A celebration with beer. Hunters getting hammered ((closed RP, Sam, Dean, Castiel, Bobby))

[junkyard_hunter]

“Hey Bobby,” Sam said with a grin, the first to show. He clapped the hunter on the shoulder, happy to see him out again. He also had a few causes to celebrate; Death’s promise to intervene and keep him and Adam out of the cage, and a lovely blonde girl by the name of Sookie Stackhouse. “Where’s everyone else?”

“You know you brother, he’s always

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[nerdofthelord]

He listened silently as Sam spoke, some of the lingering heaviness lifting from him at the young man's words. Sam understood, better than most, the need not only for forgiveness but for atonement. It wasn't unfair or unkind that Dean should be angry, or that Sam should acknowledge that what he had done was not excusable; it was necessary and just. Without facing up to the gravity of his actions and paying for them, if only with one night of utter misery, there was no way Castiel could ever forgive himself.

"Thank you, Sam," he said when his friend had finished speaking. "Don't misunderstand me, though. Zachariah didn't set Jimmy and his family up to be caught by the demons, he only seized the opportunity when it came to him." He sighed deeply, rubbing his forehead. It might be splitting hairs--the whole situation had been Zachariah's fault, directly or indirectly--but even after everything he had done, Cas refused to lay more evil at his superior's door than he was rightfully due. "And I wasn't delayed long in getting there once he did."

To say that he had folded when those hoarse, angry shouts reached his ears would be too kind. Crumpled would be nearer the mark. He'd fallen all over himself agreeing to Zachariah's terms, and the dying flames of the circle had come perilously close to singing his wingtips on his reckless Earthward flight.

Not just for Jimmy's sake, though he neglected to mention it. It had been no great feat to work out that if Sam and Dean had been on their way to meet him, they had probably found Jimmy, and that they would try to protect him if they had. That was, after all, what they did. So while he hadn't known, he had feared (correctly) that he would find the boys up to their necks in exactly the same danger that had his vessel crying out so desperately for his help.

"I imagine you're correct. How is Dean?" he added. "If I'd realized he intended to hurl himself at me like that, I would have arranged to be elsewhere." The collision had shaken him up badly enough that he knew it must have left his human friend in poor shape.

[hunter_returns]

In truth, it really didn’t matter to Sam one way or the other who was at fault for putting Jimmy’s family in danger. The guy seemed to get screwed over at every opportunity just because he happened to say yes to Cas. It seemed to be a running theme in their lives; anyone who tried to help them - Jimmy, Pamela, God there were so many - inevitably wound up getting hurt or even killed. In his darker moments, Sam wondered with no small degree of bitterness that they had any friends at all.

He shook himself out of that line of thought, it wasn’t productive and it sure as hell wasn’t why he was there. “I get it Cas, but still, it seems like every time Jimmy wakes up it’s because something terrible is happening. And I get why he’s not exactly thrilled with me or Dean either, and I’m sorry for that. He doesn’t deserve that kind of grief,” he concluded with a heavy sigh.

“Dean? He’s still sleeping it off but he’ll be fine. His head’s a lot harder than it looks.” He sympathized with Cas, having been on the receiving end of one of those drunken tackles more than a few times over the years. They hurt like hell the next morning. Sam smiled a little, “A few cups of coffee, a fistful of aspirin and a good starchy breakfast and he’ll be back to normal.”

[nerdofthelord]

Cas nodded slightly. "I know. Jimmy isn't as upset with you as he once was, though. I'm not sure what he saw or heard that changed his mind, but the last time he was awake he said he'd judged you both too harshly." He would have mentioned that to Sam before now, but he hadn't realized the matter was of such great concern to him. "I think our time here has helped him as much as the rest of us."

He drained his water glass and set it down. "I hadn't intended to leave so suddenly last evening. It must have looked cowardly, but, ah..." He rolled his eyes resignedly. "I was about to become unavoidably distracted. If Dean has more to say to me on the matter, I'm not hiding from him. He knows where to find me."

[hunter_returns]

Sam nodded. He had been concerned for Jimmy since the night he overheard Castiel’s conversation with a deeply unhappy vessel. Granted Sam had only heard one side of the conversation, but it was easy enough for him to discern that Jimmy was upset. While he wasn’t sure how Hogwarts could have been good for him, it was still a relief to hear. “I’m glad that he’s okay.”

Unavoidably distracted? He looked down at the half empty glass in his hands and tried not to smile. His friend had a somewhat unique way of framing things sometimes. “Cas, no one who knows you would call you cowardly. Dean was ready to go after you the second you took off. You’re his best friend, he’s not gonna hold it against you.”

How Bobby might take the news would be another matter entirely. Briefly, Sam considered giving the old hunter a heads up, but decided against it. It wasn’t his secret to tell.

[nerdofthelord]

Put simply, whatever happened to Castiel filtered down to his vessel to some extent, and the harder it hit the angel the more likely it was that Jimmy would feel it and suffer for it as well. In this place, all was generally calm and safe, the peace broken by only an occasional, relatively minor disturbance. While Cas had begun to realize some time before that this wasn't as ideal a situation as it appeared on the surface, it could only be a blessed reprieve for Jimmy, who certainly deserved a good long rest after everything he had endured since accepting his role as an angelic vessel.

