Valentine's Day! (Open RP)
((OOC: As stated in the reminder post, feel free to RP in this or start your own threads. Some of the poems wander into questionable for work anyway, so we'll just call the whole post not quite work safe and feel free to take things as far as you'd like in here or into your own threads if you want. Yukimura-mun, Kuronue-mun, and Kurama-mun all had a hand in the poetry and if you really want to know, PM one of us and we can tell you who wrote what. Otherwise, the whole point of this is to laugh....which means, really, you shouldn't have things in your mouth when reading the poems. :D If you want a reminder of who asked for what, it's here. ))
Decorations appeared, pink and frilly with an occasional burst of red and tiger-y for the myriad of students who would be celebrating the Lunar New Year. Normally, they would not have bothered with the New Year, but it fell on the same day, so the decorations came across as incidental rather than deliberate. Streamers and unpopable bubbles floated around the Great Hall and those elves tapped to deliver messages. Enthusiasm was something they all possessed in abundance; talent, not so much. Just who had set them up for this or why remained a mystery they would not divulge. Each recipient was found and serenaded, with no respect to any form of musicality, wherever they happened to be at the time.
To Ofdensen from Dethklok:
There once was a man named Ofdensen
For whom metal and brutal were an ensign
And if they brought about Apocalypse,
It would have been Metalocalypse
And would even lead to the destruction of RenCen
Beryllium, titanium, iridium, cesium,
Lithium, sodium, iron, gold, zirconium,
Battery, assault, felony
Murder, mayhem, larceny,
Silver, mercury, ruthenium, plutonium.
To Mello from Near, delivered at different times:
Whips, chains, ties, and leather,
Are enough to work me into a lather.
Silence is golden, handcuffs are silver,
Together with you, they make me quiver.
The rattle of chains sound,
Within the silenced walls,
Scraping as if holding a wild hound.
The rattle of chains sound,
Holding me still while you pound
Preventing any possible falls.
The rattle of chains sound
Within silenced walls.
To Amaranth from Hogwarts:
With hair of burnished honey gold,
And delightful charms that ne'er grow old
Most of which are placed
Below her narrow waist
That she's willing to offer to she shy and bold.
Undiscriminating and also quite willing
The more unusual, the more she is thrilling
Centaurs beware
And all with much hair,
For with you, she wants to be most willing.
To Billy:
Brittle marrow or frigid stone
Cold rock or dusty bone
This heart is no fossil, for you alone.
To Lezard from Turlough:
A magician named Lezard once lusted,
The kind of man to not be trusted,
Made blood rain from the sky,
Got in the eye,
Of chinchilla's he should have roasted.
Nay but the man had some talent,
For giving these large eared rodents,
The love of another,
Which isn't quite valor,
If only he was much more ardent.
To Joachim Armster from Ancalagon the Black:
Being of many forms,
Some sort of albino,
A friend most handsome.
To Smaug the Golden from Ancalagon the Black:
Wings of summer fire,
The master of the skies,
Somewhat large in size.
To Smaug and Elric from Skwisgaar and Toki:
A dude and his dragon are
The most metal pairing by far
They ride into war,
Brutal, full bore,
Everything before them, they char
Yet, to the fat dude
Though he is quite rude,
Elric would worship
And Smaug would nip,
It's better the topic isn't pursued.
To George St. Barleigh from Glorfindel:
A change in life is
Also a chance to grow and
Learn, sparkle and shine.
To Kuronue from Snow:
Some things cannot be bought,
For too long I may have sought,
The touch of another,
One constant lover,
The one who chaos has wrought.
I may have lived by the sword,
And chased those you you adore,
Don't take my pause to heart,
Forever, I want this to last,
And I might just like, my little whore.
To Vislor Turlough from Rubeus Hagrid:
A twist of fate brought us together,
Your eyes like fire and burning embers,
With one another, we work well,
Instead of becoming a match in hell,
Today I care for you, and your sphincter.
You have given me so much,
Least of all your kind touch,
So I will linger,
With that ring on my finger,
And think badly of nonesuch.
To Baron Vladimir Harkonnen from Glorfindel:
While we may not see
Eye to eye on relations
My respect, you have.
To Shoggies from Skisgaar and Toki:
Children of throw up and gristle,
In any parents eyes, it sure a mist'll
Be seen as they watch
From just a small splotch
A new child begins to bristle.
