Comments | hogwarts_hocus: De-hiatusing post and open RP!

toujours_sirius in hogwarts_hocus

De-hiatusing post and open RP!

Aug 20, 2009 12:59

It may or may not have been coincidental, but at almost the exact same time, eight figures walked through the front door of Hogwarts and into the Entrance Hall. Well, seven walked. The eighth blibbled.

( The godfather, the reluctant hero, and the marshmallow )

sunflora, pippi longstocking, sirius black, rp, hermione granger, vislor turlough, miss swan, yoda, megan gwynn, michael scott, dwight schrute, strong sad, homsar, valentine wolfe, pam beesly, harry potter, fred weasley, vincent valentine

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Every manager needs an assistant to the manager! beets_r_god August 20 2009, 19:09:21 UTC

((Reposting for HTML fail corrections!))

Dwight had just left Slytherin, headed somewhere else, when he noticed Michael heading in his direction.

His face broke into a wide grin as he ran to intercept his boss.

"Michael!" he exclaimed, holding his arms out for an embrace. "You've been gone so long! But don't worry. Dunder-mifflin Hogsmeade is in safe hands! I think I've even found us a new Angela. But... you've been missed!" Dwight's relief was so palpable that he could have wept, and might have except that Schrutes simply didn't do such things.

Re: Every manager needs an assistant to the manager! office_michael August 21 2009, 01:19:56 UTC

And into Dwight's waiting embrace was shoved the pet carrier, which emitted a prolonged wet flatulent sort of noise before settling back into the wheezing once again.

Michael's first inclination was to back in the glow of the ego boost. His second inclination was to tell Dwight not to wet his pants. So he went with his third inclination.

"Is she hot? The new Angela, I mean. Like, would I do her? And would she do me?" Oh, damn, wait. "If she was into gays, I mean."

Re: Every manager needs an assistant to the manager! beets_r_god August 21 2009, 01:31:00 UTC

Dwight spent a few undignified moments choking as he breathed in Guano's fumes.

"Yes," he finally managed. "The new Angela is hot. I even think she'd do you, although she's not nearly as pretty as Jan." Because Dwight totally wanted to hit that, and couldn't very well do so if Michael was interested. Little did he know that, later on in the new Angela's canon, she would sleep with anything and everything, and so probably wouldn't object too strenuously to sleeping with a couple of dorky overgrown manchildren.

Re: Every manager needs an assistant to the manager! office_michael August 21 2009, 02:42:15 UTC

"Good," Michael pronounced firmly. "Because Angela 1.0 wouldn't do anyone." Or so Michael thought. "Tell Angela 2.0 that she's in and that she can have Angela 1.0's old spot on the Party Planning Committee. And -- oh, before I forget...."

Michael dug his hands deep into his pants pockets and pulled out a large round pin bearing vertical rainbow stripes and the phrase "I ♥ Men." The heart circumscribed a pink triangle. "Every Dunder-Mifflin employee has to wear one of these pieces of flair to show their support." He held it out to Dwight.

Re: Every manager needs an assistant to the manager! beets_r_god August 21 2009, 04:02:16 UTC

Dwight took the pin and eyed it dubiously. He would have to remember not to wear it in the event that he actually got anywhere with Angela 2.0. Which, at this point, was much more likely to happen in Dwight's dreams, but still.

"Of course I'll wear it," he pronounced solemnly. "But... where is yours? Shouldn't you be wearing one, too?"

Re: Every manager needs an assistant to the manager! office_michael August 21 2009, 19:54:08 UTC

"I don't need to wear a pin when I have...this!" Michael turned around, bent forward, and pulled his jacket and shirt up to reveal the top three-quarters of a skank-stamp version of the graphic on the pin. The rest of it remained hidden below the top of his pants.

Re: Every manager needs an assistant to the manager! beets_r_god August 25 2009, 21:56:47 UTC

((Sorry this took so long!))