Sam was right, of course. Dean had an explosive temper and was more than capable of holding a grudge, but his capacity for forgiveness and for putting things behind him when they ceased to be important was also amazing.

That, he thought, might be the single thing that set his new human family apart from his angelic brethren more than any other. Angels judged and forgave (if at all) according to the strictest of laws. They saw no shades of gray and did not relent with the passage of time, even if, on occasion, they found a desire to do so.

He had been like that once; not long ago at all, by the standards of his kind. Learning better had been deeply confusing and on occasion very painful, but he was grateful nonetheless. It was a fair price to pay for everything that had been opened to him in the process.

"That's good to know." Absently, he rubbed at the back of his neck, where the irritating throb still persisted. "I am not sorry that I told you both the truth. But now that it's done, I sincerely hope that the matter never comes up again." Not the matter of the panic room, at least. In his own mind, it was all hopelessly mixed up with what he had done to Anna, and he had an uneasy feeling there could be footnotes to that part of the story that hadn't yet been revealed.

[hunter_returns]

“It’ll be ok, Cas,” he assured him again. “And I think we can consider the whole damned mess closed. It’s over with.”

Another reason that Sam was grateful for their time at Hogwarts was he, Dean and Bobby were better able to convey to Cas that he was part of their family. Back home there was always another crisis, a demon to fight or a Creation-shattering Apocalypse to deal with. They never had the time to really come out and say it, and God knows Dean and Bobby weren’t the type to be overt about it. But after Christmas, a few rounds of (slightly) harmless pranks, and time to generally recover and catch their breath, he was beginning to think that Cas understood.

Sam rubbed his face with a wan smile. “I’m glad you’re ok Cas. Now I think I need to get my hands on some aspirin and lay down.” He got to his feet, holding on to the back of the chair for a moment to steady himself. Sam nodded once and made his way to the door.

“Thanks for sending the note Sam,” Death murmured to him as he made his way out and she headed back in. “Now go get some sleep.”

[nerdofthelord]

Castiel nodded back. "Rest well, Sam."

When his visitor had left, he stretched out on the bed again and shut his eyes with a sigh. He could ignore the mild lingering headache and go on about his day's business (such as it was,) but there was no pressing need to do so; the others would also be recovering for a time, and it wasn't as if he had duties to attend or a crisis to avert. That sense of aimlessness could be frustrating at times, even with Death helping to keep him occupied, but right now it felt like a blessing.

"I'm sorry if I worried you," he said to her quietly when they were alone. "That was precisely the opposite of what I intended."

[endlessgoth]

Death closed the door and turned the lights out before crossing the room to curl up beside him on the bed again. "I know," she said gently, drawing him near. "But the next time you're upset or so miserable you can't move, call me you big doofus. You need me, I show up. That's how this works."

That was as close as she could get to really yelling at him. She had made a promise to Jimmy that she'd be there to take care of Castiel, and it wasn't one she intended to break.

[nerdofthelord]

He nodded wordlessly, though he had no intention of allowing such an occasion to arise again. At the time he'd been too thoroughly wretched to contemplate the larger implications. But in retrospect, it scared him that he'd lost not only his composure, but the ability to defend himself or others if he'd needed to, simply because he'd chosen the wrong bottle to drink from.

Hogwarts seemed a safe haven, but that was no excuse for such carelessness. Complacency could kill as surely as any weapon; the fact that true threats were rare here did not mean none could ever appear. He needed to find his sense of self-discipline again before it slipped irretrievably from his grasp.

...which meant he really should get up and find something more constructive to do than cuddle and drowse the day away. Dammit.

"I should be doing something useful," he said with a sigh. "Checking on Adam. Or thinning out the acromantula. Something." Even if it amounted to little more than busywork.

((wtf, LJ?))

[endlessgoth]

Death barely checked a comment that thinning out the acromantula would be a good way to keep them both occupied for part of the afternoon. While she would have preferred to keep him close, she understood the desire to do something productive after an upsetting night. Their respective responsibilities were too important to ignore forever, even if Hogwarts had given them both a welcome chance to ease those burdens for a short time.

“Okay. Why don’t you go grab a shower, and I’ll have the house elves bring by a little breakfast for you?” If he needed the day to feel useful, she could always slip away from the school and make a few more rounds.

Finding Castiel in such a state the night before had frightened her badly, but at the same time, she didn’t want to hover too close. Making a few rounds would be a good way to keep her occupied and insure she didn’t get in his way.

[nerdofthelord]

"Thank you," he said, kissing her forehead, and he didn't just mean for breakfast. He could have survived the foregoing day alone, if it had been required of him, but he was thankful beyond words that it had not.

Her company would not have been unwelcome, if she had chosen to accompany him. But there was also a certain clarity to be found in solitude, and it would do him good to spend some time there.

He rose and went to get cleaned up; yet another inefficient, time-consuming human ritual that wasn't necessary, but that he'd learned to appreciate in recent months for the small comforts it offered.