Muninn to Stephen, heavily warded

[nopower_overme]

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[nopower_overme]

While she feared this had the possibility of being the biggest mistake she had ever made, Sarah had still asked the house elf to show her where Stephen's quarters were and she was now in front of the door, pacing restlessly. If she pressed him by being there, he would either cast her aside (and part of her wanted to know why, even now, she still had so little faith to believe he would) or it would turn out it had been the right thing to do, even if the way to that was filled with more worry. The staying away option was not an option for her, as she felt she had this once chance that she would not days from now. She knew he liked to keep everything to himself, but that did not always mean it was how things went with them. Her energy at the moment was focused on getting herself under control and having the strength to deal with whatever was on the other side of that door (and not think about this domain she was entering). While she could guess, she had to see what state he was really in and if there was anything she could or should be

[estebanmd]

The sound of cursing and then of several locks being undone; Stephen opened the door, pale, unshaven, wearing rumpled clothes he had clearly slept in at some point.

[nopower_overme]

Sarah took it all in, controlling herself from making a ridiculous move like hugging him tightly to her. She could not imagine physical affection would be something he wanted, not when he had just lost his wife. As much as it panicked here to the core to admit, it was like losing someone to a vegetative state - there were no guarantees the person could pull through, and if they did they were often irrevocably changed and there was little to no chance they would awake exactly the same. Only in this case, there was no 'end,' so should this now be treated like... she could not even bring herself to think it.

What a sick, awful thing this popcorn curse was.

"While I realize I've now seen you, may I still come in?" she asked quietly when she finally thought of something to say.

[estebanmd]

Stephen bit back the initial answer (if you must) and wordlessly stepped aside, allowing her passage. The interior was dim, cluttered yet without a sense of being lived-in, the rooms having stood vacant between River's move to the hospital wing and the news of her metamorphosis. He waited for Sarah to enter the room, then locked and warded the door behind her, out of habit.

[nopower_overme]

The interior did not tell much to Sarah right now, as her focus was on Stephen. The lack of a 'no' had been promising (yet again that voice telling her to stop doubt that aspect of all of this) but not in nay way she could feel relief at, just not an increase in anxiety. His clothes looked slept in, but that was no indication of actual sleep. She found herself, oddly, checking him for crumbs in hopes he had eaten some food lately. 'Don't do it, don't ask, don't fuss at him.' Unlike the last time, she was not at all certain she could cajole him into eating. Nor was it completely about the eating, as it was also about the need to do something useful for him.

"I know you don't want me here," she offered softly and then sighed, "but I couldn't stand to sit by with you dealing with all of this. I guess that makes it more about me then about you as you told me this was not a good idea, but... I'm here now, so it's done. Ignore me, be angry with me... whatever you want."

[estebanmd]

What could he say? Stephen did not make a habit of unfolding his private emotions to even his closest friends, really. Did she want him to weep? to rant? to fling himself into her arms and declare her presence a sovereign cure for grief? "The fact that I have nothing to say should not be taken as a choice actively to ignore you."

[nopower_overme]

What Sarah wanted most was just to be there, the actual activity he chose was not really an expectation she had. There were ones she did not expect to see, but nothing she wanted other than to be there for the moment. "Then I won't take it like that," she said, taken two steps toward him. At least what he said continued to not be a rejection. "I'm just..." Glad was hardly appropriate here, and there was no other word that fit. "Thank you for letting me in."

[estebanmd]

"Grief is not a lesson one can learn, master, and put behind oneself," Stephen said, at last, awkwardly. "I was married before ever I came here, you know? to a very fine woman, and we had a daughter together. She died untimely, Diana did. When I found that the dead sometimes turned up here, alive ..." The sentence trailed off. "Well, River would have killed her again, more like than not, and God only knows what I would have done then." Shaking off the tangent: "What I mean to say is that I have suffered this before; and yet it is no easier than it was before; and I am not likely to be civil company any time soon, my dear."

While Sarah had known about his daughter from the drunken radio broadcast of Stephen and Ryuuji's, the rest she had not. Her anxious expression softened a bit - even as she was reeling and in prime state for a bug-eyed look - and she covered the rest of the steps between them, still out of his immediate personal space but now at least in front of him. That he had even attempted to explain, even though the

[nopower_overme]

"Have you any demands, dear heart? Should I call for toast?" There was no edge to the words; it might almost have been teasing, if he were not so drained