Application for Kuronue (Yu Yu Hakusho)

[prettypendulum]

Startled profanity announced Kuronue's appearance in the sorting room. Twisting at the waist and peaking over his shoulder to look around rather warily, as well as curiously, he let loose another mumbled tangle of words that may or may not have made much sense to anyone who was close enough to hear. He wasn't quite sure what he'd said himself he

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[serrulata]

Such things Kurama should have come to expect. He'd come running the instant he felt the familiar youki, and now he lingered in the doorway to the sorting room, watching, trying to recall just how much time it had been since he had seen Kuronue. The real Kuronue, not some cheap, evil imitation.

He wondered if Kuronue would be able to see the years on him, the time that had passed since... that. Had Kuronue come instantly from his death, or lingered in the afterlife? Whatever time had gone by, it had done nothing to lessen Kuronue's sense of humor, at the very least.

"So free with a kiss," he managed after a while, contriving to keep his voice level, casual. "Will you ever change?"

[prettypendulum]

Deciding how to react on meeting the one that you died for was...difficult. As it were, Kuronue sort of froze for a while at the voice that he remembered so very well, and turned. He kept a reasonable distance between them.

He smiled weakly at Kurama. "Not likely." His eyes dropped, and he took Kurama in. The years perhaps had changed Kurama. It made something inside ache. "It seems you have though."

[serrulata]

"It was difficult not to," he admitted, his voice dropping near a whisper. Why, suddenly, did he feel the need to grieve again? Kuronue was here, alive, and even the cruelly reopened wounds that that Yakumo's failed attempt at usurping Reikai didn't leave such pain behind as this.He shouldn't be mourning a reunion, but celebrating it. Yet he couldn't bring himself to feel more than a fleeting sense of joy. The years suddenly seemed a heavier weight than they had before.

After a moment he said, "I missed you."

[prettypendulum]

Kuronue would have like-wise been elated had he not been suspicious and confused. the other demon that smelt a lot like Kurama...

Well it wasn't hard to put two and two together and he felt...cheated, in a way. Though he knew he shouldn't.

With this in mind he made his way over to Kurama and wrapped his arms around Kurama before he changed his mind about the fleeting urge. He pulled Kurama in close and rested his cheek against Kurama's. He let himself simply be happy to have Kurama in his arms again for a moment, feeling like the time that he had to hold him was borrowed.

He give a spoken reply, he figured the hug was enough to convey how much he felt...had felt for his partner.

[serrulata]

Kurama tensed, surprised, then relaxed, returning the embrace under a wave of regret and sadness.

If I had waited, was the horrible thought, if I had only waited a little while...

He allowed the embrace a while longer before pulling away slightly, still within touching distance, his hands lingering on Kuronue's arms. "Much has changed," he said, avoiding Kuronue's eyes. "How... has any time passed for you?"

[prettypendulum]

He knew it. He knew it.

Kuronue fought to keep the black rage at bay. It wasn't his place to feel angry about something he'd...given up a long time ago. Still, his eyes were hard while he stared at Kurama, running his fingers through his hair, simply because it'd been so long since he'd been able to and he wasn't sure how he'd be answered were he to ask.

"Slow," he said simply. And it had. It had been peaceful, in an agonising kind of way.

He hesitated for a moment before he asked, "Just how much has changed, Kurama?"

[serrulata]

He closed his eyes, trying and failing to force the expression of dismay from his face.

"I died," he began, his voice still very soft. Any louder, and it would break. "And escaped. I was reborn as a human, nineteen years ago. Then I came here." An obscenely abridged version of his life, but long explanations could wait for later. "I..." he almost thought of naming Kusuriyuri his lover, but that didn't evoke the permanence of their relationship. "I have taken a mate."

[prettypendulum]

To hear that Kurama had died...well it was hard to accept. He felt as if he'd failed, in a way. And then the mention of a mate, not just a regular lover, floored him. His eyes widened a little, his hand paused against his cheek.

He isn't sure which he wanted to address first. "...A mate?"

[serrulata]

"Yes." He bowed his head slightly. Kusuriyuri had been here before him, he could smell the lingering scent of herbal medicines and cat still in the air. "You have met him."

[prettypendulum]

He winced. He'd known that there was a connection between the two, but he hadn't expected something quite as strong as that!

His hand slips beneath Kurama's chin and tilts his head up. "Don't hide from me, Kurama. Never from me. Look at me."

"Kusuriyuri?" he asked, just to be sure. His eyes betraying nothing of the ache he didn't dare dignify with a name.

[serrulata]

"Yes," he said again, meeting Kuronue's eyes levelly, though unable to really hide the emotion behind them. Another by-product of the years they had spent apart; once he had been so good at concealing his feelings. He'd done it with Kuronue almost constantly, never really admitting what he felt (to himself as well as Kuronue) until it was far too late.

"Yes. He is... very dear to me." How much pain would that admission cause, he wondered?

[prettypendulum]

There had been a faint hope, but now it was crushed and Kuronue couldn't help but let it spill out past his control. He grimaced, his eyes turning sad. The pain ran deep indeed. He hadn't been prepared to give up this much when he'd told Kurama to save himself.

While the words sunk in, he fisted his hand in Kurama's hair and cupped either side of his face, stroking down his neck and cheeks. It was...hard to accept it.

He wasn't sure he could.

[serrulata]

Desperate, painful remembrance shocked him to stillness. It suddenly occurred to him that it had been so terribly long since Kuronue had touched him... that he had forgotten what that touch felt like.

Tentatively, almost fearfully, he brought his hands to Kuronue's face, tracing over what had once been so sharply familiar to his hands.

"I don't know what to say," he confessed, again dropping his voice to avoid the indignity of it breaking on him.

[prettypendulum]

Kuronue knew what to say. It'd been on the tip of his tongue for a while now.

"How long after I died...did you die too? What happened that caused the great Youko Kurama to fall?" he whispered, not sure he wanted to keep his normal loud and confident tone. He basked in the feel of Kurama's fingertips, even turning his face into the hands.

He quelled the urge to kiss those hands. They weren't his to kiss.

[serrulata]

"Centuries, but..." he hadn't been the same after that. He'd spent decades doing nothing but killing anyone and anything in his path, murdering without conscious, trying to fill the void of pain that Kuronue's death had left behind. Kuronue didn't need to know that.

"A hunter. a ver skilled one, and I-" had stopped caring whether I was alive or dead "had been reckless. Inari was waiting for me, so I ran, possessed a human child." He realized, belatedly and with no little embarrassment, that his hands were shaking. "I am not so great as anyone thinks."

[prettypendulum]

He hushed Kurama sharply, not wanting to hear such self-depreciating words come from Kurama. It wasn't right. He placed a finger over Kurama's lips, and it lingered perhaps longer than it should have, before he transferred his hands to wrap them around Kurama's.

"But you are alive now," he said quietly. "I am glad for it. I would have felt much worse had I found out that you had died."

Secretly he wondered if it would have hurt less if Kurama had died then. If they both had.