God Jul from Toki and Skwisgaar and the Shoggies!
((Following Smaug-mun's lead since it's almost the 25th over here anyway. :D))
On Christmas day, Toki would find his gaming room stocked with an assortment of new games and gaming peripherals from the last year (each in brutal black, red, or skull print wrap), along with a Flying V-shaped crystal dish sitting on one of the tables and filled with Malaco Pastellfiskar (Sweden's version of Swedish Fish), including salmiak flavoured. Beside it was a paper craft calendar that Skwisgaar thought he'd enjoy, several sheets of miniature banana stickers for the zombies, and a card.
The card explained that Skwisgaar wanted to help Toki turn it into whatever he wanted -- a candy store, toy store, hobby store, arcade, or just a place to hang out -- and was signed: all my love, Skwisgaar. Included was a document that when unfolded would shed some light on Skwisgaar's message. It was a deed, in Toki's name, for one of the buildings in Hogsmeade. A small wizarding-style photograph was attached to it with a paperclip, showing the building in question. It was of a good size and situated in an area that saw plenty of traffic, with large display windows lining the front, ideal for a shop.
Skwisgaar and Toki's 2010 holiday cards feature another family portrait on the front: They're dressed as Vikings in the snow, each holding two of their Shoggies, and Smaug's behind them, his head lowered so it's within the frame. In the far distance the rest of the Hogwarts Shoggies can be seen pelting Elric with snowballs. Each card has a message wishing the recipient a brutal holiday and is signed by Skwisgaar and Toki, with four squiggles representing their Shoggies' signatures and a small draconic-looking rune representing Smaug's, drawn courtesy of Elric.
Their gifts would be delivered by house elves and owls late at night on the 24th.
Elric & Smaug will receive a card, a large vat of dragonscale wax, a box of candles, a cordless CD player that functions at Hogwarts and a CD of "mood music". Also some practical bedding for Elric (sleeping bag, pillows, spare blankets, etc.).
In addition they'll receive a large poster board on which has been glued a construction-paper cut-out version of Smaug, sitting atop a large pile of construction paper gold, accented with golden glitter and actual bones. A simple construction-paper Elric figure is almost dwarfed by Smaug, mainly noticeable because the white paper of his face stands out. The bones are glued macaroni-art style to the gold-and-bone heap. The bones are all small, evidently from rodents, suggesting they were obtained in mass quantity from the floor of the owlery. Most of the bones are scattered about haphazardly, but a few have been worked into miniature ideas of monster-skeletons, complete with little glued-on paper horns.
Nathan, Pickles, Murderface, and Ofdensen all get 'snowglobes', made from empty glass jars. In each, various rocks and small bones have been arranged into a peak-like structure and firmly glued to the lid of the jar. A few dead trees made from shellacked twigs decorate the rock-pile hills, which are slightly different within each 'snowglobe'. Each contains a gaming miniature posed upon the hill, painted up to vaguely resemble Nathan/Pickles/Murderface/Ofdensen. The band members are all represented by brutal-looking warrior figures, but a short-haired cleric/mage miniature stands in for Ofdensen, with robe painted plain black and tie and glasses carefully painted on. Broken monster miniatures are scattered about the feet of each figure, and a liberal splattering of red paint completes the scene. Instead of the usual white flakes, red glitter is suspended in the 'snowglobes', the lids of which have been firmly hot-glued to prevent leaking.
Nathan will also receive a card, a Grow Your Own Beer Garden kit (http://www.thinkgeek.com/geektoys/science/dd60/), and an alligator skull (http://theevolutionstore.com/store/alligator-skull-20in-replica-ss375).
Pickles will also receive a card and a vintage flask (http://www.beverlybremer.com/shop/sterling-silver-flatware/TIFFANY-FLORAL-AND-SCROLL-FLASK-7320/45759) with his name engraved on it.
Murderface will also receive a card, a lead sprinkler torture device and an encyclopedia set on torture throughout the ages.
Ofdensen will also receive a card, a fanmade plushie Nathan Explosion doll, a selection of gear/skull/guitar/solid colour ties other than red, and a bottle of his preferred brandy.
All of the Shoggies at Hogwarts will receive a card, large fragments of meteorite for them to use for their various "craft projects", and another Shoggy-only banquet in the Great Hall like last year's that all of them are invited to.
