I am Rin Tezuka (Katawa Shoujo). And this is Hogwarts. This application is... interesting.

[meh_feet]

A young woman - red-headed, green eyed, barefoot, and, curiously, with the sleeves of her (male) Hogwarts uniform tied off where her elbows would be, slowly slumps into the room. On seeing the application form and quill, her face has a bare twitch. "Tch," she says, drawing up her leg.

To her surprise, the (Quick Quotes) Quill writes down, Tch.

Comments

[bigredbernard]

Andy Bernard had a problem. (Just one?) He had a specific problem, today, in the Sorting Room, where he was waiting for his own Sorting to be completed.

He had just been informed that, without a thorough knowledge of Japanese culture, he could not consider himself a true Renaissance man

[meh_feet]

"I know very little about most of Japan. Small town in Nagano. For... special needs students. I could tell you about that. DIsability rights. In Japan."

She blinks, and smiles. "Ramune. Lemon lime soda. Unique visual design. Also, designed so that you can only sip, not chug. Therefore, you enjoy longer."

[bigredbernard]

"Okay." Andy didn't sound convinced. "So you can't, like, do the Dew. Bummer. What about kancho? Is that for real, or is it an 'urban legend'?" For no apparent reason, he bracketed the phrase with air quotes, using his fingers as indicators.

[meh_feet]

"No one at the Academy practiced it. Some of their younger relatives did, when the visited. Hisao nearly died. ...Literally. It happens. It is childish."

She sighs. "These are minor points. Trivial. As essential to Japan as hot dogs are to America or lemon curd to Britain."

She blinks. "There is a word. It is useful. It is Japanese. It is untranslatable with a single word. Or sentence. Homework for you? So to speak. Translate 'wabi' into English, in one paragraph. It is... more essential."

[bigredbernard]

Andy blinked. "Oh-kay, buuuuut I don't speak Japanese. So I can't translate Japanese into English, 'cause the word's meaning is something I don't know. Guess I could wing it. By the way? Hot dogs? Totally essential to America," he affirmed. "That and apple pie. Whatevs. Tell me more about this near-death by kancho. Did it really happen to someone you know? Like a friend of a friend? One of my professors told me that almost every urban legend happens to a 'friend of a friend'. A FOAF." Andy pronounced it fo-aff.

[meh_feet]

"Transmission of information? Stories?" she mutters to herself.

She raises her eyebrows. "Hot dogs are American. American is not hot dogs. That difference is what I mean. Kancho may be Japanese, and Ramune may be Japanese - but Japan is not Ramune or Kancho."

She thought for a while. "I recommend you look up that word, if you don't know. But. Example. Other than your homework," she adds with a smile. "Shikata Ga Nai. 'It cannot be helped?' Yes. But not only. Strong connotation of 'so find what CAN be done.' Very Japanese - by way of Buddhism."

(and in answer)

[meh_feet]

She said, voice icy, "Yamaku Academy is for the physically disabled. Some of our issues are obvious. Some are not. Hisao's is not."

She sighs, takes a deep breath, then pierces Andy with an uncommonly cold stare. "His is a heart condition. Arrythmia. His heart is weak, and prone to misfire. The shock nearly gave him a heart attack. A fatal one."

"At that stage in our relationship," she said that slowly and carefully, "that was enough for me to snarl at the child. Who could not have known better. Then, to his parents. Who SHOULD HAVE."

(replying to both halves of her reply)

[bigredbernard]

Andy shook his head sadly.

"You're right. I see the error of my ways. Japan is so much more than Benihana. Japan," he stressed the word and made a decisive air-chopping hand motion for emphasis, "is more than ramune. Japan is more than even kancho. Japan is ... Benihana and ramune and kancho, AND. Sumo. Sumo wrestlers and their special underpants. And Iiiiii am going to wear those underpants. Because I need to truly appreciate Japanese culture. In this way, Andy Bernard will become a citizen of the world

Re: (replying to both halves of her reply)

[meh_feet]

"..." She sighs, then tries, with mild success, to smile. "Hanlon's Razor," she says, apparently apropos of nothing. Then she says, slowly and carefully, "I will do my best to assist you in your education in my culture, Bernard... san." This last is said through gritted teeth. "Anything I can do to... educate... the people here on... the context... of my situation, I would love to."

[bigredbernard]

Andy clapped his hands. "Killer. We are gonna have some good times, gettin' our culture on. By which I mean gettin' your culture on. We should totally form a club." Eat your heart out, Finer Things Club! "We could call it ..." He made a broad gesture with his hands as though unfurling a banner. "Culture Club."

The Nard Dog could be a karma chameleon, if the occasion demanded!

[meh_feet]

"...that... would... actually be a good idea. ...Educational," she says, her teeth un-gritting just a little.

[bigredbernard]

"Culture Club! Be there or be square. O~~~~kay, I can't vote for ya, 'cause I'm still waiting on the admissions committee's decision myself. See you at Orientation! Konnichiwa!"

He bowed again.

It was a safe bet that he'd picked up that bit of Japanese vocabulary from some random occurrence devoid of context -- a sketch comedy show, for instance, or a trip to his beloved Benihana -- since clearly he had no idea what it meant.

[meh_feet]

"Yes," she said. "...good luck. And..." she sighs, but she may as well start him used to using it right... "Ja matane."