Application for Laori Vaus (Pathfinder RPG, "Curse of the Crimson Throne")
A small elf woman in skintight hooked chainmail stood in the sorting room. "What on... this can't be Xovaikain! For one thing, there's not enough black. But if my Dark Prince hasn't summoned me, what mortal could do something like this? And why would they want to, anyway? If this is a practical joke, I'll have to return the favor once I get some answers." Maybe that piece of parchment would have more information.
State your full name.
Laori Vaus
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
I like any kind, as long as it has some flavor. Cheeses are like surgical implements - the sharper the better! ^_^
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
I've killed plenty of humanoids, but never a stuffed purple dinosaur, so I would have to say Barney - I believe in pursuing new experiences. Life is so much more fun that way!
Carrottop, I think I'd just play with a bit. I heard once that all the great comedians were truly miserable at some point in their lives. Maybe after a little quality time with me, he'd actually be funny. ^_^
3. What time is it where you are?
A few minutes after midnight.
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
Oh, what an embarrassment of riches. I'd definitely like to get to know Snape better. He's my kind of guy, you could say - so bitter, so brooding, spends time in dimly-lit subterranean spaces... the man's practically a Kuthite already! I think we could learn a lot from each other, if you know what I mean. ;)
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
Bartending in the dark! What a marvelous idea! :D I can't believe my church hasn't taken the practice up yet. Everyone knows how thirsty long torture sessions can get, but the way we do things now, you have to find an acolyte whose robes aren't too bloodstained and send them out to find a tavern that's still open... having an in-dungeon bar would be much better. Oh, and I'd call mine "Experience Beyond Limits."
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
I say that Harry should set up some sort of trial in which Fred and George can compete to prove their love for him. He shouldn't make it too easy - what is won without tears is possessed without pleasure, as the saying goes, and besides, anyone who isn't willing to risk a little light maiming for true love isn't worth the effort in my book.
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
Sounds like your subordinates need more serious motivation. ;)
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
I don't like to brag, but I'm really good at hurting people. ^_^ Both in the fun way, and in the straightforward "would you just die now?" way. I'm also a fully ordained cleric of Zon-Kuthon, so if you need someone to preside at your weddings, funerals, blood sacrifices, ritual mass flagellations, and other occasions of religious solemnity, I can do it. And for those of you who are interested in leatherworking, I have a real talent for skinning things. ^_^
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
Hmmm... for those of you who like modern art, I have a few Salvator Scream originals here. I'd originally intended to give them to my church, but since I'm stranded here, I see nothing wrong with giving them to someone who'd appreciate them. He's really one of our greatest living artists. I never saw someone who could put such pure expressive agony into a painting of a naked skull.
I could also make you a custom Kuthite-style leather outfit, with hooks or spikes as you prefer, made from the skin of whatever creature you like. And of course, if any of you feel the need for a spiritual adviser, I'm always prepared to listen.
I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. ____L_V_______
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. __L_V________.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. ___L_V_______.
One day, marmalade The Midnight Lord will rule the world. ___L_V_________
State your full name.
Laori Vaus
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
I like any kind, as long as it has some flavor. Cheeses are like surgical implements - the sharper the better! ^_^
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
I've killed plenty of humanoids, but never a stuffed purple dinosaur, so I would have to say Barney - I believe in pursuing new experiences. Life is so much more fun that way!
Carrottop, I think I'd just play with a bit. I heard once that all the great comedians were truly miserable at some point in their lives. Maybe after a little quality time with me, he'd actually be funny. ^_^
3. What time is it where you are?
A few minutes after midnight.
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
Oh, what an embarrassment of riches. I'd definitely like to get to know Snape better. He's my kind of guy, you could say - so bitter, so brooding, spends time in dimly-lit subterranean spaces... the man's practically a Kuthite already! I think we could learn a lot from each other, if you know what I mean. ;)
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
Bartending in the dark! What a marvelous idea! :D I can't believe my church hasn't taken the practice up yet. Everyone knows how thirsty long torture sessions can get, but the way we do things now, you have to find an acolyte whose robes aren't too bloodstained and send them out to find a tavern that's still open... having an in-dungeon bar would be much better. Oh, and I'd call mine "Experience Beyond Limits."
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
I say that Harry should set up some sort of trial in which Fred and George can compete to prove their love for him. He shouldn't make it too easy - what is won without tears is possessed without pleasure, as the saying goes, and besides, anyone who isn't willing to risk a little light maiming for true love isn't worth the effort in my book.
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
Sounds like your subordinates need more serious motivation. ;)
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
I don't like to brag, but I'm really good at hurting people. ^_^ Both in the fun way, and in the straightforward "would you just die now?" way. I'm also a fully ordained cleric of Zon-Kuthon, so if you need someone to preside at your weddings, funerals, blood sacrifices, ritual mass flagellations, and other occasions of religious solemnity, I can do it. And for those of you who are interested in leatherworking, I have a real talent for skinning things. ^_^
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
Hmmm... for those of you who like modern art, I have a few Salvator Scream originals here. I'd originally intended to give them to my church, but since I'm stranded here, I see nothing wrong with giving them to someone who'd appreciate them. He's really one of our greatest living artists. I never saw someone who could put such pure expressive agony into a painting of a naked skull.
I could also make you a custom Kuthite-style leather outfit, with hooks or spikes as you prefer, made from the skin of whatever creature you like. And of course, if any of you feel the need for a spiritual adviser, I'm always prepared to listen.
I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. ____L_V_______
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. __L_V________.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. ___L_V_______.
One day, marmalade The Midnight Lord will rule the world. ___L_V_________