Application: Jesse Pinkman (Breaking Bad)

[cap_cook]

In the middle of the Hogwarts Sorting Room stood a young man in sweatpants, a large t-shirt, and a heavy, hooded sweatshirt. His name was Jesse Pinkman. Jesse's arms hung at his sides, fidgeting with his sweatshirt as he glanced around awkwardly

Comments

[vislor_turlough]

"Yes, it's hypothetical," Turlough said in a bored tone that clearly indicated that he's answered this already.

[cap_cook]

"Huh? Oh, right, the... the question about the..." Jesse nodded a few times to indicate his understanding, and then smiled and shrugged loosely. "Yeah, I mean, I figured. I guess I just... You know, thought I should ask since... I don't really know what the hell's going on here. Or like, where I am."

[vislor_turlough]

"You're at a school in Scotland, you're here to learn magic, and you're going to talk to a hat soon, so get used to the lunacy."

[cap_cook]

Jesse stared. "Uhh... OK..." He brought both hands to the sides of his head and pushed, as if that would make everything suddenly make sense. When it failed, he dragged his hands down his face and let them drop by his sides again.

"This is fuckin nuts. And I've had some ridiculous shit happen to me." He suddenly looked at the man in front of him. "So are you some kind of magician or something then?"

[vislor_turlough]

"Somewhat. I prefer to be known as an alien. And before you ask, lots of us are more humanoid than you think."

[cap_cook]

"Yeah, ok. You're an alien." He shook his head. "This is probably like... a big, dumb joke... or freaky party or something... and that 'humanoid' crap is just your excuse for being lazy about a costume."

[vislor_turlough]

"Nope."

Costume?

"YOU!" Turlough yelled at the talking dog that poked his head in the door. "You stay away from my keys!"

I only stole them once! Wishbone ran off, miffed that Turlough was STILL angry about that.

Turlough glared and turned back to Jesse. "Nope. Oh, and if you see anyone with glasses and an arrogant attitude, ignore him. He's a bastard."

(God I love playing Wishbone. Dogus Ex Machina go!)

[cap_cook]

((Hee!)

Jesse stared after the dog for a moment and then snapped his attention back to the alien-dude. "Yeah, ok. Right." One hand on his forehead and the other pointing after the Jack Russell, he demanded,

"Did that dog just...? Was that--...?" Jesse, after all, had once been an 8-year-old in the suburbs; he knew his talking dogs. ((But would break no fourth walls.)) "Did you hear that?"

[vislor_turlough]

"Yes, some talking dog that likes A's cats and stole my keys once. Bastard."

[cap_cook]

Jesse continued to gape.

"Wow. So this shit is real. Like -- when you say magic, you mean real magic, not lameass tricks and stuff. Real magic." He paused, letting this thought sink in, then asked eagerly, "Do I get to, like, gain superpowers?"

Jesse's mind turned happily to the self-designed superheroes in his old sketchbook.

[vislor_turlough]

Turlough now looked at Jesse like he lost his mind. "Not that powerful. Set things on fire, yes. Summon things to you, yeah."

[cap_cook]

Jesse started to look crestfallen, but stopped as Alien Dude (as he now thought of him in his head) continued.

"Sounds like superpowers to me, yo." It certainly beat Reverso-Man (who had the magnificent, superhuman ability to run backwards very quickly and efficiently. "Aw, man, this is gonna be sick."

[vislor_turlough]

"Well, I better not see you run around in some stupid costume or I'll give you detention, I don't care if it's for an arbitrary reason. Besides, you'll need a wand first before you can do anything."

[cap_cook]

"You're a teacher?" Jesse was so sick of teachers. "Alright, fine. So where can I get a wand?"

[vislor_turlough]

"Groundskeeper. There's a village near here that sells wands, once you're sorted you can get one there."

[cap_cook]

"Sorted?" Jesse looked a little alarmed; he wasn't sure what that meant in this context. "I think I've got things sorted out well enough to be able to go buy myself a wand."