Setsuna and Kira on Kira's birthday
The place was Setsuna's room, not too far from Kira's in Ravenclaw. No Seto in sight, and apparently the computer geek didn't miss the room's true occupant, Kira, as Seto never came looking for him. Setsuna had wondered absently while drinking with Kira if Seto had even given Kira birthday wishes. He hoped he had. Or did Seto even know about Kira's birthday? Setsuna thought about fixing that, somewhere between the vodka shots and Scotch, just before everything got really hazy.
He was thrilled Kira ended up going to his room, as a night of just them was better than going out to a club throbbing with boisterous people. Instead, it had just been Kira and Setsuna, some drinks, and all too eager to please house elves. Not to mention the cake - currently just a remaining lump of velvet soft whipped frosting and perfectly moist bread sitting on Setsuna's nightstand.
Still in a plain navy blue shirt and black jeans, Setsuna had passed out on the bed. Dense eyelashes kissed his cheeks before Setsuna could even touch the malt whiskey, and now he lay on his side, breathing even, sheets slightly rumpled around him, knees curled up and hands limp over the side of the bed. Even in the dim light, with the room's light extinguished and ethereal light reflecting off the moon and filtering a slither over Setsuna's form, his slight angelic smile was still visible and obvious. Even if it wasn't his birthday party, he was still pleased with it.
While Kira missed the smoke and noise of clubs and bars slightly, he wasn't unhappy. He liked being alone with Setsuna; it gave him the (false, he knew) feeling that Setsuna was his to possess and guard over. When Setsuna first passed out, Kira sat on the foot of his bed but stayed awake and kept drinking alone for a little bit. It took a lot to get Kira hammered, and since hammered was what he wanted to be, he promised himself he wouldn't stop hitting the malt whiskey until he was.
The whiskey half-gone, his vision finally beginning to blur dramatically, Kira looked from the window -- the moon outside was dim but visible -- to Setsuna. Whatever small amount of light the moon and the dim light of the room were giving off all seem to have fallen on him and, Kira couldn't help thinking, in that case, they had certainly chosen the best possible place to fall. Smiling a little, a crooked, odd smile, he set the whiskey down and spread out on the bed, looking over Setsuna's body.
Kira rest with his chin in one hand. He was a bit drunk, he knew, but not so drunk he couldn't just lie here and watch Setsuna. He watched Setsuna a lot when Setsuna slept. He wasn't sure if it was because Setsuna was pretty, or because he felt that Setsuna needed a guard dog of sorts in such a vulnerable position, but it didn't matter. All that mattered was that Setsuna was here, and happy, and Kira was with him, and that was all Kira really cared about. He wanted to trace the outline of Setsuna's smile with a finger, but fought back the urge.
Blissfully unaware of Kira's mistaken possessiveness, or of his temptation to touch, Setsuna slept on, but with Kira leaning in so close, the weight shifted just a bit whenever he moved. The slight motion caused Setsuna's world to tilt, as though everything was located in his head, and his head was spinning on a merry-go-round, even while laying down.
Soft and torn between a sound of sleep and of pain, there was a moan from Setsuna as he turned, slightly on his back and his eyes opened a little, revealing feverish brown, shimmering in the light.
His smile switched to amused as Setsuna, voice thick with liquor and exhaustion, asked, "Senpai. Why you looking at me like that?" His speech slurred, just a bit, and Setsuna tried to get it under better control. "You must really be soused if you're confusing me for one of your girls."
A light laugh was added onto the end, letting Kira know Setsuna was just jesting with him.
Kira wasn't sure how to react. He was a lot drunker than he realized he was, but even intoxicated, he knew that this was a highly inappropriate thing to be caught doing. His illusions of protection and possessiveness shattered when Setsuna spoke, and he was back in the real world again -- laying drunk in his best friend's dorm room, caught staring at another, sleeping guy. His own eyes went slightly wide and his mouth hung open, but he didn't say anything.
Setsuna's laugh was reassuring, but it didn't help Kira think of something to say.
After nearly a full minute, he looked away, still without speaking. He didn't want to scare Setsuna or give him the wrong idea, but he also knew he couldn't blame the booze. Well, at least not entirely the booze. "Yeah. Real shoushed," Kira told the wall, running a hand through his mop of dark hair. It seemed like the best thing to say at the moment. It wasn't like he'd never lied to Setsuna before, anyway. One more lie wouldn't hurt.
