Evan blinked, looking down at his hands and realizing that, somehow, he was back in his own adult body. His hair wasn't the wild mop that he'd had in Sunnyvale Institution and he had his real clothes back.
As used as he was by now to regaining consciousness in absolutely strange situations, he honestly expected something different to happen after having sacrificed himself in his mother's womb.
He didn't have any answers as to what result it had gotten him -- whether his mother, Lenny, Tommy -- Kayleigh or even Thumper were at all okay. God, he hoped so.
Evan let out a breath and then another, collecting himself. He was more than used to this crap by now. He would deal. He had to. Looking around and getting his bearings, Evan's eyes tracked across a desk with parchment and a quill sitting ready.
Noting the sconces on the walls, Evan put two and two together and figured he had possibly gone back quite a few centuries more than he'd meant to, thus possibly erasing himself from the timeline altogether.
Well, hell, it was still the intended result. Evan walked over to the table, noting a series of questions written on the parchment. A survey? What the hell year is it, anyway?"
Picking up the quill and playing with it, one-handed, Evan read over the series of questions, figuring he obviously had some time to kill. He might as well write something in the meantime. Maybe that paper he had been meant to turn in before Kayleigh's funeral. After the questions, of course.
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite? Well, my mom got this cheese or something for Christmas once from the hospital where she works at, but in my memories as scattered as they may be my stepfather, Chuck, and I ate it all before she could get any -- we didn't mean to. Dick move, I know. Anyway, probably Gouda, though smoked -- that's the stipulation. It was delicious.
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop? Barney. I was able not only to resist Carrottop, but am repulsed by him.
3. What time is it where you are? There wasn't really a clock in my mother's womb, but it appears I have my watch back and it says...that it's stopped. I guess being waterproof isn't the same as being amniotic fluid-proof, though I don't actually remember having a watch as a fetus. Huh.
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black. I would probably sexually harass my roomate Thumper simply because he has it coming after all those dates he's brought back to our room (seriously, the last girl probably could have kicked my ass if she'd set her mind to it) besides -- he wouldn't take it personally.
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark. The Fuck Bag, simply because while it has negative memories attached to it, even I have to admit it has a ring to it.
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument. Well, given my tendencies toward monogamy, I'm not really sure I'd be the best choice for deciding Harry's life's mate for him, but if I was in a bind about it, I'd say Fred -- no, George, because he's quieter and probably will pay Harry more attention in the long run. No hard feelings, though.
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it. I usually set aside one day a week to mow my way through every paper I have to write and anything not needed in an expedient fashion, but I realize not everyone can concentrate like that so I also suggest doing any of it a little bit at a time -- probably alternating between subjects so you don't get burnt out and want to set the entire pile ablaze. I'm looking at you, Thumper!
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless. Um, at this point, I think it's genetic but...well, no, I won't go into that. Something more general: so far, I've never gotten anything below an 'A' in my life. I don't know exactly know how I do it, but it seems like information imprints itself on my brain and just doesn't go anywhere. I've never needed to study, ever.
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
*Evan rubs his beard a bit, considering what he could possibly bribe anybody with, let alone in a strange -- after which thought, he snorted and went back to thinking -- building of people he had yet to get to know.*
If anyone has any knowledge in the field of psychology and could use my help, I was well on my way to graduating early from State University of New York with a double Psychology degree in both Behavioral Psychology and Cognitive Psychology, with a minor in Humanistic Psychology. You know, if that helps anyone. Um, I'm sorry, I just don't have anything in my pockets or, really, anything someone else would probably want to wear.
"I have read the
hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. ______ET______
I have read the
hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. _____ET______.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. _____ET______.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. ______ET_______"