Applicant: Sorceress Thaegan (Emily Rodda's 'Deltora Quest', saga)
((OOC: Application has become NSFW. Heavy-duty smut inside.))
A storm was brewing over the grounds of Hogwarts. It was dark grey, angry and moving in fast. Blue lightning coursed through the cumulus. As the mass grew closer to the Hogwarts construct, the thunder clouds were reflected in the stained glass windows of the sorting room.
A face formed in the clouds, it glared at the castle and as soon as it appeared, it fell into the makings of the storm. Lightning flashed and thunder boomed. From the heart of the storm a burst of golden hot lightning streaked across the grounds of Hogwarts, piercing the window and shattering its glass everywhere. The lightning rushed to meet the flagstone floor of the sorting room. House elves dived out the way as it crashed down, breaking the floor apart and sending brick, sand and debris into the air, to rain down on the scattering elves.
When the smoke dispersed a shapely figure stood in the crater. The storm outside started, the rain being brought into the sorting room by the harsh winds. The house elves picked themselves up off the floor, staring wide-eyed at the figure that caused half the destruction of the sorting room. The woman known as Sorceress Thaegan stepped out of the crevice, her black dress meeting the floor in inky tendrils of fabric. Her silver mane moved eerily as she stared down at the ugly creatures. Her skin was as green as glass, a reflection of her shielding spell that encased her form.
One brave house elf ran up to confront her. He poked a stringy finger at her and cursed her destructive entrance. Thaegan glared down at him, barring her fang-like canines in a snarl. She hiked her dress up and kicked the house elf in the chest, sending it sprawling.
Sorceress Thaegan prowled to the desk that held her application form, the house elves parted in her wake, some scurrying away. She smelt the stench of white magic in the castle, a source for the sealing of the large doors. It reminded her of the house she had trapped those three monstrous children in; the same sort of design was involved. She came to stand over the application, the quill quivered under her reproachful glower. She read.
State your full name.
“I am Sorceress Thaegan, that is my title and you will address me as such.”
1. What is your favourite cheese? Why is it your favourite?
“Cheese,” She spat. “I do not like cheese; I prefer the rich meat of crows, of ravens and other small birds.” She licked her purple lips. “I’d have a crow carcass any day, love. In fact, fetch me a crow!” She barked at one of the slower house elves. Wishing not to meet the same fate as the last elf to go up against her, it scurried away to the kitchens.
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
She narrowed her amber eyes. “Both,” she said. “Only for their ridiculous names... I’ve killed for less.”
3. What time is it where you are?
It proved difficult to ascertain the time with her storm brewing outside. It made a warm day, darker and colder, so time seemed lost on her for the moment. “It was midday when I came to the castles grounds. It has been, at least, two or more hours since then. Plans take time.”
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
"The question is who I wouldn't harass," she chortled. "Alas... my heart belongs to the Shadow Lord, and my children." She heard the mutterings of the house elves' of whether her heart could still beat, or whether it was blackened and leather. She turned on them and hissed, barring her teeth. They scattered.
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bar-tend, in the dark.
She flexed her pinkie finger, and narrowed her amber eyes. The application wasn’t finished yet, so she couldn’t scorch its impetuous parchment. It was an inanimate object, it couldn’t possible know her level of estimable magic, that such a thing as bar-tending was beneath her. “If you want a bar-tender, use one of those ghastly, most foul creatures.” She poked a wicked finger at the house elves.
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
She laughed; the sound was feral and pitchy. “Harry should marry me! My thirteen children need a new daddy.” She smirked cruelly.
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
“Why should the castle cease work just because you want a clear desk? Hm? If you were my underling I’d have you castrated and turned into a worm!” Thaegan flexed her jaw. “Don’t tempt me, honey.”
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
Thaegan lifted her right hand, when she angled it out horizontally, her little finger was pointed towards a congregation of house elves. "Deyiax Tinn!" she chanted. The green shield encasing her body allowed the spell, opening itself up so it could be cast. A bright golden light exploded from the ring on her pinkie, and was shot across the way. It exploded the flagstones by the congregation, erupting in debris, and wood shards from the furniture, showering the sky. The house elves cried out, jumping away from the collateral zone. Smoke billowed from the impact. Thaegan smirked deliciously.
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
Her lip curled. She had to give a bribe? She took out, from under her long sleeve, the ruby that once held a place in the Belt of Deltora. It was a most important object in her world. The Shadow Lord had entrusted her to guard it, and by giving to some fool would be the easiest way of hiding it. That cretin, Leaf, wouldn’t have a clue of its whereabouts if it was in the hands of a simpleton. She chucked the ruby onto the desk. It was a pale pink. It was pink, instead of crimson, because it was in the presence of evil.
The house elf came back with her cooked crow on a silver platter. She glowered at the creature and snatched the fowl from the plate, biting into its thigh and tearing its meat from the bone. She waited like all those who came before her.
"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. Thaegan.
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. Thaegan.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. Thaegan.