"Real 'uckin' shoushed. Can't shleep."
"Yeah, I don't think you fuck sheep," Setsuna mumbled, giggling as he did. A slender hand snaked up, then just flopped right back down. "At least, I hope you wouldn't." More giggles, then Setsuna just stared up at Kira for a moment, face bright, glowing in the pale light, full of glee.
It was a good thing Setsuna was easily a happy drunk, for if he was a sad drunk - in which all of his sorrows over took him - he might have been sobbing, thinking of his sister, or his...parents. But instead, Kira had to deal with this - someone who couldn't keep Kira's sentence straight, or got it perfectly, then twisted it for his own purposes, and couldn't stop laughing at it.
That suited Kira fine. Relieved that Setsuna wasn't going to press the issue of why Kira had been staring, he turned to face the younger boy, gently fingering one of Setsuna's golden bangs. "Jou're drunk," he told Setsuna. "So lie down and go shleep, okay? You need it." Kira was smiling a little now -- a slight wisp of a smile. The look in his eyes betrayed some hidden, tender affection.
Even as intoxicated as he was, Setsuna didn't miss that look. It was a rare one from Kira, something only seen when Kira was really concerned about him, but he his smile became gentle at first sign of tenderness. The giggles died down as Setsuna shook his head - then regretted it. His brain felt like it was the noise maker in a rattle, and currently his head was the rattle, being shaken in an overenthusiastic mother's hand.
"I'm not a sheep, Kira," Setsuna insisted, still not properly inserting the word sleep into what Kira said.
Honey golden strands were strewn across his eyes now, glazed as they were, and his hand tried to lift again. "Besides, I think you're a liar. You lie a lot, don't you? It's how you keep distant from people. Are you gonna do that to me forever? Keep me away from you, even though you obviously missed me, and we're supposed to be really close friends?"
It was an odd topic to touch on, so leave it to Setsuna to only bring it up when so drunk the room spun around him, and he had to constantly concentrate on every word to form it as best as he could. Never mind he was speaking in Japanese, because English right now would be impossible. Setsuna had always known Kira was distant from people, but he had always wondered if he was other people...or if, maybe - with all hope - he was something a bit more special.
That hand finally managed to lift and grasp at Kira's shirt, not in the threatening manner it did normally with other people, but more in a possessive, clingy way.
Kira let Setsuna grab him, lowering his face until he was almost nose-to-nose with Setsuna and could smell the alcohol on the other boy's breath. "Always shooting your mouth off," Kira said in English. He purposefully bumped noses a little. "Could never keep anything to yourself. You always tell everyone your opinions." He smirked, but the smirk twisted into an affectionate smile before long.
Kira gently brushed Setsuna's chin with a hand while saying, this time in Japanese, "I admire that honesty, you know. It's charming." He sighed and continued in Japanese, "Liars are always attracted to honesty in other people, you know." He was so drunk, he wasn't quite sure what he was trying to say. "I only keep you away because it's safer than way."
"Safer...why?" Setsuna asked, hand not leaving, and now he reached up, just enough to rub his nose against Kira's in return. "That's what I don't get. What are you so afraid of?"
Setsuna had theories from time to time, but never felt any of them were it. He wanted to hear the reasoning from Kira himself.
"And you know, Kira," the word senpai was suddenly lost from the conversation, "I don't mind a little danger. I think it would be worth it." The smile slipped, just a tinge, into a smirk, eyes alight with mischief. "At least, I think you're worth getting close to, that nothing could scare me away." And like everything Setsuna said when he wasn't just teasing, his words were pure sincerity.
Kira grabbed Setsuna's hand with his own, rubbing Setsuna's knuckles. "You would say that," he told Setsuna, smiling. "You like danger, don't you? You always did. Dangerous boys... have always held a certain appeal to you. This is so you." He rubbed his nose against Setsuna's in return.
Thrown off by that - Kira talking as though he had known Setsuna longer than possible, and boys; huh? - Setsuna's smile dropped off his face completely, and was replaced by a small o of confusion. "W-what do you mean, Kira? You're being weird. Not that you aren't at times, but more than usual...."
