Richard Roma, Glengarry Glen Ross
Well. Wasn't this interesting? A real fun fest.
Ricky Roma took stock of the room, no hurry but not missing anything, not if he could help it. Not looking anything beyond self-assured. Hell, he knew what he was about. And you never let your guard down. Especially not with a group like this. What in - What in the hell was this nutjob operation? Bunch of fruits, from what Roma could tell. Looked like some of them might've stepped out of some spaceship or fucking kid's book, for all he could tell. What the hell.
Might be worth a laugh, anyway. While he was here. And at least they looked like interesting nutjobs. A few good-looking ones, too. That almost brought a grin. Sure, this was going to be a... an experience. And maybe he'd meet a few looking to buy property, or willing to be talked into buying property. Christ knew what kind of property anyone had around here, but he had some brochures, and if Ricky Roma knew himself - he did, thoroughly - he be able to talk some sucker into buying.
Good, all right, wonderful. There was a plan. And why the hell not? Didn't look like there was anything else to do, anyway.
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
Let me tell you something. A man who pays too much attention to what kind of cheese he eats... That man has got time on his hands. He has got time on his hands, and you can bet he's a goddamn schmuck. You think I've got a favorite cheese? I don't give a rat's ass about cheese. It's fucking cheese, and I can take it or leave it. I do not care.
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
Not worth my time to kill anyone (though at times am tempted, I am very tempted by some of the people in this world). I've got better things to do, thank you very much, and when I start worrying about either of those two assholes, you'll be the first people I tell, okay?
3. What time is it where you are?
I must've left the office around seven so... what? Take half an hour or so, let's say just about seven thirty.
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
This depends. Are there any particularly attractive women in this Order of the Phoenix? Get me any woman with knock-out looks and I'm fine. If you can give her a brain as well, better still, but that will be the day. And I do not harass. I open an invitation. My question, though. Does this Albus need to stop at one? Because I don't see any reason he should tie himself down.
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
Look, I don't bartend. I go into bars to get myself a drink, talk with a client, maybe pick up women, but I do not bartend. I sell real estate, what the fuck would I want to bartend for? You know who ought to bartend? Moss. The only kind of job he could handle. Only he'd have to work at some place called "Thumbs Up Our Ass" or "Assholes are Us," or something. What, that doesn't answer the question? How about an "I'm Not Fucking Working Here So Shut Up And Get Me a Goddamn Drink" bar? That work for you?
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
Look, I don't care - This guy wants to marry that guy wants to marry the other guy. What you're telling me is we got a bunch of faggots, right? Well, all right. Not my business. Let them work it out on their own, 'cause I tell you I don't know the first thing about any of that. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with it. I am only lacking in that experience. Maybe Moss knows about these things. Hell, he probably does; you want me to introduce you? Because I don't know.
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
That tells me either you don't know how to organize your damn work, or some gigantic monster keeps shitting paperwork all over your desk. Either way, I believe you've got a problem. A problem remarkably like George's. You know how often you can see the top of that guy's desk? Hell, George is an okay guy, sure, but he could stand to pull his act together, you see what I'm saying.
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
Prove this? You want proof? Look at the board, you want proof. Look who's got top sales, and I've been up there for a while now, it isn't luck. It's skill. I read people. I like people. I get to know people. And they like me, they trust me. As they should, because I've got my act together and I know my shit. Help 'em find prime property straight off, suited to their every last desire. And they buy. So I'm at the top of the damn board, and I'm going to stay there. Additionally, there is nobody, and I mean nobody who can keep Williamson on his toes and make sure that cunt does his job like I do.
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
All right, good, sounds good to me. We don't have to call it a bribe though. I would like to get to know you. Come with me and have a few drinks. I know a couple of great places: good booze, good atmosphere, we can just sit and shoot the shit, person-to-person.
And don't think that's all. I've got some real estate on my hands that'll just about make you wet yourself. And maybe I can work out the bargain of your life. Maybe? Absolutely. It's what I do. Before you know it, you'll be set up down in Florida, can go and have a look around, enjoy the sunlight. I kid you not, you can make thousands doing this, or you can sit back and enjoy yourself. Either way, it's a real win for you, believe me. And in the meantime, we'll just talk. Tell me about yourself. What do you do, what do you like, how's your wife, did you ever have a dog when you were a kid? Go ahead. I'm here to listen, I'm here to help you.
"I have read the [info]hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. R. Roma.
I have read the [info]hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. R. Roma.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. R. Roma.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. R. Roma."
((OOC: And this-person apologizes for Roma's, er, abrasive, crude, potentially offensive [pick a term, pick several terms] mode of speech. And possibly behavior. He's kind of an asshole like that, sometimes. Comes with the living? Anyway, yes, thank you David Mamet and Glengarry Glen Ross, and here are my apologies also for any destruction of Roma's character. Erk. YEP. Also-gracias to a-person for sideways recalling the fact of this community's most rad existence. And, er, otherwise... don't know when-all I'll be around, but Roma likes to talk, so what the hell. Shall see.))
