Hmf. Well, I'm sorry if I occasionally like a bit of boring cheese; I could have answered Gruyere or Cetagandan beaver cheese, but I couldn't see the point of lying to get into this tangled ball of mayhem and ... chaos ... er ...
...you haven't seen my cousin around here somewhere, have you? Rather small of stature, talks about three hundred klicks a minute, probably mixed up in the middle of all the insanity that's going on 'round here?
You obviously haven't met my cousin Miles. He's drawn to chaotic situations like a moth to a flame ... or more like an anti-neutrino bomb in a black hole's gravity well, only more spectacular. It must violate about three different universal laws for there to be a hairball like this place anywhere in the universe without Mad Miles Vorkosigan somewhere nearby...
Hello, there; I'm Death. You're rather down-to-earth (so to speak) for an emperor, and I've known quite a few in my time. Actually, I've known 'em all. My favorite was Norton I of the United States of America.
Anyway, here's a question: what do you think a life well lived comprises?
Hm. That, milady, is a tough one. The biggest part by far of a life well lived, I think, has got to be making other people's lives better. That's the part of power that a lot of people just don't seem to get.
You say you've met a lot of emperors? I'll bet that not one in ten gave a damn about the people under their care. Maybe that's an advantage of a hereditary monarchy; at least it doesn't self-select for sociopaths. Although my father...
...no, I probably shouldn't go there. But then, if you're really Death, you've met my father. I won't ask what you thought of him; better I don't know, considering what I do know about him.
Excellent answer. And, certainly, without giving any specifics, I'll say you're very right about many other rulers. Now, one last question before I vote: What's something totally silly and/or stupid that you think you shouldn't enjoy, but really do?
I'm ashamed to say it, but that's an easy one: I can't help but enjoy watching my cousin Ivan Vorpatril trying to work his way out of some mess he's gotten himself into.
Oh, yeah, I've been told about you. If Simon Illyan knew I was this close to a six-legged flesh-and-blood chainsaw, he'd have a heart attack.
Gregor skritches the treecat's belly.As of now, the Barrayaran Empire consists of Barrayar, Sergyar, and Komarr. Barrayar's my home; it's sometimes a little backward (okay, sometimes a LOT backward), but my heart's always there. Sergyar's a world that we just opened up to colonization; Uncle Aral and Aunt Cordelia are in charge there, now, as Viceroy and Vicereine. Komarr ... well, Komarr's a long story
( ... )
Vote: Gryffindornimitz_da_catMay 26 2006, 03:14:45 UTC
Nimitz has, in fact, completely blissed out and is purring like a well-maintained little motor. He gets up long enough to drape himself over the emperor's lap.
"I like you. I like you very much," he sighs. "I want you in my House. Gryffindor. And if anyone tries to hurt you, that Simon guy won't need to do a thing if I'm there first."
You’ve governed three planets with no civil war? That’s an admirable accomplishment indeed, assuming you really have managed it through diplomacy, and not force.
*extends hand* Peter Wiggn. I’m also…involved in politics. Where do you think you should be sorted, if not Slytherin?
If I remember right, Gryffindor's where the would-be heroes go; I've given out a lot of honors for heroism. Mostly to widows and orphaned children. So, while I can appreciate heroes, I think I'd rather not be one of them.
As for Ravenclaw, I'd like to flatter myself that I'd be quick-witted enough to survive there, but one thing I've learned is to always be aware of my limitations. Maybe my cousin Miles would fit in there.
So, I guess that leaves House Hufflepuff ... which is okay by me. Sort of suits my philosophy of governance anyway. (And someone who enjoys my job is probably the wrong person for the job anyway.)
I'll admit that there's been a lot of unrest on Komarr over the years since we conquered them, but during my reign we've never had to resort to armed force to keep it from boiling over. Of course, that's due to three parts diplomacy and about seventeen parts pure luck, but sometimes you just have to be grateful for the breaks the universe grants you.
*Peter laughs* Very true. I must admit, I’m not particularly fond of Imperial governments, but from what you’ve said, you seem like the right kind of man to be en Emperor, if there must be one. I’d be happy to sort you into Hufflepuff, though I must warn you: The houses…they don’t break down the way they used to, precisely. From what I gather, Hufflepuff it’s rather the home of our resident psychopaths.