Even as they flow in a room,
With excitement, they are abloom
As everything's so coooool,
This, the abiding rule...
The only thing missing, the sound 'vroom.'
To Lord Elrond from Glorfindel:
Elegance and grace, bound by tradition
A heart inspire by unbidden ambition
To find a new path to walk,
Dreams and desires to unlock,
This road, a delicate transition.
To Fields from Andy Bernard:
Berries, ripe, in ev'ry season
Red, perk and sweet
To be introduced
With lascivious reason;
The dog begs we should meet!
To Francium from Professor Emeritus Dumbledor:
Minus a stable
The eighty-seventh number
is rare and lovely
To Sack Joe from BEOWULF:
FOR THE SACK
HE, JOE, BEAST
I, HERO OF GEATS
CONQUER THEE, IN MY NAME
BEOWULF, BULIWYF, BE:
A WOLF
A BEAST
FOR BEAST
FOR I AM
BEOWULF.
To the Raptor from Jasper:
Ah, ferocity!
A predator adorned
with great lovely teeth
To Oly Binewski:
Crack me again with that most impressive grin
Organ-grinder in a circus of fools
Turn the handle and the people spill out
Liquor of living from between the gears
Pooling in grass green as day and sharp as knives.
Red heart day
Blood baptized day
Pulse of old men doing good
And dying badly
For women who pale near you.
To Amaranth from Zex:
Free with body and spirit,
Yours is a one night secret,
With loving hands,
And silken strands,
You're quite the classy strumpet.
To Skwisgaar from Zex:
Most metal of heart are you,
Dark and brutal you do voodoo,
You need a new hobby,
You're getting a bit sloppy,
And for you it's quite taboo.
To Toki from Skwisgaar:
Clothes and throw up children can be
A bother and quite troublesome, you see,
When nudity becomes a need
And our libidos we must heed
This, so you know, is what you do to me.
And, yet, this isn't metal enough
There is some other kinds of stuff
That we could do
That would totally rule.
Do you have a pair of handcuffs?
To Schrodinger from Wishbone by Wishbone
The catnip is green, the pillow is blue,
I really enjoy napping with you.
From the Shoggies to Toki and Skwisgaar:
Most brutal parents made from bone,
Images will be carved in a bloodstone,
Destined to become,
A most murderous kingdom,
We, your children, at the foot of the throne.
Do wish we still have a home,
When you're thrashing metal tones,
And the world ends,
All for your trends,
The guitarists syndrome.
Decorations appeared, pink and frilly with an occasional burst of red and tiger-y for the myriad of students who would be celebrating the Lunar New Year. Normally, they would not have bothered with the New Year, but it fell on the same day, so the decorations came across as incidental rather than deliberate. Streamers and unpopable bubbles floated around the Great Hall and those elves tapped to deliver messages. Enthusiasm was something they all possessed in abundance; talent, not so much. Just who had set them up for this or why remained a mystery they would not divulge. Each recipient was found and serenaded, with no respect to any form of musicality, wherever they happened to be at the time.
To Ofdensen from Dethklok:
There once was a man named Ofdensen
For whom metal and brutal were an ensign
And if they brought about Apocalypse,
It would have been Metalocalypse
And would even lead to the destruction of RenCen
Beryllium, titanium, iridium, cesium,
Lithium, sodium, iron, gold, zirconium,
Battery, assault, felony
Murder, mayhem, larceny,
Silver, mercury, ruthenium, plutonium.
To Mello from Near, delivered at different times:
Whips, chains, ties, and leather,
Are enough to work me into a lather.
Silence is golden, handcuffs are silver,
Together with you, they make me quiver.
The rattle of chains sound,
Within the silenced walls,
Scraping as if holding a wild hound.
The rattle of chains sound,
Holding me still while you pound
Preventing any possible falls.
The rattle of chains sound
Within silenced walls.
To Amaranth from Hogwarts:
With hair of burnished honey gold,
And delightful charms that ne'er grow old
Most of which are placed
Below her narrow waist
That she's willing to offer to she shy and bold.
Undiscriminating and also quite willing
The more unusual, the more she is thrilling
Centaurs beware
And all with much hair,
For with you, she wants to be most willing.
To Billy:
Brittle marrow or frigid stone
Cold rock or dusty bone
This heart is no fossil, for you alone.
