Application for Zack Fair (Final Fantasy VII Compilation)
The saying usually goes, "Life's a bitch, and then you die."
Upon reflection, even counting the really good parts (Aerith, Cloud, even Sephiroth and Angeal before the former went crazy and the latter turned into a... better not to think about that) I've gotta agree. Life really is one hell of a bitch.
I think I did good, though. There were a lot of bad things, a few great things, but all in all, I can die knowing I finished with a job well done. So now it's time to lay back, relax, and return to the lifestream.
Funny how the lifestream feels a lot like a cold stone floor.
...Okay, I'm not imagining it. Something isn't right. I'm pretty sure the lifestream does not equal lying supine on cobbles.
And that I shouldn't be able to just open my eyes like I've done every day, but I am and it's weird and something just is not right.
I sit up. Like, normal sitting up. This can't seriously be the afterlife. Nothing I've ever read or heard said anything about the lifestream being a room in what looked like a really old part of Nibelheim.
Looking around, I can't find anything familiar, and the only thing worth notice is the little table with the paper, and a fancy pen that someone must've cast Float on.
State your full name.
I reach for the pen, but it floats out of my range. Well, I guess answering out loud is just as good... "Um, Zack Fair."
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
I shrug. "Anything that doesn't come from the Shinra trooper cafeteria. That's the best part about SOLDIER, we don't have to eat that nasty processed Chocobo Bill's Chococheese."
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
"Eeeh..." I scratch my head a little. I know I look embarrassed, but it's kind of hard not to, in this case. "I don't like to kill unnecessarily. If it's up to me, they both live, as long as they don't force my hand."
3. What time is it where you are?
"I dunno, does the lifestream measure time?"
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
Wow, these questions just get progressively weirder. "I... uh, I'm not really qualified to answer that... I wouldn't harrass anyone, but I'm not gonna pass up looking at a pretty girl..."
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
Sounds like the guy from the Sector Five slums, who was building the bar. I like the name I thought up for him last time, so, "Seventh heaven! A little piece of heaven in... wherever this is." I'm starting to not be so sure that this is the lifestream at all.
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
Oh man, marriage. I've never had a chance to think of that before (not really, being in SOLDIER pretty much guarantees a short lifespan, and in my situation... well.) "Hey, whoever Harry loves, that's who he should be with. Spending your life with someone you love shouldn't be sneezed at, you know?"
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
I laugh. Thankfully, SOLDIER never has to do paperwork. Unless you're an overachiever like Sephiroth, but I'm not about to say that to his face. "Outsource it to the Turks, that's what we do."
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
This time, I know I'm grinning. "I'm a SOLDIER first class, which is pretty much the definition of Not Useless where I come from. Sure, I'm mostly just the muscle for Shinra, but you can't have a brain if you don't have muscles to defend it, am I right?"
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
Aw geeze, there's the kicker. I don't have the Buster Sword - of course, Cloud's taking good care of it now; I know I can trust him with it - all I have are a few left over potions, my mastered materia, and a little pressed flower I keep inside my armor. But that one, that's mine. As long as I can keep a little part of Aerith with me, this weird ol' afterlife shouldn't be so bad.
"Not much to offer, but these health potions should come in handy to anyone who has some minor scrapes and bumps that need taking care of."
"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. ____Zack________
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. _____Zack______.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. _____Zack______.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. _____Zack________"
Upon reflection, even counting the really good parts (Aerith, Cloud, even Sephiroth and Angeal before the former went crazy and the latter turned into a... better not to think about that) I've gotta agree. Life really is one hell of a bitch.
I think I did good, though. There were a lot of bad things, a few great things, but all in all, I can die knowing I finished with a job well done. So now it's time to lay back, relax, and return to the lifestream.
Funny how the lifestream feels a lot like a cold stone floor.
...Okay, I'm not imagining it. Something isn't right. I'm pretty sure the lifestream does not equal lying supine on cobbles.
And that I shouldn't be able to just open my eyes like I've done every day, but I am and it's weird and something just is not right.
I sit up. Like, normal sitting up. This can't seriously be the afterlife. Nothing I've ever read or heard said anything about the lifestream being a room in what looked like a really old part of Nibelheim.
Looking around, I can't find anything familiar, and the only thing worth notice is the little table with the paper, and a fancy pen that someone must've cast Float on.
State your full name.
I reach for the pen, but it floats out of my range. Well, I guess answering out loud is just as good... "Um, Zack Fair."
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
I shrug. "Anything that doesn't come from the Shinra trooper cafeteria. That's the best part about SOLDIER, we don't have to eat that nasty processed Chocobo Bill's Chococheese."
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
"Eeeh..." I scratch my head a little. I know I look embarrassed, but it's kind of hard not to, in this case. "I don't like to kill unnecessarily. If it's up to me, they both live, as long as they don't force my hand."
3. What time is it where you are?
"I dunno, does the lifestream measure time?"
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
Wow, these questions just get progressively weirder. "I... uh, I'm not really qualified to answer that... I wouldn't harrass anyone, but I'm not gonna pass up looking at a pretty girl..."
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
Sounds like the guy from the Sector Five slums, who was building the bar. I like the name I thought up for him last time, so, "Seventh heaven! A little piece of heaven in... wherever this is." I'm starting to not be so sure that this is the lifestream at all.
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
Oh man, marriage. I've never had a chance to think of that before (not really, being in SOLDIER pretty much guarantees a short lifespan, and in my situation... well.) "Hey, whoever Harry loves, that's who he should be with. Spending your life with someone you love shouldn't be sneezed at, you know?"
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
I laugh. Thankfully, SOLDIER never has to do paperwork. Unless you're an overachiever like Sephiroth, but I'm not about to say that to his face. "Outsource it to the Turks, that's what we do."
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
This time, I know I'm grinning. "I'm a SOLDIER first class, which is pretty much the definition of Not Useless where I come from. Sure, I'm mostly just the muscle for Shinra, but you can't have a brain if you don't have muscles to defend it, am I right?"
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
Aw geeze, there's the kicker. I don't have the Buster Sword - of course, Cloud's taking good care of it now; I know I can trust him with it - all I have are a few left over potions, my mastered materia, and a little pressed flower I keep inside my armor. But that one, that's mine. As long as I can keep a little part of Aerith with me, this weird ol' afterlife shouldn't be so bad.
"Not much to offer, but these health potions should come in handy to anyone who has some minor scrapes and bumps that need taking care of."
"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. ____Zack________
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. _____Zack______.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. _____Zack______.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. _____Zack________"