Application-Lady Margolotta Von Uberwald- Discworld
Still carrying a steaming cup of ox-blood she stepped into the Sorting Room. Early middle-aged, not tall she seemed taken aback for a moment, then seemed to make up her mind. A small smile crossed her face as she read the paper in front of her.
State your full name. "In short form I am Lady Margolotta Amaya Katerina Assumpta Crassina Von Uberwald as you should already know if my appearence here isn't an accident...why am I speaking Morporkian?"
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
"You have kidnapped me to ask questions about cheese? Do I understand that correctly?" It would not do to become upset- besides anyone who had the capabilities to remove her from her castle was someone she wanted to know more about. "I'm hardly qualified to judge although cheesemaking is vital to rural economies and culture." She smiled. "The Uberwaldean cheeses would be my favorites, then." She stood patiently, waiting for the wizards to reveal themselves.
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
She took a sip of her drink. "I don't kill, though I have had criminals executed. It's a fine and not necessarily important distinction but even one drop would be too much, after all these years." She gave a faint smile that faded quickly.
3. What time is it where you are?
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
She read the question, then reread it, shaking her head. "I think you misunderstand the nature of my position. I have not heard of this Order of the Phoenix, and I have ears everywhere. Tell me."
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
She shook her head. "I am not applying to be a barmaid so I hardly see that it matters. If you want advice, I'd suggest naming it something folkloresque for the tourists." She sighed to indicate her patience was not limited, took a sip out of her mug and made a face. "Cold."
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
"Harry...those aren't Dwarf names. Are these people incapable of sorting out their own affairs? Or perhaps they are mortal royalty." She gave a sympathetic, but pointed smile. "There are other forms of rulership that create much more stable countries."
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
"Good assistants are so hard to find." she spoke sympathetically. "I always keep an eye out for promising people. Failing that, a pool of scouts would work."
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
"That is a good question. I always ask that one of people. I have...let me see...contributed to peace-talks between the Dwarfs and Trolls, overseen the government of Uberwald, seen to the education of the surviving Orcs and taught young Havelock (who has shaped up to be quite the ruler, if a little more lax than I would expect.)" She gave a dazzling smile. "So yes! I may not have been right in all my actions, but I am far from useless."
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
"Bribes? And I was beginning to think there was a mistake. Very well, we can negotiate. I offer you the opportunity to kidnap a Lady and return her to her home without political reprisals. What do you offer?"
State your full name. "In short form I am Lady Margolotta Amaya Katerina Assumpta Crassina Von Uberwald as you should already know if my appearence here isn't an accident...why am I speaking Morporkian?"
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
"You have kidnapped me to ask questions about cheese? Do I understand that correctly?" It would not do to become upset- besides anyone who had the capabilities to remove her from her castle was someone she wanted to know more about. "I'm hardly qualified to judge although cheesemaking is vital to rural economies and culture." She smiled. "The Uberwaldean cheeses would be my favorites, then." She stood patiently, waiting for the wizards to reveal themselves.
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
She took a sip of her drink. "I don't kill, though I have had criminals executed. It's a fine and not necessarily important distinction but even one drop would be too much, after all these years." She gave a faint smile that faded quickly.
3. What time is it where you are?
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
She read the question, then reread it, shaking her head. "I think you misunderstand the nature of my position. I have not heard of this Order of the Phoenix, and I have ears everywhere. Tell me."
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
She shook her head. "I am not applying to be a barmaid so I hardly see that it matters. If you want advice, I'd suggest naming it something folkloresque for the tourists." She sighed to indicate her patience was not limited, took a sip out of her mug and made a face. "Cold."
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
"Harry...those aren't Dwarf names. Are these people incapable of sorting out their own affairs? Or perhaps they are mortal royalty." She gave a sympathetic, but pointed smile. "There are other forms of rulership that create much more stable countries."
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
"Good assistants are so hard to find." she spoke sympathetically. "I always keep an eye out for promising people. Failing that, a pool of scouts would work."
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
"That is a good question. I always ask that one of people. I have...let me see...contributed to peace-talks between the Dwarfs and Trolls, overseen the government of Uberwald, seen to the education of the surviving Orcs and taught young Havelock (who has shaped up to be quite the ruler, if a little more lax than I would expect.)" She gave a dazzling smile. "So yes! I may not have been right in all my actions, but I am far from useless."
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
"Bribes? And I was beginning to think there was a mistake. Very well, we can negotiate. I offer you the opportunity to kidnap a Lady and return her to her home without political reprisals. What do you offer?"