Setsuna couldn't recall going out of his way to get know any other dangerous boys before. Or much of anyone, really. He just knew them, or didn't; it was a struggle, like he felt it would be with Kira. What was Kira talking about? Or was it the alcohol making everything too fuzzy to comprehend?
"Kira, ya know something I don't?" Setsuna ventured to ask, face still close to Kira's, and he didn't bother to move his.
"No," Kira said. "I thought I did, but now, I'm not so sure anymore..." It was odd how, at times, Kira looked at Setsuna and saw Alexiel. Odder still, though, was how he looked at Setsuna sometimes and saw only Setsuna, as though Alexiel had never existed at all.
A lazy smile followed as Setsuna's head rolled back a little, face full of relief. "Okay," came a once again gleeful voice, "just checking. I thought maybe I had done some stupid things while drunk, and you just sat back and watched, then never shared the stories with me. You scared me for a moment."
Brown eyes were on Kira again, Setsuna's head slightly tilted as he viewed him through half-lidded eyes, and there was a chuckle at the end of Setsuna's words.
Kira pulled Setsuna close, clumsily trying to hug him. "You smell good," he said. In truth, Setsuna smelled like alcohol, but on Setsuna, Kira thought, somehow that smell really was good. Kira's eyes closed for a few seconds.
"Ack...typical," Setsuna muttered, "you're changing the topic." He didn't fight the hug though, and even tried to snuggle Kira in return, since his arms couldn't get around Kira properly, squashed between the two boys.
"Mmmm.... Kira, you sure this is how you want to spend your birthday? Sleeping in one of your best friends' beds, curled up with a guy?" Setsuna couldn't help it - he just had to ask, and give a bright grin to the other as he did.
"Yes," Kira said, and for once, he wasn't lying. He was smiling a tiny, almost wry little smile, but his words were sincere (though spoken with his typical amused edge) as he repeated himself: "Yes, this is exactly how I wanted to spend it. With you. Misshed you lots, you know." Kira's eyes were open now, glittering in the moonlight.
Discomfort crossed Setsuna's face at hearing this admission from Kira. "I...." He wanted to apologize, but stopped himself, remembering it was hardly his fault, especially considering everything he did just to get out of the military school.
Instead, Setsuna ended up saying, "Is that why you ended up depressed? I didn't think you'd ever be attached to me like that." Setsuna's voice shifted to a softer tone as he added, "I missed you too. And Sara." Setsuna's eyes seemed to stare off into nothing for a moment as he added, "I thought about you both everyday."
His throat tightened at finally talking about Sara again, and Setsuna's eyes refocused strongly on Kira's, as though Setsuna was using the concentration to keep himself from getting too emotional over it. "It...I felt like I wasn't a whole person without you guys. I still feel kinda weird without her, but a bit better since I found you."
Kira nodded, understanding. He understood the depth of Setsuna's feelings for Sara, the way they needed each other. But first and most importantly, he had to assuage Setsuna's fears about causing his depression. "A little, I guess," he said. "But mostly, I was just being pathetic. I guess I am pathetic, you know?" A shell of his former glory. Pathetic.
"I miss Sara too," he murmured, and was surprised to realize that he did. Not nearly as much as he'd missed Setsuna, to be sure, but nobody at Hogwarts ever turned down his advances with violence. It just wasn't the same.
Setsuna managed to free one hand, and it flew, but his strength wasn't quite into punch, not that it was intended to hurt anyway. The fist's target was Kira's arm, where it thudded against Kira's shirt covered muscle, then rested.
"Stop calling yourself pathetic. Maybe you were being it, but I'm sick of hearing it already. You're not pathetic to me," Setsuna told him, voice wavering just for a bit, and full of warning. He wasn't going to tolerate Kira further bad-mouthing himself. It was...strange.
A quivering smile then passed over Setsuna's lips. "You miss her too.... Heh. Well, that's why we need to work on getting money so we can go back to Tokyo. And," a deep breath, "I'm kinda glad you missed me. Not that I wanted you to suffer, but it means we're close, right? That's not like you, letting anyone in. Does that mean I'm special or something?"
Kira's chest ached. He didn't want to upset Setsuna, but he felt pathetic, and he didn't know what else to call himself anymore. It seemed to be the only adjective that fit. But all he said was, "Okay," and smiled a little. He wanted to make Setsuna happy and not seem too weird, even he was stupendously drunk.