Dwight was, quite frankly, horrified. Not, he hastened to add to himself, because of Michael's gayness, but because a skank stamp seemed like an awfully permanent thing, and what if Tinky Winky's deflowerment did not prove as gentle as Michael would have wished? Also, Angela 1.0 would certainly disapprove. Not that Dwight was going to bring that up.

A response was called for, however, and so he managed to choke out, "I'm sure Jan will be glad to know you've embraced gay pride."

Re: Every manager needs an assistant to the manager! office_michael August 26 2009, 13:09:34 UTC

"Jan. The lovely Jan Levenson, formerly hyphen Gould," Michael mumbled absently. He actually hadn't thought about Jan in a while, but now that Dwight had mentioned her, he found himself feeling a bit moony. When he had left Scranton for Hogwarts, things had been rather unresolved with Jan, in part because of Carol.

Carol.

Wow. He wondered how they both were doing. And if they were thinking about him. Thinking about doing him. Or doing each other with him.

Aha! That cleared his head enough for him to reply, "Jan will love it, and she will be my fag hag." Which wasn't really a bad way to think about it, because didn't all fag hags secretly want to do their gay BFFs? That would get him a lot further than second base.

Re: Every manager needs an assistant to the manager! beets_r_god August 29 2009, 14:44:30 UTC

Dwight had his doubts, but he kept them to himself. "Of course," he said, clearing his throat and attempting to segue into a subject change that did not involve Michael naked, because that took his mind to interesting places best not pondered on for too long.

"Well, now that you're back," he said intensely. "As your assistant manager, I await your orders. Dunder-Mifflin Hogsmeade has a long way to go before it's as competitive as it could be with other parchment companies. Also, the party planning committee hasn't met in a long time."

Re: Every manager needs an assistant to the manager! office_michael August 30 2009, 03:42:01 UTC

"To the..." Michael started to assert, but cut himself off. As he would come to tell Yoda, the elimination of the "to the" meant the addition of extra responsibilities. As such, he replied, "Right. First order. Tubby Tustard for Guano after we get back to our room in Slytherin. And then a colonic. For Guano, that is." Michael's rectal area was firmly reserved for Tinky Winky.

"Second order. Advertising. We need to do something special, something important, to get people to buy parchment for us. I'm thinking..." He steepled his hands by his mouth and looked up in thought. "...DOUGHNUT SALE! Buy 10 pieces of parchment, get a free doughnut!" Which surely would go over well in a school that provided three full, sumptuous meals a day. "Or...no, wait, I GOT it! Toga party! Parchment toga party! Best way to ingratiate ourselves with the masses! They did it in Animal House!" Which was obviously the best sales model out there.

Michael clapped his hands loudly, clearly filled with glee at his new brainfart brainchild. "Get the party planning ( ... )

Re: Every manager needs an assistant to the manager! beets_r_god August 30 2009, 16:46:49 UTC

Dwight did not want to get anywhere near Guano's rectal area. Ever. So he seized upon Michael's last proclamation. "I'm on it, Michael," he asserted boldly. "I'll owl the party-planning committee and we'll start getting ready for the toga and parchment sale party. What date are we looking at?"

Re: Every manager needs an assistant to the manager! office_michael September 2 2009, 00:49:20 UTC

"Hmmmmmm. We're in a magic school, so I will use Divination to pick the most auspicious date for toga-ing and parchment pushing." He extended his hands in front of him and wiggled his fingers, because that's clearly how magic, particularly Divination, was done. "Let's see... Okay, 'toga' begins with 't', so...Thursday! No, wait, that would interfere with Brokeback Thursdays, and those are sacred." He looked up in thought for several seconds too long before shouting out, "Monday! Because there's an 'm' in parchment!"

He pumped his fist several times in victory and added, "If I can be Divination Professor and Professor of Magical Comedy at the same time, I'm totally doing it." Never mind that the former position was taken and the latter didn't exist.

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