Potions Office Hours: Valentine Feels Bored and Scholarly

[degeneratewolfe]

Valentine had some time back returned from his year away, scouring the world for new and interesting substances and experiences. And oh, what a year it had been. But he was here now, back to the large, odd castle and the house elves who cowered justifiably every time he walked by, and life had regained a pace of a sort.

Valentine hated monotony

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[i_am_harkonnen]

((My apologies for the slow reply, and Vlad's frequent TL;DRing!))

"I'd be interested to hear more of your native Imperium, if it would please you to speak of it at some point. There's little to do at Hogwarts besides seeking ways to relieve boredom, but it is and interesting place for comparative sociology, which can be useful. It's always intriguing to learn exactly how things work." Especially people. It helped to pull puppet's strings- people who thought they were making a choice, no matter how constrained and unpleasant, could be amazingly effective. The right well-phrased words and motivations could sway anyone- he took particular pride in having used this to suborn the supposedly unbreakable loyalty of a Suk doctor.

But, there were more immediately interesting topics at hand- namely Valentine himself. He was he lovely in an unusually evocative way, and to all appearances, a dedicated hedonist, which he could appreciate. the Baron leaned towards Valentine as he listened to him, finding his grin and words exceptionally evocative, and wondering just how flexible he might prove in his taboo-shattering tastes. Vladimir's hedonistic interests were ordered somewhat different than Valentine's, with sex and violence topping the list, but he could appreciate any substances that could make these things more enjoyable. His slightly crooked grin lingered, the lechery blatant, undisguised, and unquestionably directed at Valentine himself. "I can always appreciate a man who enjoys the exploring possibilities and potentials, and shattering taboos. They exist to be broken, to add some color and spice to existence. And such a drug sounds fascinating, certain to drive away at least a few hours of ennui." The Baron thought Valentine's pale body naked across his bed would work very well for this, and potentially for more than just a few hours- he was proving engaging company even with his clothes on.

Vladimir smiled slightly at Valentine's rapt interest in the Spice, and called for his house-elf, telling her to bring a bottle of red wine and glasses, quickly. She seemingly popped out of existence, and returned seconds later with the requested items before vanishing again. Vladimir uncorked the bottle, a high quality vintage he'd had stored in his room, with a simple accio spell, and filled the glasses, explaining, "The Spice is often mixed with something else, food or drink- one needs take very little of it for an effect. It's extremely potent- I find it complements red wines very well." He carefully tapped out some bluish granules from his spice container, somewhat more than a standard medicinal dose, enough to produce an obvious physical and mental effect. He offered a glass to Valentine, letting him choose which, not that either glass was tainted.

[degeneratewolfe]

((Arg, browser crashed and ate the reply where I said basically no problem since I'm not a lightning-tagger myself lately and I rather like reading the TL;DR :-P Making it not so much DR.))

"Perhaps, at some point." Some time not now. The past was exactly that, and in no danger of going anywhere. The Spice, however was right here. He watched the Baron's actions and listened to his description of the substance, eying the granules greedily.

He took the offered glass, indifferent to the possibility of being poisoned. For one, there was no danger of being killed here. And secondly, he outright welcomed finding a new substance that could have an effect--any effect--on his tremendously changed physiology. He swirled the glass, taking a whiff as would a normal person drinking a normal glass of wine. Above the scent of grapes and alcohol, he could smell that cinnamon scent that the Baron had mentioned. "Cheers." He held up the glass in a brief toast and took a long sip.

That was... interesting. Valentine had taken more drugs in his lifetime than anyone would care to count, but this was rather different and distinct from just about any of them. The closest analogue he could think of would be the esper drug. There was that same exhilarating sense of expanding outside of mere skin, but in different ways, and vital in a way that the esper drug hadn't been. It was like a slow blossoming of consciousness, and the next sip was even better. He leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes. "Baron Harkonnen," he said slowly, enjoying the sound of the words, "I do believe I owe you for this. And that's not something I admit to anyone. Ever."

[i_am_harkonnen]

The Baron had no interest at all in poisoning Valentine, but in his Imperium, poison was a daily concern, as it was an exceptionally popular method of assassination. It was just standard politeness to let someone choose their cup, and, Vladimir still stuck to many of the habits that living in the Imperium had conditioned. He lifted his own glass to Valentine and took a deep draught of the familiar substance, which never actually did seem to become boring, and a faint smile lingered on his lips as he enjoyed the sensation of the Spice atop the pleasant relaxation already induced by the opiated muffin.

