Application: Igor
It was a castle, which was entirely predictable. However Igor had never seen this one before in his life.
Had he been brought there by Dr. Glickenstein? Maybe some true Evil Genius had finally seen how talented he was and wanted to hire him!
Maybe bricks could sprout wings and fly.
There was a quill hovering just above the desk in front of him. How did that work? Magnets? He grabbed for it. It danced away. Then he noticed the paper.
"What is this? An aptitude test?"
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
Cheese? "Munster- I guess. Probably the name. I haven't had very many kinds of cheese."
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
"Do I have to kill anyone?" "Strike that"
"Barney is first, alphabetically" "Strike that"
"That is entirely up to you...Master." No telling who was keeping him here, but the "Master" couldn't hurt.
3. What time is it where you are? Igor squinted out the window. "Late afternoon. It's cloudy, so it's hard to tell."
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
Ookay.
"Um, seriously you don't want to do that...er, I mean certainly, but immediately after death might be kind of...manky. Er. Yes. Who's Albus Dumbledore?"
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
"The Very Bad Idea Strike that!
Club Schadenfreude"
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
"Er. He should...hook them all up to a simple device to measure the electromagnetic currents on human skin! Yes, that's good. Then he could discover which one was telling the truth." 'I wish I knew who all these people were.' "Mythology, mythology."
(Igor's education was sadly negelected in some subjects.)
"Er. The one with the guy who made a statue that came to life. That's the only mythology I know. Maybe he could fuse Fred and George together?"
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
"That sounds like Dr. Glickenstien."
"Sorry! Sorry. I'll get right to it!"
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
So it was from the doctor. Eep. He slipped into the voice. "Well, Masster, I'm familiar with many aspects of mechanics, electronics, basic surgery, and ego-enabling. I can make sandwiches. Oh, and pull levers. But I can also design things...not as well as you, I'm sure.
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
"Would you like anything? Coffee? Tea? ...Monster?" He looked excited at the prospect.
"I may have my student project with me." He pulled out a small clockwork robot. "It's not much, but it works."
"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. __Igor__________ I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. __Igor_________. I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. __IGor_________. One day, marmalade will rule the world. ___IGor__________"
Had he been brought there by Dr. Glickenstein? Maybe some true Evil Genius had finally seen how talented he was and wanted to hire him!
Maybe bricks could sprout wings and fly.
There was a quill hovering just above the desk in front of him. How did that work? Magnets? He grabbed for it. It danced away. Then he noticed the paper.
"What is this? An aptitude test?"
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
Cheese? "Munster- I guess. Probably the name. I haven't had very many kinds of cheese."
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
"Do I have to kill anyone?" "Strike that"
"Barney is first, alphabetically" "Strike that"
"That is entirely up to you...Master." No telling who was keeping him here, but the "Master" couldn't hurt.
3. What time is it where you are? Igor squinted out the window. "Late afternoon. It's cloudy, so it's hard to tell."
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
Ookay.
"Um, seriously you don't want to do that...er, I mean certainly, but immediately after death might be kind of...manky. Er. Yes. Who's Albus Dumbledore?"
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
"The Very Bad Idea Strike that!
Club Schadenfreude"
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
"Er. He should...hook them all up to a simple device to measure the electromagnetic currents on human skin! Yes, that's good. Then he could discover which one was telling the truth." 'I wish I knew who all these people were.' "Mythology, mythology."
(Igor's education was sadly negelected in some subjects.)
"Er. The one with the guy who made a statue that came to life. That's the only mythology I know. Maybe he could fuse Fred and George together?"
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
"That sounds like Dr. Glickenstien."
"Sorry! Sorry. I'll get right to it!"
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
So it was from the doctor. Eep. He slipped into the voice. "Well, Masster, I'm familiar with many aspects of mechanics, electronics, basic surgery, and ego-enabling. I can make sandwiches. Oh, and pull levers. But I can also design things...not as well as you, I'm sure.
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
"Would you like anything? Coffee? Tea? ...Monster?" He looked excited at the prospect.
"I may have my student project with me." He pulled out a small clockwork robot. "It's not much, but it works."
"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. __Igor__________ I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. __Igor_________. I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. __IGor_________. One day, marmalade will rule the world. ___IGor__________"