting done," Susan said, a little savagely. "Hopefully he won't be playing any more little pranks like the one he pulled on my second day here -- that was a fine welcome, let me tell you -- but he's one to watch out for. I'm given to understand that his mother was here as well, but she seems to be popcorn now." Too late, Susan realised that she'd dropped another difficult-to-explain Hogwartsian concept in Adams's lap.
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"For a place that has so little in the way of academics going on, they surely devote a lot of space to it," observed John as they passed empty classroom after empty classroom.
"I'm sorry to hear that you were targeted by Eros, however. Mythology suggests that can't have been pleasant unless it was particularly desired and it being only your second day here, that seems unlikely."
John glanced at Susan, reading tension in the lines of her shoulders and set jaw. "Popcorn? Do I want to know what that means? I'm assuming you don't mean the Indian grain..."
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"No, it was not pleasant being targeted by Eros." More than that would be telling; and she felt no desire to dump that on her new friend (as she'd begun to think of him). "As to the popcorn, I'm afraid that's what I do mean." She sighed; her voice, as she talked, grew increasingly unsteady. "It's another one of those inexplicable ... things. Every now and then, someone gets transformed into a giant popcorn kernel, and they end up getting stored in a room created for the purpose. No one knows why; no one knows how to transform them back; nor does anyone know how or why some come back and don't remember a thing from before." She passed a hand over her forehead and cleared her throat, and when she spoke again, it was in her usual practical tones. "I'm sorry -- I just learned that a friend's wife was recently -- it happened to her. It was something of a shock."
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He carefully avoided talking about Eros further, as he could tell it distressed Miss Sto Helit. He hadn't expected it from the popcorn question, however. People turning into giant kernels of popcorn? Who could have predicted such a thing?
John stopped walking. "Oh, my dear lady! My sincere apologies and condolences on the loss of a friend. I certainly never intended to cause you pain with my question. I fear I can be somewhat relentless at times. Is there any way I can make up for my thoughtlessness?"
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She paused awkwardly, then, "Shall we continue? As to your earlier question, our head of House is Professor Lupin. I believe he said something about tea at your Sorting?"
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"That gentleman was our Head of House?" he finally asked, surprised. "I fear I didn't make a very good first impression, then. It is an odd system when one votes without needing to leave one's name or position. It leaves one free from the consequences and responsibilities of the vote."
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* Of course, given the state of democracy in Ankh-Morpork -- one man, one vote: the Patrician being the Man with the Vote -- any voting system at all was somewhat unusual in Susan's experience.
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"We're at war now with England and if by God's grace we do manage to win, we want to set up a democracy so that we shall never have to submit to the whims of a tyrant again. If all the people have a say in the policies of government, then we can prevent the worst excesses in the rule of the country. But you must forgive me my speeches. This is a subject that I have been thinking, writing, and acting on for most of my life."
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There was a kind of vastness to the project, and to his passion for it, that made her wonder. Her grandfather, of course, might have observed that nations and men come and go like so many eyeblinks, and he certainly had a point, but on the other hand, she felt this kind of passion, this idealism, was one of the things that both fascinated and annoyed him about humanity in general.
To Adams, she said, "It's quite all right; I admire your devotion to your cause. It's a rare thing to see. Tell me, has such a thing happened in your world before? I've never heard of anything quite like it in my own."
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John sighed and looked back at Susan. "What is the government like in your home, madam? In fact, I'm not quite sure that I've grasped where that is, though it is certainly none of my business if you don't care to tell me."
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She actually had to laugh at the comment about insane tyrants. "Oh, we've had our fair share of insane Patricians. Mad -- excuse me, Psychoneurotic Lord Snapcase, Homicidal Lord Winder, Deranged Lord Harmoni ... The current one, thankfully, is sane. Lord Vetinari is very intelligent and most notable for his skill in playing about fourteen different sides against each other; he's managed to arrange it such that he's more valuable to all the factions and guilds alive rather than dead. I suppose it helps everyone that he actually isn't in it for personal gain; all his satisfaction seems to come from what you might call a job well done." She shrugged. "It doesn't bear thinking about what would happen if -- when -- he's no longer in power, I'm afraid. Which is the obvious flaw in the system that no one talks about."
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John smiled at his companion, glad to have found a well-informed, intelligent, thoughtful, and opinionated friend, even if it was hard to envision an entire nation resting on the back of a giant turtle. With his luck lately, he felt they'd soon discover that all of North America was balanced on the head of a massive buffalo.
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