In addition to that, Toki and Skwisgaar's Shoggies will each receive a Shoggy-sized sleeping bag that will fit within their drawer rooms, and homemade tanks: Toki has stapled a few artfully arranged cardboard boxes atop a skateboard, which he's had house-elves enchant to move/stop at command words. These boxes are arranged to form Shoggy-sized tanks, which the Shoggies can enter through a hole in the top, covered by a 'hinged' box only duct-taped to one side, and representing the gun-turret, the 'guns' of which are made from cardboard tubes. Toki has painted the Shoggy-tanks in camoflauge colors, and cut assorted holes in the sides for the Shoggies to look through.
Kaylee will receive a card, a flat of strawberry plants with a care sheet, a CD player that functions at Hogwarts, and Dethklok's discography.
Toki has also made popsicle-stick plant stakes to decorate the strawberry plants. The popsicle-sticks are painted black, and have colorful little skulls made from shrinky-dink plastic glued to them.
Sweden will receive a card and an entire little collection of tomte dolls (http://www.hemslojd.com/tomtes.html).
He'll also get an empty glass jar 'snowglobe', which features a gaming miniature painted to be blond with glasses, wearing blue and yellow clothing (obviously meant to be Sweden) standing triumphantly atop another figure, who has been painted to appear as though he's wearing Denmark's flag. The Danish figure has been run through with a toothpick-spear, with red paint and glitter representing the blood and bits of guts spilling out. Both figures have been affixed to a pile of rocks painted white to represent snow, with iridescent white glitter as the flakes.
Oly will receive a card, a CD player that functions at Hogwarts, Dethklok's discography, and a note from Skwisgaar wondering where she's been hiding out the last several months.
She'll also get a construction paper-and-bone collage with a 'circus massacre' theme, wherein the freaks and an assortment of mutant circus animals are brutally murdering the audience. A copious amount of red paint and glitter has been used to represent the gore.
Jasper will receive a card and several bottles of fresh blood that have been charmed to taste like things other than blood (such as root beer, cotton candy, licorice, wine, etc.). There's also a note about the raptor's gift (who presumably lives with Jasper still), asking Jasper to help the dinosaur with them.
Vladimir and Valentine will receive a card and the contract that's been signed by ((most)) of Dethklok, agreeing to perform at their wedding.
Jasper, Vladimir, and Valentine will also receive matching ornate pillboxes featuring red jasper in the design, and with their respective initials engraved into them.
(It should probably be mentioned that Skwisgaar and Toki both assume Jasper and Vladimir are already married to each other, and that Jasper and Vladimir just decided to add Valentine to their marriage-collection.)
And for their crafty gift, another piece of construction paper and bone on poster board art- this one utilizes a black poster board as backdrop, and a psychadelic blend of glo-in-the-dark paint additions, creating an effect vaguely reminscent of 1970's black light posters. A blood ocean spans the lower half of the picture (with little wave-shapes drawn onto the paper with red glo-paints), and above this is a flying-saucer-like spaceship, accented with more of the glo-paint for lights. A couple of construction-paper islands rise above the blood ocean, studded with huge, brightly-colored mushrooms, and accented with piles of glued-on bone. A 'window' in the flying saucer shape contains construction-paper figures of Vlad, Valentine, and Jasper- the latter has exaggerated fangs, red with blood, and all of them have cut-out assault rifles.
The raptor will receive a card and a flock of free-range chickens, as they're purportedly tastier than those raised in inhumane conditions.
The raptor's hand-made gift is much less childish than Toki's other hand-crafted constructions. Toki has actually done a very nice job of cutting out a couple of black leather bands large enough to encircle the raptor's forearms, and has done an equally nice job of attaching a brutal quantity of metal spikes and studs to each. The handmade raptor-bracers have strips of heavy-duty velcro to secure them instead of buckles.
Nidhögg will receive a card, a massive quantity of wizarding bubble bath (delivered in lidded tubs, not dumped into the lake) and an assortment of bath toys, charmed to be gigantic enough for him to play with.
Toki has also made another 'snowglobe' for him, presuming it would be ok under the water. This one contains a dragon miniature, which doesn't really look much like Nidhögg, but has at least been painted the right colors to resemble him. The dragon mini has been glued to a pile of rocks, accented with little bones and shells, and has a few broken human minis scattered around it, and the top half of one is glued into the dragon's mouth. Completeing the scene is the usual red paint, and Toki has again used red glitter instead of white for the 'snow'.
Asajj will receive a card, a knitted hat with matching scarf and mittens in a festive snowman print, and an interesting umbrella (http://www.thinkgeek.com/gadgets/lights/d163/).
Toki has also made for her another construction-paper-and-owlery-bones picture, with a cut-out paper Ventress glued to a piece of black construction paper, with a pile of bones glued around her feet. These have been accented with red paint and glitter, and her dual light sabers are painted on in red glo-paint.
