compy post, open: Inquiring mind(s) want to know!
sequela@hogwarts.IntraNet.net posted:Hello. How are you? I am new to Hogwarts and have some questions of the kind new people sometimes think and seldom have the opportunity to ask
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HELLO. MASTER 'ZATHOTH IS MASTER OF TIME AND SPACE. HE IS THE GATE AND THE KEY BUT NOT SOAP. IF THERE IS NOT LIGHTNING HE IS NOT MAD. HE JUST GETS MAD ABOUT BEING CALLED SOAP OR BUBBLES OR FOAMS OR MAYBE LOTS OF BALLS. WE THOUGHT HE WAS INS SHOGGIES' BALL PIT ONE DAY BUT IT WAS JUST BALLS.
MASTER CTHULHOO LIKES CHIKEN AND LOOKS NICE IN HATS BUT VERY BIG HATS. MASTER SMAUG LIKES MEATS SO WE THINK HE LIKES CHIKENS. WE KNOW HE LIKES PROTO-HAMSBURGERS. ONE DAY HE GOT US SOME. WE DONT KNOW IF LAKEFRIEND DOES BECAUSE WE HAV NOT SEEN UNDERWATER CHIKEN. MASTER DAGON MAKES UNDERWATER PEOPLE THAT R SOOO CUTE. WE WILL TRY AND MAKE SUM UNDERWATER CHIKEN OUT OF CHIKEN AND FISH.
The Shoggies had not expected their time with the compy system to result in food, so When a owl actually arrived with chicken and the requested swiss cheese, just like the compy said it would, the Shoggies were awed. After enveloping said chicken and cheese, and not eating the owl as per instructions, the Shoggies returned to their efforts at writing.
YOU ARE SOOO COOL. WE THANK YOU FOR CHIKEN AND CHEESE AND DID NOT EAT THE OWL. WE TRIED OWLS ONCE BUT THEY WERE POINTY. THE SORTINGHAT WAS NOT MADE OF MEAT BUT WE WORE IT. IT LIKED US WEARING IT AND WE LIKED WEARING IT TOO. CAN WE HAV MORE CHIKEN AND CHEESE? THIS TIME WE WANT THE YELLOW CHEESE OR THE KIND WITH GREEN FUR OR THE KIND THAT COMES WITH OTHER FOOD STUCK TO IT. WE LIKE ALL CHEESE. DO YOU LIKE CHEESE?
This time, the Shoggies watched the screen intently, murmuring amongst themselves about the prospective arrival of another chicken and cheese-bearing owl.
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Underwater people? I've never met an underwater person. Can you tell me more about them?
By proto-hamburger, do you mean a living cow?
I am sending what the house-elves tell me is the yellowest of yellow cheeses, with some underwater chicken. The cheese is called Squeeze Cheese. The chicken is called Chicken of the Sea and they say it comes from America.
I hope you enjoy it.
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"Soooo cool!" The Shoggies marvel over the house-elves delivery, which vanishes in mere moments, plastic container, metal tins and all. It takes them a moment to calm down before they compose a return message, once again typed by Shoggy 12.3.
HELLO. YOU ARE SOOO COOL. DO YOU LIVE IN THE BOX? CAN WE SUMMON YOU OUT OF IT?
A PROTO-HAMSBURGER IS A HAMSBURGERBEAST. THEY ARE MADE OF MEAT THAT BECOMES HAMSBURGERS AND YES WE THINK THAT THEY R COWS.
MASTER DAGON HAS SOOO COOL DEEP ONES. THEY ARE LIKE FISH AND LIKE FROGS AND LIKE HUMANS SO THEY TASTE GOOD. THEY HAVE SOOO MUCH FUN MUTATING AND SWIMMING DOWN TO Y'HA-NTHLEI WHERE THEY WILL WORSHIP HIM FOREVER. YOU CAN MEET SUM IN INNSMOUTH. MAYBE THEY WILL SHOW YOU Y'HA-NTHLEI.
WE LOVE THE SQUEEZECHEESE AND SEACHIKEN. THEY WERE SOOO CRUNCHY ON THE OUTSIDE WITH SQUISHY PARTS INSIDE LIKE A TURTLE OR MAYBE A HOUSE. SOOO COOL. WE WOULD LIKE MORE SEACHIKEN AND SQUEEZECHEESE. WE WILL TRY TO MAKE THEM FOR THE DETHTOWER. WE WILL HAV THEM BY THE HEADS. WE HAVE LOTS AND SUM STILL HAV STUFF INSIDE THEM SO WE WILL HAV SANDWICHES.
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I can't come out of the box, if the computer is what you mean, I'm afraid. You can summon me by sending an owl, how's that? Address it to Ari. That's my name.
Is the Dethtower a building, or some other stacking of things? I'm interested in construction and urban planning.
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The concept of mailing a letter via owl was still slightly above the Shoggy's understanding. Fortunately, a passing house-elf heard their chatter involving exactly how they addressed someone via owl, and, offered to help them with it. This resulted in a piece of paper with the word "IA ARI" inscribed in large letters with a permanent marker being sent to Ari.
WE THINK WE SENT AN OWL.
THE DETHTOWER IS A STACKING OF MANY THINGS SHAPED INTO A TOWER WITH MANY PARTS. MOSTLY THESE THINGS R ROCKS BUT SOME OTHER PARTS TOO LIKE LASERS AND WINDMILLS. AND THERE R WINDOWS AND WINDOWS R MADE OF HOLES. WE HAV A SHINING TRAPEZOHEDRON INSIDE IT SO ITS LIKE EVERYTHING IS IN THE STACK, BUT MOSTLY IT IS ROCKS.
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