Application: Third Doctor (Doctor Who)
A blue box gradually appeared, harked by its eerie, otherworldly klaxon… albeit one that wasn’t working as smoothly as it should have, by the sound of it. It flickered as if reluctant to solidify into existence, and the settled on visibility with a violent blink. Even it’s sound shut off rapidly, and there was an ominous bang from the inside. A moment after the door opened and a man exited, bringing with him a puff of smoke. He coughed discreetly and brushed his plum velvet coat and black cape with a brilliant purple satin lining somewhat indignantly, before looking around himself.
“Well, it’s not where I left at least… but where is it then…” he muttered to himself.
It looked like Earth, possibly even England, though not the time period he’d just left (and that was the first time in a while, he had to be getting better at this fixing business)… and yet not quite right. He gave a wide berth to a particularly unpleasant looking hat, and instead went to inspect a table, which seemed to be empty, but perhaps-- the Doctor’s eyebrows rose as a piece of paper and a quill shimmered into existence on the table. Now this was certainly not technology from any of humanity’s older periods. And a school of magic? Probably another embarrassing ploy from the Master, he really had to stop dabbling with this sort of thing. But for now, he might as well go with it.
State your full name.
“Really? I don’t think you could even write it.” he said, and looked on curiously as the quill flew up and scribbled the words on the parchment of it’s own accord. Interesting, he’d have to inspect it closer later. “The Doctor will suffice quite well though...“ he muttered absently, eyes glued onto the device moving over the paper.
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
The Doctor’s gaze grew distant and thoughtful. “You know, I think that rather depends on the place and… yes, time. One should always sample local cuisine in situ. Also depends on what sort wine one is able to obtain.” His expression soured. “Lately, I haven’t been as free to travel as I’d like, and the people I work with, what do they know of fine dining… but be that as it may, a while ago I was able to to obtain a piece of passable Beeleigh Blue to go with a rather lovely Pinot Noir I received as a gift during a previous regeneration.”
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
He snorted at the question. “Kill? Why, you’re just like my current employers at the UNIT, always thinking the first solution is to kill… or better yet, blow it all up to high heavens! Typical military. Indeed, I’m sure I’d come up with a better solutions of dealing with these persons, given some actual information about them.”
3. What time is it where you are?
For a moment, the Doctor stared at the parchment with suspiciously narrowed eyes. Was this… was whoever had fashioned this ridiculous set of questions trying to mock his… slightly impaired senses? Eventually he simply straightened up and answered, in a decidedly stiff tone. “Seems to be early afternoon, as far as I can tell.”
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
The Doctor rolled his eyes. What sort of staff or students could this “school” possibly be looking for? “None of them, I should think. It’s a thoroughly barbaric and distasteful thing to do,” he snapped.
5. If you are pushing to be in:
“I’m not even sure I want anything to do with this institution…” the Doctor muttered irritably.
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
Bar? Ha. “Bartending, I assure you, is a thorough waste of my skills,” the Doctor told the parchment drily.
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
He sighed. “I really don’t see how this is relevant to anyone but these individuals, who I’m not the least bit familiar with...”
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
This, at least, he knew how to answer.
“Perhaps you should aim to get beyond the sort of petty bureaucracy that tends to engender paperwork. I’ve found that has worked splendidly for me.”
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
Again, the Doctor was not very impressed by the question. He looked around himself again, but the surroundings remained empty. Nevetheless, he aimed his reply at the empty space rather than the piece of paper, speaking confidently, as if daring anyone to contradict him.
“As you come to know me, you will find I can be very useful indeed… should I choose to be. And I might warn you, I can also choose who I ought to be useful to.”
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
The Doctor raised an eyebrow at the word “squib.” He wasn’t familiar with that process, but it had an unpleasant sound to it. Nevertheless. “I’m not in the habit of bribing anyone. Paid allies, I should think, would not be very reliable in any case.”
"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. _Three___
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. _Three_.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. ____Three____.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. ____Three__"
“Well, it’s not where I left at least… but where is it then…” he muttered to himself.
It looked like Earth, possibly even England, though not the time period he’d just left (and that was the first time in a while, he had to be getting better at this fixing business)… and yet not quite right. He gave a wide berth to a particularly unpleasant looking hat, and instead went to inspect a table, which seemed to be empty, but perhaps-- the Doctor’s eyebrows rose as a piece of paper and a quill shimmered into existence on the table. Now this was certainly not technology from any of humanity’s older periods. And a school of magic? Probably another embarrassing ploy from the Master, he really had to stop dabbling with this sort of thing. But for now, he might as well go with it.
State your full name.
“Really? I don’t think you could even write it.” he said, and looked on curiously as the quill flew up and scribbled the words on the parchment of it’s own accord. Interesting, he’d have to inspect it closer later. “The Doctor will suffice quite well though...“ he muttered absently, eyes glued onto the device moving over the paper.
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
The Doctor’s gaze grew distant and thoughtful. “You know, I think that rather depends on the place and… yes, time. One should always sample local cuisine in situ. Also depends on what sort wine one is able to obtain.” His expression soured. “Lately, I haven’t been as free to travel as I’d like, and the people I work with, what do they know of fine dining… but be that as it may, a while ago I was able to to obtain a piece of passable Beeleigh Blue to go with a rather lovely Pinot Noir I received as a gift during a previous regeneration.”
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
He snorted at the question. “Kill? Why, you’re just like my current employers at the UNIT, always thinking the first solution is to kill… or better yet, blow it all up to high heavens! Typical military. Indeed, I’m sure I’d come up with a better solutions of dealing with these persons, given some actual information about them.”
3. What time is it where you are?
For a moment, the Doctor stared at the parchment with suspiciously narrowed eyes. Was this… was whoever had fashioned this ridiculous set of questions trying to mock his… slightly impaired senses? Eventually he simply straightened up and answered, in a decidedly stiff tone. “Seems to be early afternoon, as far as I can tell.”
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
The Doctor rolled his eyes. What sort of staff or students could this “school” possibly be looking for? “None of them, I should think. It’s a thoroughly barbaric and distasteful thing to do,” he snapped.
5. If you are pushing to be in:
“I’m not even sure I want anything to do with this institution…” the Doctor muttered irritably.
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
Bar? Ha. “Bartending, I assure you, is a thorough waste of my skills,” the Doctor told the parchment drily.
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
He sighed. “I really don’t see how this is relevant to anyone but these individuals, who I’m not the least bit familiar with...”
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
This, at least, he knew how to answer.
“Perhaps you should aim to get beyond the sort of petty bureaucracy that tends to engender paperwork. I’ve found that has worked splendidly for me.”
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
Again, the Doctor was not very impressed by the question. He looked around himself again, but the surroundings remained empty. Nevetheless, he aimed his reply at the empty space rather than the piece of paper, speaking confidently, as if daring anyone to contradict him.
“As you come to know me, you will find I can be very useful indeed… should I choose to be. And I might warn you, I can also choose who I ought to be useful to.”
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
The Doctor raised an eyebrow at the word “squib.” He wasn’t familiar with that process, but it had an unpleasant sound to it. Nevertheless. “I’m not in the habit of bribing anyone. Paid allies, I should think, would not be very reliable in any case.”
"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. _Three___
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. _Three_.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. ____Three____.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. ____Three__"