On Christmas day, Toki would find his gaming room stocked with an assortment of new games and gaming peripherals from the last year (each in brutal black, red, or skull print wrap), along with a Flying V-shaped crystal dish sitting on one of the tables and filled with Malaco Pastellfiskar (Sweden's version of Swedish Fish), including salmiak flavoured. Beside it was a paper craft calendar that Skwisgaar thought he'd enjoy, several sheets of miniature banana stickers for the zombies, and a card.
The card explained that Skwisgaar wanted to help Toki turn it into whatever he wanted -- a candy store, toy store, hobby store, arcade, or just a place to hang out -- and was signed: all my love, Skwisgaar. Included was a document that when unfolded would shed some light on Skwisgaar's message. It was a deed, in Toki's name, for one of the buildings in Hogsmeade. A small wizarding-style photograph was attached to it with a paperclip, showing the building in question. It was of a good size and situated in an area that saw plenty of traffic, with large display windows lining the front, ideal for a shop.
Skwisgaar and Toki's 2010 holiday cards feature another family portrait on the front: They're dressed as Vikings in the snow, each holding two of their Shoggies, and Smaug's behind them, his head lowered so it's within the frame. In the far distance the rest of the Hogwarts Shoggies can be seen pelting Elric with snowballs. Each card has a message wishing the recipient a brutal holiday and is signed by Skwisgaar and Toki, with four squiggles representing their Shoggies' signatures and a small draconic-looking rune representing Smaug's, drawn courtesy of Elric.
Their gifts would be delivered by house elves and owls late at night on the 24th.
Elric & Smaug will receive a card, a large vat of dragonscale wax, a box of candles, a cordless CD player that functions at Hogwarts and a CD of "mood music". Also some practical bedding for Elric (sleeping bag, pillows, spare blankets, etc.).
In addition they'll receive a large poster board on which has been glued a construction-paper cut-out version of Smaug, sitting atop a large pile of construction paper gold, accented with golden glitter and actual bones. A simple construction-paper Elric figure is almost dwarfed by Smaug, mainly noticeable because the white paper of his face stands out. The bones are glued macaroni-art style to the gold-and-bone heap. The bones are all small, evidently from rodents, suggesting they were obtained in mass quantity from the floor of the owlery. Most of the bones are scattered about haphazardly, but a few have been worked into miniature ideas of monster-skeletons, complete with little glued-on paper horns.
Nathan, Pickles, Murderface, and Ofdensen all get 'snowglobes', made from empty glass jars. In each, various rocks and small bones have been arranged into a peak-like structure and firmly glued to the lid of the jar. A few dead trees made from shellacked twigs decorate the rock-pile hills, which are slightly different within each 'snowglobe'. Each contains a gaming miniature posed upon the hill, painted up to vaguely resemble Nathan/Pickles/Murderface/Ofdensen. The band members are all represented by brutal-looking warrior figures, but a short-haired cleric/mage miniature stands in for Ofdensen, with robe painted plain black and tie and glasses carefully painted on. Broken monster miniatures are scattered about the feet of each figure, and a liberal splattering of red paint completes the scene. Instead of the usual white flakes, red glitter is suspended in the 'snowglobes', the lids of which have been firmly hot-glued to prevent leaking.
Nathan will also receive a card, a Grow Your Own Beer Garden kit (http://www.thinkgeek.com/geektoys/science/dd60/), and an alligator skull (http://theevolutionstore.com/store/alligator-skull-20in-replica-ss375).
Pickles will also receive a card and a vintage flask (http://www.beverlybremer.com/shop/sterling-silver-flatware/TIFFANY-FLORAL-AND-SCROLL-FLASK-7320/45759) with his name engraved on it.
Murderface will also receive a card, a lead sprinkler torture device and an encyclopedia set on torture throughout the ages.
Ofdensen will also receive a card, a fanmade plushie Nathan Explosion doll, a selection of gear/skull/guitar/solid colour ties other than red, and a bottle of his preferred brandy.
All of the Shoggies at Hogwarts will receive a card, large fragments of meteorite for them to use for their various "craft projects", and another Shoggy-only banquet in the Great Hall like last year's that all of them are invited to.
In addition to that, Toki and Skwisgaar's Shoggies will each receive a Shoggy-sized sleeping bag that will fit within their drawer rooms, and homemade tanks: Toki has stapled a few artfully arranged cardboard boxes atop a skateboard, which he's had house-elves enchant to move/stop at command words. These boxes are arranged to form Shoggy-sized tanks, which the Shoggies can enter through a hole in the top, covered by a 'hinged' box only duct-taped to one side, and representing the gun-turret, the 'guns' of which are made from cardboard tubes. Toki has painted the Shoggy-tanks in camoflauge colors, and cut assorted holes in the sides for the Shoggies to look through.
