[Open RP] St Patrick's Day in the Little Green Apple.

[vislor_turlough]

Okay, so Turlough didn't really CELEBRATE Saint Patrick's Day. But he did read about it, mainly the part where people (mostly Americans) used it as an excuse to drink copious amounts, particularly of beer

Comments

[arrogantmage]

Lezard Valeth had read about St. Patrick's Day as well. He didn't consider it a holiday worthy of celebration. Driving all the snakes out of a small island kingdom? Hardly an impressive feat. Besides, Lezard's sympathies rested more with the snakes.

That didn't mean he wasn't going to have a drink or two. La Fee Verte's domain appealed to his aesthetic sense (though in his opinion it could do with some randomly placed treasure chests and maybe a lava pit or two), so he enjoyed nipping into the Little Green Apple now and again. There was also an added incentive to resort to alcohol: He needed something to take his mind off certain compulsions left over from his recent experience of being a chinchilla.

To wit: He kept wanting to take a dust bath.

[vislor_turlough]

Turlough gave a lazy glare at Lezard: after a few martinis he was feeling not at his snarkiest.

[arrogantmage]

Lezard noticed the glare, and chose to spin the laziness of it thusly: "Now, now, Groundskeeper. Just because we shared one mindblowing kiss isn't any reason to go making eyes at a student."

[vislor_turlough]

"Please." Turlough took another sip. "Like I'd be interested in you."

[arrogantmage]

"All those detentions say otherwise. But I should say no more on the subject, for alas, our love is forbidden." Lezard drained half his glass of the abominable concoction known as Irish Trashcan Punch, and set the glass down on the bar with a dejected clunk.

[vislor_turlough]

"Says who?" Turlough looked in a rebelling mood.

[arrogantmage]

Lezard decided to make more bullshit up.

"Kojiro," he sighed, and gazed moodily into his Trashcan Punch. "That's who."

[vislor_turlough]

"That's bullshit, he doesn't even exist." Yes. Turlough did not believe Kojiro existed.

Maybe he should get kidnapped instead, it wouldn't be out of character.

[arrogantmage]

Lezard started laughing his crazy laugh -- and once he got started, it was hard to stop.

"That, my dear groundskeeper, is like saying Homsar doesn't exist. You can go on pretending all you like, until you get a faceful of marshmallow."

[vislor_turlough]

"Then why haven't I seen Kojiro yet? I've seen everyone else here at Hogwarts. Some people far too often," he added with a glare in Lezard's direction. And yes, Turlough's lying.

[arrogantmage]

"Perhaps he only appears to people he especially likes or especially dislikes," Lezard conjectured with every outward show of seriousness. "I've won his heart and if we contravene his wishes he'll surely steal you away. That, or he may start leaving you dubious presents."

[vislor_turlough]

"All right, if he does, I'll concede the point and think he exists. Anyway, fuck him. If I seriously was interested in you, he couldn't stop me."

Yeah, Turlough's drunk.

[arrogantmage]

"Oh, groundskeeper. I will not protest against this silly charade of yours. I know only too well that you won't wish to go up against Kojiro, and therefore I am perfectly happy to deny our mutual passion."

Lezard was amusing himself thoroughly. He could almost forget the lingering chinchilla instincts that cried out within him: yearning for the Andes, wanting to roll in a basin of volcanic dust, that sort of thing.

[vislor_turlough]

"The hell I don't!" Turlough finished off his drink, wiped his mouth, stomped over to Lezard, and kissed him hard.

[arrogantmage]

Since Turlough was neither a valkyrie nor a hot chick of any kind, Lezard did not find this exciting, nor did he believe Turlough found it so. Had he seen it coming, Lezard would have ducked it somehow -- dematerialization, teleportation away, some kind of nasty spell to immobilize or banish Turlough -- and consequences be damned. He could deal with another detention, even if he had to serve it with that bastard Mr. Wednesday.

However.

Lezard's defenses were not what they should be. When he had been a chinchilla, he had lacked powers altogether. He still hadn't quite recovered. It wasn't that he lacked power now, it was that he hadn't regained the near-instinctual command he'd developed over his years of magehood.

Therefore, when Turlough planted upon him a forceful kiss, Lezard's response was not that of a great and powerful mage, but that of a chinchilla.

He squeaked.

[vislor_turlough]

Yeah, Turlough will regret this in the morning, but he plans on taking it out on Dwight. Better punching bag.

Right now, though, Turlough was grinning like a loon. "See? No Kojiro!" he said triumphantly. "Also, you squeaked."