App for Umino Iruka (Naruto)
[OOC: Iruka is from manga chapter 450, "The Joyful Village". Possible spoilers in the comments, but not the post itself. Hope I'm doing this right.. if not, smack me down, daddy!]
Iruka froze. One minute he'd been sitting on the grass outside, alone, watching the sun go down. He was now sitting on a stone floor, in a small room with a desk. In a flash he was pressed against the wall, hand dipping into his thigh-pack for a kunai - I'm running low on those, better keep hand-to-hand and throw as few of them as possible - his head turning sharply to discern if anyone was in the room. He heard nothing and after searching the place for a minute or so with his eyes, he half-relaxed, staying alert for any noise but losing the tense posture. His eyes had noticed the desk earlier and he stepped towards it curiously, then jerked backwards as the quill rose without support, dipped itself neatly in the ink and began to write with sure sharp strokes. After ensuring it wasn't a threat, Iruka began to read what was there.
State your full name.
Iruka looked at it warily. "I assume you mean out loud," he said, feeling foolish. "My full name is Umino Iruka, but most people call me Iruka-sensei."
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
"My favourite cheese? What on earth-" Iruka shook his head. "I don't much like cheese. I suppose.. cream cheese? I don't eat it often."
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
That's a bit of an abrupt change.
"Who would I kill first? You mean I can't leave one of them alive? How bloodthirsty. Why does it matter who I kill first if both of them have to die? I'd rather not kill either of them, to be honest."
3. What time is it where you are?
What is the point of these questions? Iruka thought with irritation.
"From the angle of the sun that I can see.. probably about eleven am. But where I was before I was dragged here? It was sundown, so about nine at night."
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
"I-what-" Iruka sputtered, "I wouldn't sexually harass anyone! I'm not that kind of person!"
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
"Um.. the Rusty Kunai? Or maybe-" and here Iruka gave a rather evil-teacher grin, "The Difficult Question."
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
"Harry, whoever he is, should end up with whoever he wants to end up with, and he shouldn't be asking random people what they think. Besides, what to world mythologies have to do with someone's love life? As far as I can see, these questions are totally ridiculous and have no bearing on anything!"
Iruka rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. He was pretty tired, and standing in a stone room answering pointless questions wasn't really what he wanted to be doing right now.
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
"If you're disposing of it the way your phrasing implies, perhaps you should stop throwing the stuff away and actually do some of it. You never know, the paperwork your desk is covered in might actually be USEFUL," Iruka said snarkily. Sounded like whoever was writing this daft questionnaire had the same attitude towards paperwork as the Godaime.
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
"I can teach a class of ten year olds how to throw an incredibly sharp knife in a straight line without any casualties. Show me a jounin that can do that and I'll give them a medal," Iruka muttered, affronted. Prove he wasn't useless, indeed!
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
"A bribe.." muttered Iruka, rummaging in his flak jacket. He pulled out a variety of things his students had given him, ranging from a shiny pebble, a ragged flower, a tiny handmade doll and a rather well-drawn sketch of the sun rising over the Hokage Monument that a skilled ten-year-old had gifted him a few days ago. "That's all I have, other than weaponry, and to be honest I'd rather not give that up.."
The quill had stopped now, and he shifted awkwardly in the silence.
"So.. what happens now?"
"I have read the [info]hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. ___UI_________
I have read the [info]hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. _UI__________.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. ____UI_______.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. ___UI__________"
[OOC: Edited once to change a word ("cloak" to "flak jacket"). I was too into the Potter-y vibes to be paying attention to the fact that he doesn't wear a cloak.]
Iruka froze. One minute he'd been sitting on the grass outside, alone, watching the sun go down. He was now sitting on a stone floor, in a small room with a desk. In a flash he was pressed against the wall, hand dipping into his thigh-pack for a kunai - I'm running low on those, better keep hand-to-hand and throw as few of them as possible - his head turning sharply to discern if anyone was in the room. He heard nothing and after searching the place for a minute or so with his eyes, he half-relaxed, staying alert for any noise but losing the tense posture. His eyes had noticed the desk earlier and he stepped towards it curiously, then jerked backwards as the quill rose without support, dipped itself neatly in the ink and began to write with sure sharp strokes. After ensuring it wasn't a threat, Iruka began to read what was there.
State your full name.
Iruka looked at it warily. "I assume you mean out loud," he said, feeling foolish. "My full name is Umino Iruka, but most people call me Iruka-sensei."
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
"My favourite cheese? What on earth-" Iruka shook his head. "I don't much like cheese. I suppose.. cream cheese? I don't eat it often."
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
That's a bit of an abrupt change.
"Who would I kill first? You mean I can't leave one of them alive? How bloodthirsty. Why does it matter who I kill first if both of them have to die? I'd rather not kill either of them, to be honest."
3. What time is it where you are?
What is the point of these questions? Iruka thought with irritation.
"From the angle of the sun that I can see.. probably about eleven am. But where I was before I was dragged here? It was sundown, so about nine at night."
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
"I-what-" Iruka sputtered, "I wouldn't sexually harass anyone! I'm not that kind of person!"
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
"Um.. the Rusty Kunai? Or maybe-" and here Iruka gave a rather evil-teacher grin, "The Difficult Question."
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
"Harry, whoever he is, should end up with whoever he wants to end up with, and he shouldn't be asking random people what they think. Besides, what to world mythologies have to do with someone's love life? As far as I can see, these questions are totally ridiculous and have no bearing on anything!"
Iruka rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. He was pretty tired, and standing in a stone room answering pointless questions wasn't really what he wanted to be doing right now.
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
"If you're disposing of it the way your phrasing implies, perhaps you should stop throwing the stuff away and actually do some of it. You never know, the paperwork your desk is covered in might actually be USEFUL," Iruka said snarkily. Sounded like whoever was writing this daft questionnaire had the same attitude towards paperwork as the Godaime.
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
"I can teach a class of ten year olds how to throw an incredibly sharp knife in a straight line without any casualties. Show me a jounin that can do that and I'll give them a medal," Iruka muttered, affronted. Prove he wasn't useless, indeed!
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
"A bribe.." muttered Iruka, rummaging in his flak jacket. He pulled out a variety of things his students had given him, ranging from a shiny pebble, a ragged flower, a tiny handmade doll and a rather well-drawn sketch of the sun rising over the Hokage Monument that a skilled ten-year-old had gifted him a few days ago. "That's all I have, other than weaponry, and to be honest I'd rather not give that up.."
The quill had stopped now, and he shifted awkwardly in the silence.
"So.. what happens now?"
"I have read the [info]hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. ___UI_________
I have read the [info]hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. _UI__________.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. ____UI_______.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. ___UI__________"
[OOC: Edited once to change a word ("cloak" to "flak jacket"). I was too into the Potter-y vibes to be paying attention to the fact that he doesn't wear a cloak.]