Kaylee will receive a card, a flat of strawberry plants with a care sheet, a CD player that functions at Hogwarts, and Dethklok's discography.
Toki has also made popsicle-stick plant stakes to decorate the strawberry plants. The popsicle-sticks are painted black, and have colorful little skulls made from shrinky-dink plastic glued to them.
Sweden will receive a card and an entire little collection of tomte dolls (http://www.hemslojd.com/tomtes.html).
He'll also get an empty glass jar 'snowglobe', which features a gaming miniature painted to be blond with glasses, wearing blue and yellow clothing (obviously meant to be Sweden) standing triumphantly atop another figure, who has been painted to appear as though he's wearing Denmark's flag. The Danish figure has been run through with a toothpick-spear, with red paint and glitter representing the blood and bits of guts spilling out. Both figures have been affixed to a pile of rocks painted white to represent snow, with iridescent white glitter as the flakes.
Oly will receive a card, a CD player that functions at Hogwarts, Dethklok's discography, and a note from Skwisgaar wondering where she's been hiding out the last several months.
She'll also get a construction paper-and-bone collage with a 'circus massacre' theme, wherein the freaks and an assortment of mutant circus animals are brutally murdering the audience. A copious amount of red paint and glitter has been used to represent the gore.
Jasper will receive a card and several bottles of fresh blood that have been charmed to taste like things other than blood (such as root beer, cotton candy, licorice, wine, etc.). There's also a note about the raptor's gift (who presumably lives with Jasper still), asking Jasper to help the dinosaur with them.
Vladimir and Valentine will receive a card and the contract that's been signed by ((most)) of Dethklok, agreeing to perform at their wedding.
Jasper, Vladimir, and Valentine will also receive matching ornate pillboxes featuring red jasper in the design, and with their respective initials engraved into them.
(It should probably be mentioned that Skwisgaar and Toki both assume Jasper and Vladimir are already married to each other, and that Jasper and Vladimir just decided to add Valentine to their marriage-collection.)
And for their crafty gift, another piece of construction paper and bone on poster board art- this one utilizes a black poster board as backdrop, and a psychadelic blend of glo-in-the-dark paint additions, creating an effect vaguely reminscent of 1970's black light posters. A blood ocean spans the lower half of the picture (with little wave-shapes drawn onto the paper with red glo-paints), and above this is a flying-saucer-like spaceship, accented with more of the glo-paint for lights. A couple of construction-paper islands rise above the blood ocean, studded with huge, brightly-colored mushrooms, and accented with piles of glued-on bone. A 'window' in the flying saucer shape contains construction-paper figures of Vlad, Valentine, and Jasper- the latter has exaggerated fangs, red with blood, and all of them have cut-out assault rifles.
The raptor will receive a card and a flock of free-range chickens, as they're purportedly tastier than those raised in inhumane conditions.
The raptor's hand-made gift is much less childish than Toki's other hand-crafted constructions. Toki has actually done a very nice job of cutting out a couple of black leather bands large enough to encircle the raptor's forearms, and has done an equally nice job of attaching a brutal quantity of metal spikes and studs to each. The handmade raptor-bracers have strips of heavy-duty velcro to secure them instead of buckles.
Nidhögg will receive a card, a massive quantity of wizarding bubble bath (delivered in lidded tubs, not dumped into the lake) and an assortment of bath toys, charmed to be gigantic enough for him to play with.
Toki has also made another 'snowglobe' for him, presuming it would be ok under the water. This one contains a dragon miniature, which doesn't really look much like Nidhögg, but has at least been painted the right colors to resemble him. The dragon mini has been glued to a pile of rocks, accented with little bones and shells, and has a few broken human minis scattered around it, and the top half of one is glued into the dragon's mouth. Completeing the scene is the usual red paint, and Toki has again used red glitter instead of white for the 'snow'.
Asajj will receive a card, a knitted hat with matching scarf and mittens in a festive snowman print, and an interesting umbrella (http://www.thinkgeek.com/gadgets/lights/d163/).
Toki has also made for her another construction-paper-and-owlery-bones picture, with a cut-out paper Ventress glued to a piece of black construction paper, with a pile of bones glued around her feet. These have been accented with red paint and glitter, and her dual light sabers are painted on in red glo-paint.