"Yeah. Get money. Yeah." Kira listened to Setsuna speak for a while, and this time, he was the one who aimed a light smack at the other boy's arm. "Special! You dumbass. You've always been special."
"Hey!" Setsuna mock-cried out, just for the sake of letting Kira know he got the point. Setsuna's smile didn't last much longer - it dropped as Setsuna switched to sincere and explained, "It's just that...I noticed you push everyone away, and keep everyone at a distance. I was pretty sure you probably lie to me about some things but I was," here there was a shifting of eyes, they focused on Kira's shirt, unable to stay on his eyes, "kinda wondering when it was my turn to get shoved away, out of your life. You even keep your old man in the dark, and refuse to let him in."
"For 'is own good," Kira said gruffly. He really had come to love his father, but he and Sakuya's spirit had made a promise. Kira couldn't go back on that promise now. "...And I came all the way here just to find you, you know."
Brown eyes looked back up again as Setsuna said, plainly, "I know you did. I...." He trailed off with uncertainty on how to continue.
Setsuna had already said his feelings on the matter, and one of his fears and doubts where Kira was concerned - no point repeating himself. For some reason, he felt there was a lack of answers. Making Kira talk was not a talent anyone possessed, though, not even Setsuna.
"I don't suppose you're smashed up on enough alcohol to tell me what makes me so special, are you?"
"Nope," said Kira, with a mysterious little smirk. That was his secret. And he knew Setsuna either wouldn't believe him or would freak out, neither of which he much liked the idea of.
An audible sigh, then, "Too bad I'm not a girl. Least then I could pout at you and get away with it." Setsuna momentarily considered pouting at Kira anyway, but then thought better of it.
"Drink some more?" was asked with a broad, hopeful grin.
"Okay," said Kira cheerfully. "...Where'sa bottle?" He blinked in momentary confusion.
Setsuna shook his head, unwilling to move from his spot. "How should I know? I'm the one that passed out, remember?"
He waited a bit, then just tugged at Kira's shirt, trying to pull him down as Setsuna said in a off-handed tone, "Aw, forget about it. It's not a huge deal, senpai."
"I want to drink more!" Kira persisted, trying to tug away from Setsuna. He was laughing a little. "Aha!" he said, as he retrieved the bottle of whiskey from where he'd set it on the floor. "A toast!"
"A toast to...." Setsuna's mind came up blank, too hazy from alcohol, and slightly scattered by his thoughts of Kira. The smile was gone, replaced by a more concerned, unsure expression, lips turned down, mouth tight, eyebrows meeting together and also slipping down at the edges.
"Senpai...." Setsuna started, his tone saying there was a question at hand, but it tapered off. There was no guarantee Kira would talk anyway - Setsuna had seen wasted before, on drugs and alcohol, and he still seemed in perfect control over what information he spilled. Not how he said it, or his speech...but the words that came out always seemed carefully screened, as though Kira wasn't really intoxicated. It was unnerving, and made Setsuna wonder how that was even possible.
"Yeah, a toast to senpai, for another year," Setsuna finally finished, even though the two sentences had nothing to do with each other in the beginning.
Kira nodded. He had absolutely no intention of telling Setsuna anything, but it couldn't hurt to let Setsuna know he was important to Kira, even if the why was going to remain unsaid no matter how intoxicated Kira became. "Another year!" he agreed, and chugged.
"Yeah, to another year of senpai being a useless, jerky delinquent," Setsuna added with a playful smile, then he trailed off as the words, "...that reads...." followed. Sure, they were trouble-makers, but to stay in their prestigious school, they did have to maintain their grades.
"You know," Setsuna's tone shifted yet again as he tried to pull Kira down again, knowing he was just going to drain that bottle dry other wise, "I wouldn't want to spend this night any other way either. Even if it is just us. I think, once in a while, just us is kinda nice."
Kira laughed hard at that. He wasn't sure why it was so hilarious, but it was. Maybe it was the alcohol; maybe it was just Setsuna's characteristic honesty. Either way, it made Kira howl like a loon. The demon allowed himself to be pulled down, looking rather content. "Yeah. Once in a while," he agreed.
"This is a good birthday," he added, as though he'd been waiting a while to make a decision in that regard but had, just now, decided that this was, in fact, one of the best birthdays he'd had.