Applicant: Finbar Wrong (Derek Landy's 'Skulduggery Pleasant', series)
((OOC: With permission from China mun - me.))
A man with long greasy black hair found himself in the Sorting Room. The great doors were closed behind him, and some feet away a lone desk with stationary upon it rested, undisturbed. He took measured steps forward, as if assessing the firmness of the stone, should the flagstones disappear from under his shit-kickers. The man wasn't edgy or confused; he seemed at one, content and relaxed with his given situation. He had coloured tattoos up and down his bare arms, all melting into one another. He wore a band shirt which not only had undergone some savagery (no longer sleeved and frayed) was terribly loose on his willowy frame. He sported a collection of black bands around his wrist, ranging in thickness and spiked or not spiked styles, one even holding a shiny silver skull. Even before he seated himself, there was an inner awareness that the quill would act upon his spoken word, be it because he was a Sensitive .. or merely because he took the time to read the note beside it.
State you full name.
"Name's Finbar, man. Finbar Wrong."
1. What is your favourite cheese? Why is it your favourite?
"Y'know?" He paused. "I've never really given it much thought, man. They're all pretty groovy, but I'spose that regular cheese ... whassit called? Cheddar? That's pretty good, man. I'll go with that." Finbar nodded.
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
"Sorry man, I wouldn't kill even if I knew 'em, 'cause, like, that's bad juju. Really corrupts the cosmos y'know?" Finbar said, picking absently at a frayed strand in his knee-torn jeans.
3. What time is it where you are?
"I don't care about time, man, I live in the here and now. Time is, like, just another institution created by 'the man'."
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
Finbar had to think, "If he was dead in the first place, and then came back, he'd be like a vampire or something, yeah? Man, vampire's a risky business ... y'know I was possessed by the Napoleon's spirit once, it was a week before he left, the missus didn't seem to notice at first, but I think the accent gave it away. I hate possession, y'know, really takes it from yah, man." Finbar went silent, a silly smile on his thin lips. Then something struck him, "Oh, right. I don't really know, y'know? Even if I were this bloke, Albus, I don't think I'd harass nobody."
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bar-tend, in the dark.
"Man, if you bar-tend in the dark, like, you'd smash all the glasses ... besides, no one would know what they'd be drinking either, you could poison half your patrons with belladonna!" Finbar laughed jokingly, not catching the psycho drift that comment indulged. "But for the sake of argument, lessay: 'The Wrong Place'."
B. Gryffindor - debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
"Free love man, totally. This Harry to marry whom ever ... and like, these days, as many whom ever's as he could handle. More luck to him if he chooses both man, my Sharon is enough for me."
C. Ravenclaw - you guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even thought I'm constantly disposing of it.
"Working under 'the man'," he muttered, shaking his head solemnly. "You're being worked stupid, your minds all over the place, and yet not where it should be man. You need to get it off things, live in the moment, man. Breeze by ... y'know? Rest."
D. Hufflepuff - prove you are not useless.
Finbar blinked, struck stupid by the bluntness of the question. "I'm a Sensitive, it's like a psychic, y'know?" He said matter-of-factually and with an edge that dared others to rebuke. "Oh, and like, I'm a certified tattooist man."
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
Finbar paused to think, his dark eyes roaming the room--he even got sidetracked by a lovely tapestry at one moment, before remembering he was answering a question--and said, "I'm a tattooist, I think I've said that ... anyway man, I could like, tattoo something for yah, y'know? Anything ... I'm pretty good." Once finished, Finbar Wrong sat and waited, his hands interlaced in his lap.
"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. Finbar.
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. Finbar.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. Finbar.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. Finbar."
A man with long greasy black hair found himself in the Sorting Room. The great doors were closed behind him, and some feet away a lone desk with stationary upon it rested, undisturbed. He took measured steps forward, as if assessing the firmness of the stone, should the flagstones disappear from under his shit-kickers. The man wasn't edgy or confused; he seemed at one, content and relaxed with his given situation. He had coloured tattoos up and down his bare arms, all melting into one another. He wore a band shirt which not only had undergone some savagery (no longer sleeved and frayed) was terribly loose on his willowy frame. He sported a collection of black bands around his wrist, ranging in thickness and spiked or not spiked styles, one even holding a shiny silver skull. Even before he seated himself, there was an inner awareness that the quill would act upon his spoken word, be it because he was a Sensitive .. or merely because he took the time to read the note beside it.
State you full name.
"Name's Finbar, man. Finbar Wrong."
1. What is your favourite cheese? Why is it your favourite?
"Y'know?" He paused. "I've never really given it much thought, man. They're all pretty groovy, but I'spose that regular cheese ... whassit called? Cheddar? That's pretty good, man. I'll go with that." Finbar nodded.
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
"Sorry man, I wouldn't kill even if I knew 'em, 'cause, like, that's bad juju. Really corrupts the cosmos y'know?" Finbar said, picking absently at a frayed strand in his knee-torn jeans.
3. What time is it where you are?
"I don't care about time, man, I live in the here and now. Time is, like, just another institution created by 'the man'."
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
Finbar had to think, "If he was dead in the first place, and then came back, he'd be like a vampire or something, yeah? Man, vampire's a risky business ... y'know I was possessed by the Napoleon's spirit once, it was a week before he left, the missus didn't seem to notice at first, but I think the accent gave it away. I hate possession, y'know, really takes it from yah, man." Finbar went silent, a silly smile on his thin lips. Then something struck him, "Oh, right. I don't really know, y'know? Even if I were this bloke, Albus, I don't think I'd harass nobody."
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bar-tend, in the dark.
"Man, if you bar-tend in the dark, like, you'd smash all the glasses ... besides, no one would know what they'd be drinking either, you could poison half your patrons with belladonna!" Finbar laughed jokingly, not catching the psycho drift that comment indulged. "But for the sake of argument, lessay: 'The Wrong Place'."
B. Gryffindor - debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
"Free love man, totally. This Harry to marry whom ever ... and like, these days, as many whom ever's as he could handle. More luck to him if he chooses both man, my Sharon is enough for me."
C. Ravenclaw - you guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even thought I'm constantly disposing of it.
"Working under 'the man'," he muttered, shaking his head solemnly. "You're being worked stupid, your minds all over the place, and yet not where it should be man. You need to get it off things, live in the moment, man. Breeze by ... y'know? Rest."
D. Hufflepuff - prove you are not useless.
Finbar blinked, struck stupid by the bluntness of the question. "I'm a Sensitive, it's like a psychic, y'know?" He said matter-of-factually and with an edge that dared others to rebuke. "Oh, and like, I'm a certified tattooist man."
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
Finbar paused to think, his dark eyes roaming the room--he even got sidetracked by a lovely tapestry at one moment, before remembering he was answering a question--and said, "I'm a tattooist, I think I've said that ... anyway man, I could like, tattoo something for yah, y'know? Anything ... I'm pretty good." Once finished, Finbar Wrong sat and waited, his hands interlaced in his lap.
"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. Finbar.
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. Finbar.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. Finbar.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. Finbar."