Special Agent Dale Cooper reporting for duty.
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
I enjoy a good sharp cheddar.
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
They can't be killed. They're already dead. Wrapped in plastic.
3. What time is it where you are?
There aren't any clocks here in the Black Lodge.
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
Sexual harassment is no joking matter!
5. If you are pushing to be in:
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
Harry can't be married. He has to fulfill the hieros gamos with Professor MacGonagall in order to save the known world. After that, he can canoodle with Fred and George as much as he likes.
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
I had a dream about this. Your desk is possessed.
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe.
I can offer you a slice of cherry pie and a damn fine cup of coffee.
I enjoy a good sharp cheddar.
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
They can't be killed. They're already dead. Wrapped in plastic.
3. What time is it where you are?
There aren't any clocks here in the Black Lodge.
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
Sexual harassment is no joking matter!
5. If you are pushing to be in:
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
Harry can't be married. He has to fulfill the hieros gamos with Professor MacGonagall in order to save the known world. After that, he can canoodle with Fred and George as much as he likes.
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
I had a dream about this. Your desk is possessed.
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe.
I can offer you a slice of cherry pie and a damn fine cup of coffee.