Ricky Roma took stock of the room, no hurry but not missing anything, not if he could help it. Not looking anything beyond self-assured. Hell, he knew what he was about. And you never let your guard down. Especially not with a group like this. What in - What in the hell was this nutjob operation? Bunch of fruits, from what Roma could tell. Looked like some of them might've stepped out of some spaceship or fucking kid's book, for all he could tell. What the hell.
Might be worth a laugh, anyway. While he was here. And at least they looked like interesting nutjobs. A few good-looking ones, too. That almost brought a grin. Sure, this was going to be a... an experience. And maybe he'd meet a few looking to buy property, or willing to be talked into buying property. Christ knew what kind of property anyone had around here, but he had some brochures, and if Ricky Roma knew himself - he did, thoroughly - he be able to talk some sucker into buying.
Good, all right, wonderful. There was a plan. And why the hell not? Didn't look like there was anything else to do, anyway.
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
Let me tell you something. A man who pays too much attention to what kind of cheese he eats... That man has got time on his hands. He has got time on his hands, and you can bet he's a goddamn schmuck. You think I've got a favorite cheese? I don't give a rat's ass about cheese. It's fucking cheese, and I can take it or leave it. I do not care.
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
Not worth my time to kill anyone (though at times am tempted, I am very tempted by some of the people in this world). I've got better things to do, thank you very much, and when I start worrying about either of those two assholes, you'll be the first people I tell, okay?
3. What time is it where you are?
I must've left the office around seven so... what? Take half an hour or so, let's say just about seven thirty.
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
This depends. Are there any particularly attractive women in this Order of the Phoenix? Get me any woman with knock-out looks and I'm fine. If you can give her a brain as well, better still, but that will be the day. And I do not harass. I open an invitation. My question, though. Does this Albus need to stop at one? Because I don't see any reason he should tie himself down.
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
Look, I don't bartend. I go into bars to get myself a drink, talk with a client, maybe pick up women, but I do not bartend. I sell real estate, what the fuck would I want to bartend for? You know who ought to bartend? Moss. The only kind of job he could handle. Only he'd have to work at some place called "Thumbs Up Our Ass" or "Assholes are Us," or something. What, that doesn't answer the question? How about an "I'm Not Fucking Working Here So Shut Up And Get Me a Goddamn Drink" bar? That work for you?
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
Look, I don't care - This guy wants to marry that guy wants to marry the other guy. What you're telling me is we got a bunch of faggots, right? Well, all right. Not my business. Let them work it out on their own, 'cause I tell you I don't know the first thing about any of that. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with it. I am only lacking in that experience. Maybe Moss knows about these things. Hell, he probably does; you want me to introduce you? Because I don't know.
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
That tells me either you don't know how to organize your damn work, or some gigantic monster keeps shitting paperwork all over your desk. Either way, I believe you've got a problem. A problem remarkably like George's. You know how often you can see the top of that guy's desk? Hell, George is an okay guy, sure, but he could stand to pull his act together, you see what I'm saying.
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
Prove this? You want proof? Look at the board, you want proof. Look who's got top sales, and I've been up there for a while now, it isn't luck. It's skill. I read people. I like people. I get to know people. And they like me, they trust me. As they should, because I've got my act together and I know my shit. Help 'em find prime property straight off, suited to their every last desire. And they buy. So I'm at the top of the damn board, and I'm going to stay there. Additionally, there is nobody, and I mean nobody who can keep Williamson on his toes and make sure that cunt does his job like I do.
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
All right, good, sounds good to me. We don't have to call it a bribe though. I would like to get to know you. Come with me and have a few drinks. I know a couple of great places: good booze, good atmosphere, we can just sit and shoot the shit, person-to-person.
And don't think that's all. I've got some real estate on my hands that'll just about make you wet yourself. And maybe I can work out the bargain of your life. Maybe? Absolutely. It's what I do. Before you know it, you'll be set up down in Florida, can go and have a look around, enjoy the sunlight. I kid you not, you can make thousands doing this, or you can sit back and enjoy yourself. Either way, it's a real win for you, believe me. And in the meantime, we'll just talk. Tell me about yourself. What do you do, what do you like, how's your wife, did you ever have a dog when you were a kid? Go ahead. I'm here to listen, I'm here to help you.
"I have read the [info]hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. R. Roma.
I have read the [info]hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. R. Roma.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. R. Roma.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. R. Roma."
((OOC: And this-person apologizes for Roma's, er, abrasive, crude, potentially offensive [pick a term, pick several terms] mode of speech. And possibly behavior. He's kind of an asshole like that, sometimes. Comes with the living? Anyway, yes, thank you David Mamet and Glengarry Glen Ross, and here are my apologies also for any destruction of Roma's character. Erk. YEP. Also-gracias to a-person for sideways recalling the fact of this community's most rad existence. And, er, otherwise... don't know when-all I'll be around, but Roma likes to talk, so what the hell. Shall see.))