Vladimir's smile grew more apparent at Valentine's words- he too rather enjoyed the sound of his name, when it was spoken by this unique and intriguing noble, although he couldn't help but think that he'd prefer to hear it with Valentine stripped on his bed. But, although the temptation was there, he didn't tell Valentine exactly how he could repay him- there was something extra-interesting about him. Vladimir was finding that at the moment, he simply wanted to know more about Valentine, and not just about how he'd react in the bedroom. There was something almost Harkonnen about him, made more pronounced by the awareness-enhancement of the Spice. Something in his demeanor. The Baron could easily envision Valentine as having been part of his household, which was filled with rather 'colorful' characters. In fact, he did keep an effeminate drug fiend around the house, his mentat. Who he often insisted he hated, but he hadn't gotten rid of him, and didn't really want to, although it was inevitable that he'd have to.

"I'm so pleased that you're enjoying the Spice, Lord Wolfe." He swallowed another deep drink of the Spiced wine, relaxing visibly in his seat. "One of the things that's extremely intriguing about is that it never gets old. Just as its taste is always subtly different, so is the experience- it's an ever-changing thing like existence itself." He didn't know why this was, since no one in the Imperium except the Fremen and a few very high-ranking Spacing Guild and Sisterhood members had any idea as to exactly how the Spice was produced, and they were all involved in a complicated conspiracy to cover it up. The Houses who held Arrakis just mined the stuff. "No one's ever been able to synthesize it, and it's never been found anywhere except for on the planet called Arrakis. Fortunately, I arrived here with a great deal of it." A Great House's ransom worth, which was only sensible to carry around, as it was easily transportable wealth. "It's so good to meet someone who can properly appreciate the Spice- there's too few to share it with who truly seem to understand how remarkable it is."

[degeneratewolfe]

((Aaaand I fail at anything resembling punctual tagging.))

Any other time and Valentine would have been more aware of the Baron's feelings. Their banter moments previously would certainly give him an inkling, later on. For now, he was too wrapped up in the sensations give to him by the Spice to look too deeply into anyone else's affairs, even if they did deal with him personally. New drugs were, naturally, priority.

"Ever? What a pity." He opened his eyes, staring dreamily into the glass and taking another sip. "It's divine. It almost reminds me of one of my pre-death projects, the esper drug. Almost, because this is... well, as incredible as that was, this is... indescribable. The esper drug was incredibly addictive, highly lethal, and--" he smiled, oh so proudly-- "it was made from large quantities of human brain tissue. I destroyed a planet to mass-produce it." He sighed happily. "To good times," he said, raising his glass again.

[i_am_harkonnen]

((No worries! RL comes first. =D))

Valentine's fascination was a lovely thing- he was plainly a man who sought to extract as much from an experience as possible, a trait that the Baron could appreciate. It added to his overall qualities, which to all appearances, were profound- Vladimir was growing ever more curious about the man's history, and listened intently as he lauded the Spice and described his esper drug. His oh-so-proud smile was incredibly charming, especially when followed with the explanation about its production- there were few things that Valentine could have said that would have cemented the Baron's attraction further. He chuckled lightly, and smiled at Valentine as he raised his own glass, "To good times indeed! That sounds like a simply splendid endeavor." He clearly meant it, as there wasn't a trace of sarcasm in his tone, only admiration- this was clearly a man after his own heart. It was somewhat unfortunate that in Vladimir's time, synthesizing Spice was still believed to be impossible- a few millenia later, the Tleilaxu would figure out how to create it- incidentally, using live humans as the production vats.

He took another drink from his glass, and asked, "Do you think it's possible to re-create the esper drug here, or would the necessary equipment be lacking?" This idea seemed like a very entertaining diversion, not to mention something to do in Valentine's company. The anti-death spell only covered the campus grounds- if Muggle unfortunates were obtained, and hauled off to some shack in the forest or something, it would presumably be possible to harvest their brain tissue. And what had Valentine called his project- a 'pre-death' one? Did this mean he was dead?

