Application: Harvey Dent/Two-Face (TDK, DC Comics)
The man who appears in the Sorting Hall is rather . . . unusual. Not just because he appears to be missing the skin on his left side, either. It's the way he's arguing with himself that takes him from disturbing to surreal.
"--don't care if you wanted to, I'm not about to get us killed because you're a soft-hearted idiot!
"Just because I'm not willing to shoot innocents in the face doesn't mean I'm stupid, Harv, I'm just . . . what on Earth is this, now?"
They look around themselves, frown, and spot the paper.
"Oh, this is stupid.
"No kidding. Alright, what are the questions?"
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
"We don't even like cheese very much. But . . . what's the name of that cheese with the herbs . . ?
"I don't like that kind as much as you do. And anyway. it depends on what we're having with it."
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
"Well, Barney I suppose. Since he's just a toy.
"So what's the fun of that, then? Kill Carrottop."
3. What time is it where you are?
"We're right here, so check a clock.
". . . Fifteen 'til one, why?
"Harvey, you didn't have to look for them.
"I was being polite.
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
"Harass? None of them!
"Whoever got pissed off by it the quickest."
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
"Janus's.
"Double Malt Jeopardy."
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
"You do realize that it would be easier if we knew who they were.
"Idiots."
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
"More paperwork is accumilating than you can finish.
"And someone thinks it's funny to piss you off."
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
"I'm a lawyer. Graduated from Harvard Law.
"I have one Hell of a right hook and I'm good with a .22."
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly.
"if you need any legal help--
"Or a hired gun--
"Just ask."
"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. Harvey Two-Face Dent."
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. Harvey Two-Face Dent.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. Harvey Two-Face Dent.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. Harvey Two-Face Dent."
"--don't care if you wanted to, I'm not about to get us killed because you're a soft-hearted idiot!
"Just because I'm not willing to shoot innocents in the face doesn't mean I'm stupid, Harv, I'm just . . . what on Earth is this, now?"
They look around themselves, frown, and spot the paper.
"Oh, this is stupid.
"No kidding. Alright, what are the questions?"
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
"We don't even like cheese very much. But . . . what's the name of that cheese with the herbs . . ?
"I don't like that kind as much as you do. And anyway. it depends on what we're having with it."
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
"Well, Barney I suppose. Since he's just a toy.
"So what's the fun of that, then? Kill Carrottop."
3. What time is it where you are?
"We're right here, so check a clock.
". . . Fifteen 'til one, why?
"Harvey, you didn't have to look for them.
"I was being polite.
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
"Harass? None of them!
"Whoever got pissed off by it the quickest."
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
"Janus's.
"Double Malt Jeopardy."
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
"You do realize that it would be easier if we knew who they were.
"Idiots."
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
"More paperwork is accumilating than you can finish.
"And someone thinks it's funny to piss you off."
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
"I'm a lawyer. Graduated from Harvard Law.
"I have one Hell of a right hook and I'm good with a .22."
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly.
"if you need any legal help--
"Or a hired gun--
"Just ask."
"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. Harvey Two-Face Dent."
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. Harvey Two-Face Dent.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. Harvey Two-Face Dent.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. Harvey Two-Face Dent."