Mordred Deschain, The Dark Tower
There is the sound of bells
(like and unlike todash chimes, do ya kennit?)
and a sickly-looking, horrifically thin young man is standing in the Sorting Hall.
He frowns. "What goes on here, sais? Tis not the sort of place I would expect, in the Clearing at the end of the Path.
"But then, I suppose it would be foolish to expect sense from this life. It's never offered much before!"
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
"I've never actually had cheese, say true. Doubt it would be much use for me, at any rate."
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
". . . I seem to recollect those names from sai Walter. Since the one is but a toy, however, I'd be like to go after the other. For isn't there a saying that goes 'The blood is the life'?"
3. What time is it where you are?
"Ha! Tis Blue Heaven Standard Time, sai--Eastern Standard No Time At All! Time is, after all, a face upon the water--it ripples and is gone."
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
"I never have met nor heard of yon people, and I've little enough interested in sex when food be in the offing."
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
"The Spider's Web, mayhap? It's a fitting enough name, say true."
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
"And once again, sai, I know them not. Nor do I know many myths, save those involving yon Dark Tower."
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
"Ka, sai! Ka like a damn big Charlie wind has decided that your job in life is to fill out boring bedamned papers 'til the Tower falls."
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
"I am a telepath, a shapeshifter, and many other things. If ka had willed it I'd have ruled the world. I am hardly useless, say true and say thankya big-big."
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe.
"I can offer ye both silk and venom, sais, and the reading of minds. I can control people, make them do my bidding or thine, and I am wise far beyond my years."
I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG.
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch.
One day, marmalade will rule the world.
Mordred Deschain of Thunderclap, son of Roland Deschain o' Gilead-as-was, Mia's Chap, Ram Abbalah Can, Dan-Tete, Little Red King, Crown Prince of Spiders.