"A 'pre-death' project, you called it- does this mean that you are undead? Or one of those who came here after death, as I've heard happens- although, I suppose that this might aesthetically equate to undeath." The way he spoke of it, it was obvious that Vladimir wasn't at all revolted by the idea of undeath- rather, he found it mesmerizing. His dear, lovely assistant Jasper was undead, after all. It was a beautiful quality, and even if Valentine wasn't, his pale skin, emphasized by his dark hair and the lipstick, definitely propped up the aesthetic.

[degeneratewolfe]

"Oh, it was," he said, beaming. "It was wonderful, being in the control center, enacting and watching the deaths of billions as my beautiful war machines made their way across the fields. Virimonde was a farm world, the type of agrarian beauty that some people cherish. It was glorious to watch it burn." He shrugged. "Of course, there were Empire-wide problems with food imports after that, but it was hardly my idea to use that particular world as an example. No, credit the Iron Bitch, mad dear that she was, with that bright idea. She had to get her revenge on a Lord from that world who hadn't even been there in some time, and so she sent me." He giggled. "Not that I'm complaining, mind."

He frowned. "I won't say I haven't tried. I've been here for a couple of years now, and I've tried to the best of my ability to recreate it. Unfortunately, I'm limited while here at Hogwarts by the no-kill spell. I need massive amounts of freshly-killed human brain tissue, you see, and there's somewhat of a dearth of it here. I've made some... attempts... in my past travels outside of Hogwarts, but I've been repeatedly stymied by technology problems. You see, this century's technology is laughable compared with what I'm used to. And while I've been able to work my way around certain aspects with magic and ordinary jury-rigging..." Another helpless shrug. "Well, let's just say I haven't given up yet."

He took another sip, lounging, and smiled blithely at the Baron. "Yes, I died. The experience was rather unpleasant." The memory of dozens of wounds opening all at once as Shub deactivated the nanotech in his system, while interesting from a certain perspective, was most decidedly not a good one. "Betrayed by those I considered my allies," he said dramatically. "On the very threshold of victory. When your time comes, Baron, try to avoid being hacked to death by murderous idealists."

[i_am_harkonnen]

The Baron sipped at his Spiced wine and listened to Valentine intently- he was a pleasure simply to listen to. His evident pride in his deeds and the joy he'd obtained from them were both evident. It sounded to Vladimir as if Valentine had even been in a similar functional position to himself, selected to do the Imperial dirty work, which was a job with an immense amount of opportunity. "I expect that it was indeed a wonderful experience- and that it wasn't just a delightful source of amusement, but provided an important lesson to your Imperium that were able to leverage in the way most profitable for you. People are always so focused on what effects them immediately that they so often fail to notice that the hand behind their destruction and their supposed 'salvation' is one in the same." Vladimir wouldn't have been at all surprised if Valentine had used the economic chaos that would ensue after the destruction of a primary resource to elevate his own power, as that was what he'd have done in such a situation. When an intergalactic megacorporation really had the final say of who sat on the Imperial throne, these things were very possible.

He nodded his understanding at Valentine's difficulties in reproducing the esper drug. "The no-kill spell has to be the single most vexing thing at Hogwarts. It's so difficult to solve any problems in a truly satisfying way when you can't put an end to them once and for all. Although. . .I'd suppose that the no-kill spell might have its little bonuses in the realm of 'advanced interrogation'- aside from the problem of disposing with them when they're finished. And although the 'Muggle' technology is rather entertaining and quaint, and destructive enough where a single planet is concerned, I can see how it would thwart your efforts. They're entirely obsessed with exploding things, and, although you could easily kill a whole city's worth of people with the touch of a button using their technology, their brains would be shredded into tiny little scraps and plastered all over the rubble. If anything's left at all. And I'm not sure that -any- population here would count as 'massive amounts'. Still, when there's enough of a will, a way tends to be found."

