Demotivational Posters ((Squib bait app))
A rectangular object appears within the Sorting Room, floating before one of the walls. A black frame with an ever shifting array of images within. Words appear and disappear.
An image of character dressed in all black, full-masked helmet over his head, standing in water, pouring water from one pitcher to another. Under it, the words, "Sense, this image makes none."
The dictaquil waits, tapping on the paper under it. Another image solidified of a man running behind a woman with a sunset behind them, revealing only their black outlines. Under it, "Persistence. It's over, man. Let her go."
The quill tapped again, appearing to grow irritated. An image of vultures circling in the sky appeared. Under it, the legend, "Hope. May not be warranted at this point."
The quill wrote something of its own on the paper, perhaps freed by the same magic that allowed the Sorting Hat to rule the school. A crude drawing of a serving of french fries. Under it, the quill wrote, "Potential. Not everyone gets to be an astronaut when they grow up."
The image paused a moment, blank. Then, a room with a television and couch appeared. "Propaganda. What lies behind us and lies before us are small matters compared with what lies right to our face."
The quill drew a crude sketch of a mechanism. "Worth. Just because your necessary doesn't mean your important."
With that, the poster seemed to sigh and give up.
State your full name.
On the poster, a room with no furniture and a single person sitting by a far wall appeared. "Demotivation. Sometimes the best solution to morale problems is just to fire all the unhappy people."
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
Several images flashed over the poster's center until it finally settled on a clear container of lemon slices with a red label that said 'Cream.' Under the image, "Lies, that's not cream."
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
Several images of nature and men in camouflage until settling on one of a few thin trees with leaves in the background. Under it, "Survival. The less you stand out, the longer you last."
3. What time is it where you are?
An image of a old grandfather clock without hands appeared. "Time. A broken clock can be right twice a day."
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
The images rippled. Several of rather attractive women flickered through before settling on one of a very pale woman with the caption of "Curves. If I wanted to have sex with someone with the body of a twelve year old Chinese boy, I would have sex with a twelve year old Chinese boy." After another rippling of images, a corpse on a rock with a man behind it giving a rather excited thumbs up. "Necrophilia. It's not rape if they're dead."
5. If you are pushing to be in:
An image flickered into the poster, a bear with it's mouth open, a salmon jumping into it. "Ambition. The journey of a thousand miles sometimes ends very, very badly."
The quill tapped impatiently and the poster cleared.
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
An image of a sandcastle appears, supported by a thin pillar above the beach. "Marketing. Because making it look good now is more important than providing adequate support later."
The quill tapped impatiently again.
The image on the poster went jagged as if it was irritated. Several images flickered through, then finally a night scene of a forest with a sliver of a moon in the sky behind several tall pines. "Madness. Madness does not always howl. Sometimes, it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, 'Hey, is there room in your head for one more?'"
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
The images on the poster rippled, though this time the edges were softer, perhaps with amusement. A picture of a rose appeared with the legend, "Destiny. You were meant for me. Perhaps as a punishment." Another image, a rainbow over a sunset colored lake. "Dreams. Dreams are like rainbows. Only idiots chase them." A third image appeared, a chain with a broken link being stretched to the point that the other links were almost off it. "Dysfunction. The only consistent feature in all of your dissatisfying relationships is you."
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
A shadow of the words 'hahaha' may have been seen in the poster, but they were gone too quickly for the quill to catch them if the had been there. A picture of a runner sitting on a bench with his hands in his head appeared. "Failure. When your best just isn't good enough." Then, two red-breasted birds with a worm between them. "Do it later. The early worm is for the birds." Then, one more picture. Two hands, one bringing a baton down, the other coming up to catch it. "Blame. The secret to success is knowing who to blame for failures."
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
Again, amusement seemed to ripple through the poster before it solidified into a picture of the pyramids in Egypt. "Achievement. You can do anything you set your mind to when you have vision, determination, and an endless supply of expendable labor."
The quill did not seem amused by the answer, but it continued on.
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
A picture of a horse with its nose in the tail of another horse appears. "Flattery. If you want to get to the top, prepare to kiss a lot of the bottom."