Resident ... psychopaths? Oh, boy. My references are even more out of date than I thought. I'd probably be better off taking my chances in Ravenclaw, in that case; I may carp and whine about my bodyguards, but I don't *really* want to make their job impossible to do.
And I know there are forms of government that work just as well or better than Imperial monarchies, but I have to say, I'm not sure Barrayar is ready to embrace them just yet. It's been too soon since the Time of Isolation and the Cetagandan invasion, and there are still places in the wilds where a dispute over a stolen chicken might turn into a guerilla war.
:: screened for the Emperor and the Doctor ::estebanmdMay 26 2006, 20:38:26 UTC
You seem rather more sane and reasonable than the other emperors we have had here thus far. I would not require a bribe in order to vote for you, but since you have offered: might you have, among your surplus of imperial finery, anything like this?
Re: :: screened for the Emperor and the Doctor ::emperor_gregMay 26 2006, 22:10:43 UTC
I think I saw something like that in a drawer in the Palace once, a long time ago. If you can arrange a comconsole link to the city of Vorbarr Sultana, I can put the official Imperial Palace Rummager on the case. (He's actually the executive officer of the second-shift guards, but he has a nose for things that have misplaced themselves in couches and the like.)
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...you haven't seen my cousin around here somewhere, have you? Rather small of stature, talks about three hundred klicks a minute, probably mixed up in the middle of all the insanity that's going on 'round here?
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Maybe not even then.
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Hello, there; I'm Death. You're rather down-to-earth (so to speak) for an emperor, and I've known quite a few in my time. Actually, I've known 'em all. My favorite was Norton I of the United States of America.
Anyway, here's a question: what do you think a life well lived comprises?
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You say you've met a lot of emperors? I'll bet that not one in ten gave a damn about the people under their care. Maybe that's an advantage of a hereditary monarchy; at least it doesn't self-select for sociopaths. Although my father...
...no, I probably shouldn't go there. But then, if you're really Death, you've met my father. I won't ask what you thought of him; better I don't know, considering what I do know about him.
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Gregor skritches the treecat's belly.As of now, the Barrayaran Empire consists of Barrayar, Sergyar, and Komarr. Barrayar's my home; it's sometimes a little backward (okay, sometimes a LOT backward), but my heart's always there. Sergyar's a world that we just opened up to colonization; Uncle Aral and Aunt Cordelia are in charge there, now, as Viceroy and Vicereine. Komarr ... well, Komarr's a long story ( ... )
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"I like you. I like you very much," he sighs. "I want you in my House. Gryffindor. And if anyone tries to hurt you, that Simon guy won't need to do a thing if I'm there first."
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*extends hand* Peter Wiggn. I’m also…involved in politics. Where do you think you should be sorted, if not Slytherin?
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If I remember right, Gryffindor's where the would-be heroes go; I've given out a lot of honors for heroism. Mostly to widows and orphaned children. So, while I can appreciate heroes, I think I'd rather not be one of them.
As for Ravenclaw, I'd like to flatter myself that I'd be quick-witted enough to survive there, but one thing I've learned is to always be aware of my limitations. Maybe my cousin Miles would fit in there.
So, I guess that leaves House Hufflepuff ... which is okay by me. Sort of suits my philosophy of governance anyway. (And someone who enjoys my job is probably the wrong person for the job anyway.)
I'll admit that there's been a lot of unrest on Komarr over the years since we conquered them, but during my reign we've never had to resort to armed force to keep it from boiling over. Of course, that's due to three parts diplomacy and about seventeen parts pure luck, but sometimes you just have to be grateful for the breaks the universe grants you.
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And I know there are forms of government that work just as well or better than Imperial monarchies, but I have to say, I'm not sure Barrayar is ready to embrace them just yet. It's been too soon since the Time of Isolation and the Cetagandan invasion, and there are still places in the wilds where a dispute over a stolen chicken might turn into a guerilla war.
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(( Official Palace Rummager! *dies* ))
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