Application for Emmeline Grangerford (Huckleberry Finn)
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
I like the paler sorts of cheddar. The color reminds me of the full moon just after moonrise, and that's when all the most interesting and tragic things happen. At least in books.
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
I'd rather not kill anyone. If Carrottop had any kin living nearby, I would kill Barney instead, because we really don't need another feud. Then I'd write a poem about the tragic demise of the Last of the Great Purple Lizards. It would make an interesting challenge, since I've mostly written about humans up to now.
3. What time is it where you are?
Time for me to finish this funeral tribute! You would not believe how hard it is to find solemn and poetic rhymes for "Whistler."
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
I hope I am too much of a lady to harass anyone, but Mr. Black is certainly intriguing. So dashing, yet not without the slightest touch of melancholy...
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
Crossing: the Bar.
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
Well, in stories, the contestants for the hand of the fair maiden generally have to complete some sort of difficult task or quest in order to prove their worthiness. I suppose that Harry could do that, if he can't make up his mind any other way. He shouldn't make the test too dangerous, because if he does, then it's likely that he'll realize that he's loved one of the twins all along just before that twin gets himself killed. While that would make an excellent subject for a long narrative poem, I don't think it would be very pleasant to live through.
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
Has there been a steamboat accident or something like that lately? Those always give me a lot of work.
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
I can write poetry on a variety of subjects, and draw, and play the piano a little, and I make a pretty good cup of coffee.
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
If any of you feel that your lives and deeds have been insufficiently celebrated by the bards of your own time and place, I will do my best to remedy that by writing a tribute on anything you wish. I also have a spare copy of "The Castle of Otranto," if anyone is interested.
I like the paler sorts of cheddar. The color reminds me of the full moon just after moonrise, and that's when all the most interesting and tragic things happen. At least in books.
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
I'd rather not kill anyone. If Carrottop had any kin living nearby, I would kill Barney instead, because we really don't need another feud. Then I'd write a poem about the tragic demise of the Last of the Great Purple Lizards. It would make an interesting challenge, since I've mostly written about humans up to now.
3. What time is it where you are?
Time for me to finish this funeral tribute! You would not believe how hard it is to find solemn and poetic rhymes for "Whistler."
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
I hope I am too much of a lady to harass anyone, but Mr. Black is certainly intriguing. So dashing, yet not without the slightest touch of melancholy...
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
Crossing: the Bar.
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
Well, in stories, the contestants for the hand of the fair maiden generally have to complete some sort of difficult task or quest in order to prove their worthiness. I suppose that Harry could do that, if he can't make up his mind any other way. He shouldn't make the test too dangerous, because if he does, then it's likely that he'll realize that he's loved one of the twins all along just before that twin gets himself killed. While that would make an excellent subject for a long narrative poem, I don't think it would be very pleasant to live through.
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
Has there been a steamboat accident or something like that lately? Those always give me a lot of work.
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
I can write poetry on a variety of subjects, and draw, and play the piano a little, and I make a pretty good cup of coffee.
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
If any of you feel that your lives and deeds have been insufficiently celebrated by the bards of your own time and place, I will do my best to remedy that by writing a tribute on anything you wish. I also have a spare copy of "The Castle of Otranto," if anyone is interested.