"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. _____X_______
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. _____X______.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. _____X______.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. _____X________"
((OOC: Obviously squibbait ;) Also, most of the sayings are from Despair.com, though some are from Demotivationals.org (caution, a lot of these are NSFW), Motifake.com and some from random google image searches. None of them are original to me. Just so you know ;) ))
An image of character dressed in all black, full-masked helmet over his head, standing in water, pouring water from one pitcher to another. Under it, the words, "Sense, this image makes none."
The dictaquil waits, tapping on the paper under it. Another image solidified of a man running behind a woman with a sunset behind them, revealing only their black outlines. Under it, "Persistence. It's over, man. Let her go."
The quill tapped again, appearing to grow irritated. An image of vultures circling in the sky appeared. Under it, the legend, "Hope. May not be warranted at this point."
The quill wrote something of its own on the paper, perhaps freed by the same magic that allowed the Sorting Hat to rule the school. A crude drawing of a serving of french fries. Under it, the quill wrote, "Potential. Not everyone gets to be an astronaut when they grow up."
The image paused a moment, blank. Then, a room with a television and couch appeared. "Propaganda. What lies behind us and lies before us are small matters compared with what lies right to our face."
The quill drew a crude sketch of a mechanism. "Worth. Just because your necessary doesn't mean your important."
With that, the poster seemed to sigh and give up.
State your full name.
On the poster, a room with no furniture and a single person sitting by a far wall appeared. "Demotivation. Sometimes the best solution to morale problems is just to fire all the unhappy people."
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
Several images flashed over the poster's center until it finally settled on a clear container of lemon slices with a red label that said 'Cream.' Under the image, "Lies, that's not cream."
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
Several images of nature and men in camouflage until settling on one of a few thin trees with leaves in the background. Under it, "Survival. The less you stand out, the longer you last."
3. What time is it where you are?
An image of a old grandfather clock without hands appeared. "Time. A broken clock can be right twice a day."
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
The images rippled. Several of rather attractive women flickered through before settling on one of a very pale woman with the caption of "Curves. If I wanted to have sex with someone with the body of a twelve year old Chinese boy, I would have sex with a twelve year old Chinese boy." After another rippling of images, a corpse on a rock with a man behind it giving a rather excited thumbs up. "Necrophilia. It's not rape if they're dead."
5. If you are pushing to be in:
An image flickered into the poster, a bear with it's mouth open, a salmon jumping into it. "Ambition. The journey of a thousand miles sometimes ends very, very badly."
The quill tapped impatiently and the poster cleared.
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
An image of a sandcastle appears, supported by a thin pillar above the beach. "Marketing. Because making it look good now is more important than providing adequate support later."
The quill tapped impatiently again.
The image on the poster went jagged as if it was irritated. Several images flickered through, then finally a night scene of a forest with a sliver of a moon in the sky behind several tall pines. "Madness. Madness does not always howl. Sometimes, it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, 'Hey, is there room in your head for one more?'"
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
The images on the poster rippled, though this time the edges were softer, perhaps with amusement. A picture of a rose appeared with the legend, "Destiny. You were meant for me. Perhaps as a punishment." Another image, a rainbow over a sunset colored lake. "Dreams. Dreams are like rainbows. Only idiots chase them." A third image appeared, a chain with a broken link being stretched to the point that the other links were almost off it. "Dysfunction. The only consistent feature in all of your dissatisfying relationships is you."
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
A shadow of the words 'hahaha' may have been seen in the poster, but they were gone too quickly for the quill to catch them if the had been there. A picture of a runner sitting on a bench with his hands in his head appeared. "Failure. When your best just isn't good enough." Then, two red-breasted birds with a worm between them. "Do it later. The early worm is for the birds." Then, one more picture. Two hands, one bringing a baton down, the other coming up to catch it. "Blame. The secret to success is knowing who to blame for failures."
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
Again, amusement seemed to ripple through the poster before it solidified into a picture of the pyramids in Egypt. "Achievement. You can do anything you set your mind to when you have vision, determination, and an endless supply of expendable labor."
The quill did not seem amused by the answer, but it continued on.
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
A picture of a horse with its nose in the tail of another horse appears. "Flattery. If you want to get to the top, prepare to kiss a lot of the bottom."
"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. _____X_______
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. _____X______.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. _____X______.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. _____X________"
((OOC: Obviously squibbait ;) Also, most of the sayings are from Despair.com, though some are from Demotivationals.org (caution, a lot of these are NSFW), Motifake.com and some from random google image searches. None of them are original to me. Just so you know ;) ))