Vladimir listened to Valentine's admission of his death with absolutely fascination. There was something incredibly alluring about lovely dead men, although he was pretty sure that Valentine wasn't 'undead' in the way that Jasper was. He'd heard that there were quite a few who arrived at Hogwarts after their death, and so he expected that Valentine would still feel human to the touch, and not like cold, smooth marble. But this didn't reduce his allure any, it merely preserved Jasper's uniqueness. "I'll be sure to keep that in mind- if I had to bet on it, I'd lay my wager on my dear nephew's knife in my back when he becomes impatient." It didn't sound like held this against his nephew, and he didn't- ambition was a family trait. "But, it's always impossible to truly predict these circumstances." Had he known what the circumstances of his death would be, however- stabbed by the poison gom jabbar of a little granddaughter who wasn't even supposed to exist- he'd have preferred being hacked to death by a mob of Fremen. At least his last thought wouldn't have been the realization that his ancestral enemies had somehow managed to live through their perfectly orchestrated doom.

[degeneratewolfe]

((I apologize for being crappily slow.))

"Hardly," he said with a moue of distaste. "It became that sort of rallying point that certain rebellions decide on. Dreadful business." He sniffed in derision. "But, the hive mind does as the hive mind wants. Quite literally in certain cases." The esper gestalt came to mind.

"I do so love it when someone else appreciates the difficulties I'm encountering! It does make certain things fun--for instance, house elves make excellent guinea pigs for my testing of things that even I'm not sure I want to try yet, which is saying something. And they know now never to cross me, at their own peril." He nodded along with the Baron's assessment of current Humanity. "While explosives are fun--and they are--they're so impersonal. There's an entire lack of finesse to their approach at murder and mayhem, I've found. Sure, you find the occasional artist, but they tend to be lone madmen as a rule. It's such a shame. They could do so much better if only they truly applied themselves."

Valentine couldn't help but giggle at that last bit. That was how his own father had gone out, stabbed by Valentine's own blade in the heat of battle where he could place the blame on one of the Campbells and assume control of his Family with no complications at all. "It sounds like your family and my Family would have a lot to talk about--at least your family and myself. My siblings and lesser relations are from a somewhat watered down and pruned branch of the Family tree."

[i_am_harkonnen]

((No worries! And I apologize for all my TL;DRing. XD))

Vladimir nodded understandingly- rebellions were indeed dreadful business, unless they were one's own. "I'm sorry to hear that, Lord Wolfe- rebellions can be incredibly inconvenient things. We don't see them much, due to the damned Guild monopoly on space travel, but, they're still an occasional occurrence. And usually a nuisance." The entire Imperium would learn just how much of a problem they could be once he was returned to his own timeline.

Valentine's enthusiastic opinions on the use of house-elves and the nature of explosives were simply charming. The Baron couldn't help but think of his mentat-assassin, Piter- why couldn't he ever manage to be so damn charming with his enthusiasm? Still, he felt a pang of loss at the lack of him, which was brushed away easily enough by contemplating the potential that seemed to exist in Valentine. Not only was he quite attractive, plotting with him would seem a delight. "It sounds as if you've found a good use for the house-elves," he replied approvingly. "It still baffles me why the slaves here are so hideous- it seems like such a waste. Good-looking slaves have a more multifaceted range of uses." His lecherous grin indicated the particular use he was thinking of clearly. At home, Vladimir pretty much stuck to the slaves. And his nephew. "Fortunately, I've found that Hogwarts holds many other potentials, and the lack of attractive slaves isn't too much to suffer." The whole 'willing partners' thing was a bit new, but rather enjoyable in a strange, indulgent way- they were more into it than drugged slaves were, which did increase the quality of the experience. The way that Vladimir was looking at Valentine suggested that he was definitely contemplating him as one of these other potentials.

"It's so true that explosives are sadly impersonal. Useful, fun sometimes, but, they're not nearly as satisfying as a hands-on job." He let out a nostalgic little sigh. Valentine clearly had nothing against murder and mayhem, and, Vladimir wasn't even bothering with playing politics and putting up a cordial facade with the man. There seemed to be no point to it. "It's the personal experiences that etch themselves in the mind- when I reflect on it, I can still feel my bitch mother's throat between my hands as I strangled her." He smirked slightly, adding, "She'd deserved it. Botched perfectly good plans in motion." Sure, her arranging the murder of his father had made him head of his house, but, it wasn't timely. Vladimir hated bad timing. "And I agree. Our families- or at least ourselves, and my nephews, would likely have a great deal to speak of. I wish you could meet my nephews, my dear Feyd is a lovely, brilliant boy."