One day, marmalade the Shadow Lord will rule the world. Thaegan"
A storm was brewing over the grounds of Hogwarts. It was dark grey, angry and moving in fast. Blue lightning coursed through the cumulus. As the mass grew closer to the Hogwarts construct, the thunder clouds were reflected in the stained glass windows of the sorting room.
A face formed in the clouds, it glared at the castle and as soon as it appeared, it fell into the makings of the storm. Lightning flashed and thunder boomed. From the heart of the storm a burst of golden hot lightning streaked across the grounds of Hogwarts, piercing the window and shattering its glass everywhere. The lightning rushed to meet the flagstone floor of the sorting room. House elves dived out the way as it crashed down, breaking the floor apart and sending brick, sand and debris into the air, to rain down on the scattering elves.
When the smoke dispersed a shapely figure stood in the crater. The storm outside started, the rain being brought into the sorting room by the harsh winds. The house elves picked themselves up off the floor, staring wide-eyed at the figure that caused half the destruction of the sorting room. The woman known as Sorceress Thaegan stepped out of the crevice, her black dress meeting the floor in inky tendrils of fabric. Her silver mane moved eerily as she stared down at the ugly creatures. Her skin was as green as glass, a reflection of her shielding spell that encased her form.
One brave house elf ran up to confront her. He poked a stringy finger at her and cursed her destructive entrance. Thaegan glared down at him, barring her fang-like canines in a snarl. She hiked her dress up and kicked the house elf in the chest, sending it sprawling.
Sorceress Thaegan prowled to the desk that held her application form, the house elves parted in her wake, some scurrying away. She smelt the stench of white magic in the castle, a source for the sealing of the large doors. It reminded her of the house she had trapped those three monstrous children in; the same sort of design was involved. She came to stand over the application, the quill quivered under her reproachful glower. She read.
State your full name.
“I am Sorceress Thaegan, that is my title and you will address me as such.”
1. What is your favourite cheese? Why is it your favourite?
“Cheese,” She spat. “I do not like cheese; I prefer the rich meat of crows, of ravens and other small birds.” She licked her purple lips. “I’d have a crow carcass any day, love. In fact, fetch me a crow!” She barked at one of the slower house elves. Wishing not to meet the same fate as the last elf to go up against her, it scurried away to the kitchens.
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
She narrowed her amber eyes. “Both,” she said. “Only for their ridiculous names... I’ve killed for less.”
3. What time is it where you are?
It proved difficult to ascertain the time with her storm brewing outside. It made a warm day, darker and colder, so time seemed lost on her for the moment. “It was midday when I came to the castles grounds. It has been, at least, two or more hours since then. Plans take time.”
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
"The question is who I wouldn't harass," she chortled. "Alas... my heart belongs to the Shadow Lord, and my children." She heard the mutterings of the house elves' of whether her heart could still beat, or whether it was blackened and leather. She turned on them and hissed, barring her teeth. They scattered.
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bar-tend, in the dark.
She flexed her pinkie finger, and narrowed her amber eyes. The application wasn’t finished yet, so she couldn’t scorch its impetuous parchment. It was an inanimate object, it couldn’t possible know her level of estimable magic, that such a thing as bar-tending was beneath her. “If you want a bar-tender, use one of those ghastly, most foul creatures.” She poked a wicked finger at the house elves.
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
She laughed; the sound was feral and pitchy. “Harry should marry me! My thirteen children need a new daddy.” She smirked cruelly.
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
“Why should the castle cease work just because you want a clear desk? Hm? If you were my underling I’d have you castrated and turned into a worm!” Thaegan flexed her jaw. “Don’t tempt me, honey.”
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
Thaegan lifted her right hand, when she angled it out horizontally, her little finger was pointed towards a congregation of house elves. "Deyiax Tinn!" she chanted. The green shield encasing her body allowed the spell, opening itself up so it could be cast. A bright golden light exploded from the ring on her pinkie, and was shot across the way. It exploded the flagstones by the congregation, erupting in debris, and wood shards from the furniture, showering the sky. The house elves cried out, jumping away from the collateral zone. Smoke billowed from the impact. Thaegan smirked deliciously.
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
Her lip curled. She had to give a bribe? She took out, from under her long sleeve, the ruby that once held a place in the Belt of Deltora. It was a most important object in her world. The Shadow Lord had entrusted her to guard it, and by giving to some fool would be the easiest way of hiding it. That cretin, Leaf, wouldn’t have a clue of its whereabouts if it was in the hands of a simpleton. She chucked the ruby onto the desk. It was a pale pink. It was pink, instead of crimson, because it was in the presence of evil.
The house elf came back with her cooked crow on a silver platter. She glowered at the creature and snatched the fowl from the plate, biting into its thigh and tearing its meat from the bone. She waited like all those who came before her.
"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. Thaegan.
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. Thaegan.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. Thaegan.
One day, marmalade the Shadow Lord will rule the world. Thaegan"