To Lezard from Turlough:
A magician named Lezard once lusted,
The kind of man to not be trusted,
Made blood rain from the sky,
Got in the eye,
Of chinchilla's he should have roasted.
Nay but the man had some talent,
For giving these large eared rodents,
The love of another,
Which isn't quite valor,
If only he was much more ardent.
To Joachim Armster from Ancalagon the Black:
Being of many forms,
Some sort of albino,
A friend most handsome.
To Smaug the Golden from Ancalagon the Black:
Wings of summer fire,
The master of the skies,
Somewhat large in size.
To Smaug and Elric from Skwisgaar and Toki:
A dude and his dragon are
The most metal pairing by far
They ride into war,
Brutal, full bore,
Everything before them, they char
Yet, to the fat dude
Though he is quite rude,
Elric would worship
And Smaug would nip,
It's better the topic isn't pursued.
To George St. Barleigh from Glorfindel:
A change in life is
Also a chance to grow and
Learn, sparkle and shine.
To Kuronue from Snow:
Some things cannot be bought,
For too long I may have sought,
The touch of another,
One constant lover,
The one who chaos has wrought.
I may have lived by the sword,
And chased those you you adore,
Don't take my pause to heart,
Forever, I want this to last,
And I might just like, my little whore.
To Vislor Turlough from Rubeus Hagrid:
A twist of fate brought us together,
Your eyes like fire and burning embers,
With one another, we work well,
Instead of becoming a match in hell,
Today I care for you, and your sphincter.
You have given me so much,
Least of all your kind touch,
So I will linger,
With that ring on my finger,
And think badly of nonesuch.
To Baron Vladimir Harkonnen from Glorfindel:
While we may not see
Eye to eye on relations
My respect, you have.
To Shoggies from Skisgaar and Toki:
Children of throw up and gristle,
In any parents eyes, it sure a mist'll
Be seen as they watch
From just a small splotch
A new child begins to bristle.
Even as they flow in a room,
With excitement, they are abloom
As everything's so coooool,
This, the abiding rule...
The only thing missing, the sound 'vroom.'
To Lord Elrond from Glorfindel:
Elegance and grace, bound by tradition
A heart inspire by unbidden ambition
To find a new path to walk,
Dreams and desires to unlock,
This road, a delicate transition.
To Fields from Andy Bernard:
Berries, ripe, in ev'ry season
Red, perk and sweet
To be introduced
With lascivious reason;
The dog begs we should meet!
To Francium from Professor Emeritus Dumbledor:
Minus a stable
The eighty-seventh number
is rare and lovely
To Sack Joe from BEOWULF:
FOR THE SACK
HE, JOE, BEAST
I, HERO OF GEATS
CONQUER THEE, IN MY NAME
BEOWULF, BULIWYF, BE:
A WOLF
A BEAST
FOR BEAST
FOR I AM
BEOWULF.
To the Raptor from Jasper:
Ah, ferocity!
A predator adorned
with great lovely teeth
To Oly Binewski:
Crack me again with that most impressive grin
Organ-grinder in a circus of fools
Turn the handle and the people spill out
Liquor of living from between the gears
Pooling in grass green as day and sharp as knives.
Red heart day
Blood baptized day
Pulse of old men doing good
And dying badly
For women who pale near you.
To Amaranth from Zex:
Free with body and spirit,
Yours is a one night secret,
With loving hands,
And silken strands,
You're quite the classy strumpet.
To Skwisgaar from Zex:
Most metal of heart are you,
Dark and brutal you do voodoo,
You need a new hobby,
You're getting a bit sloppy,
And for you it's quite taboo.
To Toki from Skwisgaar:
Clothes and throw up children can be
A bother and quite troublesome, you see,
When nudity becomes a need
And our libidos we must heed
This, so you know, is what you do to me.
And, yet, this isn't metal enough
There is some other kinds of stuff
That we could do
That would totally rule.
Do you have a pair of handcuffs?
To Schrodinger from Wishbone by Wishbone
The catnip is green, the pillow is blue,
I really enjoy napping with you.
From the Shoggies to Toki and Skwisgaar:
Most brutal parents made from bone,
Images will be carved in a bloodstone,
Destined to become,
A most murderous kingdom,
We, your children, at the foot of the throne.
Do wish we still have a home,
When you're thrashing metal tones,
And the world ends,
All for your trends,
The guitarists syndrome.