Starscream, Transformers

[dc_starscream]

((Physical appearance and alternate modes (Cybertronian jet, Lockheed Martin F-22 Raptor fighter jet) are taken from the 2007 movie and tie-in comics/novel, and I'm basing his personality on the same. Abilities and history will be pulled from several sources or invented as necessary, since the many different continuities of Transformers don't mesh

Comments

[serrulata]

By now, Kurama was used to a certain level of strange (at least, beyond the 'strangeness' he had dealt with before coming to Hogwarts) and even then he was able to handle most of the weird with a good suspension of disbelief, but... giant robots? Really?

"When it comes to questions of uselessness," he said, after a long moment, "Your worth here is often judged by how much trouble you cause and how much amusement you bring to our strange benefactors." Or jailers, as they case could very well be.

[dc_starscream]

Said giant robot had thus far dismissed the vast quantities of information his sensors were continually providing him about the humans around him, but something in this latest human's read-out gave him pause. Namely because, according to the information, he wasn't human. Not quite an animal, either, but something... else.

"So they measure worth by how inconvenienced they are," Starscream said, not quite a question. It made about as much sense as the application did. "And who are these-benefactors?"

[serrulata]

The bot's question gave Kurama a momentary pause. He could launch into all the details surrounding the varied rulers of the school, but decided that the shortest description would be more apt.

"A hat," he said, with a level of incredulity towards the fact that he was actually saying this bullshit without a hint of untruth, "A toy, a giant squid, and a pervert."

[dc_starscream]

He didn't immediately respond, and the silence stretched on until it could rightly be called awkward. Had his crash damaged more than he was aware of, or was the sort-of-human trying to be a nuisance by speaking gibberish?

"There is proof of this?"

[serrulata]

"You will meet the hat at the end of your sorting... it is the one that decides which house you're put in. I haven't seen the toy, or the pervert, but if you look out the window there," he motioned with a nod, "you will see the lake in which the squid dwells. And, to be quite honest, that likely isn't the strangest thing you'll see here."

He crossed his arms, looking up (and up) at Starscream. "The strange, whatever your definition of such, is an everyday occurrence here." He let himself a wry laugh, and shook his head. "But I suppose business must be put before banter. I am assuming you were not sent here, yes?"

[dc_starscream]

He'd noticed the lake before and had been grateful he'd been able to veer away from it when he fell. Rust certainly wouldn't help him any, and the thought of giant slimy grasping tentacles frankly disgusted him. A mere hat he could deal with. (He hoped.)

"I wasn't sent here," he confirmed. "Nor did I have any intention of stopping, but it seems the energy field surrounding this area had other plans for me. It hindered my flight."

[serrulata]

"Understandable. The area surrounding this institute does unfortunate things for regular electronics, let alone more advanced beings such as yourself." It was impressive that Starscream was even cognizant, but then, he wasn't a laptop.

"So, not sent, and considering the state of you, obviously not taken from an ideal situation. Are you a casualty or a warrior?"

[dc_starscream]

He'd been perfectly functional prior to the interference and crash, scarred armor aside, but he supposed that was best omitted if he could possibly score a few sympathy points.

"A soldier, not by choice but out of necessity," he lied. "There are others of my race who are bent on destroying whatever and whoever they can, for their own selfish gain." It wasn't even stretching the truth if he didn't specify which faction he meant. "For as long as I can remember, I've opposed them. I followed them to Earth a few years ago."

[serrulata]

Kurama watched Starscream carefully as he (could the robot be considered a 'he,' technically?) spoke. The bot didn't quite have the same tells and body language as a human, but his make was humanoid enough, and Kurama could detect a bit of an ego underneath Starscream's words.

Kurama wasn't still alive by trusting unfamiliar things easily, and he'd seen enough giant robot anime during his childhood to know you never trust the scary-looking ones, but still... it would be interesting to play along.

"A terrible way to live," he murmured, laying on just enough sympathy without sounding condescending. "If one is to fight, it should be by choice, for the things you believe in. Worse still that war is all you have known for so long."

[dc_starscream]

((Wow, sorry for the epic TL;DR repost, but I realized ol' Starscream would probably catch his own contradiction before waiting for someone else to.))

Starscream probably wasn't as good an actor as he thought he was. The egotism Kurama had already noticed had a way of bleeding through no matter what. Still, assuming there weren't any blasted Autobots around to ruin things and contradict his lies, the Decepticon could occasionally be pretty convincing when he put his cerebral processor to it, as the doomed humans on board Ghost-1 found out

[serrulata]

(No sweat. Epic Teal Deer are excusable, especially considering that, hey, it's Starscream. I am constitutionally incapable of complaining.)

"What, Barney and Carrottop?" Kurama laughed outright at that, waving the explanation away. "I doubt very many would place much blame on you if you happened to exterminate one or both of them. Besides which," his amused smile turned just a degree towards a smirk, "such would be an agreeable sacrifice for the sake of peace, yes? Whether it be a Utopian or a more Totalitarian brand." He could support either. After all, his ambitions in the past had pointed towards running his own thieving dictatorship, so who was he to judge?

[dc_starscream]

Starscream was inwardly relieved that Kurama apparently bought his fabrications. It was too bad he hadn't known what the application was for ahead of time. He might have invented a much more plausible, believable persona for himself-he could have simply posed as any of the numerous Autobots he was intimately uncomfortably familiar with from the outset.

"I'm very glad you understand," he said, and there was a calculated pause. "But, then, you're not quite a mere human yourself, are you?" he asked with genuine curiosity. It couldn't hurt to attempt to make sense of the read-outs, if Kurama was willing to explain.

[serrulata]

"No," he smiled, "I'm not. You can access the internet, yes? Search 'kitsune.' That should tell you some of what you'd like to know. Though, I can't guarantee all of it is true." After all, most of what was recorded about kitsune was from a human perspective. And even the stuff that came from a fox's mouth was 90% lies, just because.

[dc_starscream]

He was still having trouble accessing any satellites from here, so he opted to search his data caches instead. It turned up enough viable information.

Somehow, it wasn't at all surprising something humans foolishly thought of as fictional was in fact very real. The proof was standing before him.

"I see," he said. "A fox spirit. Though outwardly, you do appear human at the moment. You can assume other forms?"

[serrulata]

Kurama responded by shifting immediately to his fox form. "This and my human shape is easiest for me; it's been many centuries since I've had to take on any other forms." He stretched - no need to change back quite yet.

"With your questions answered, might I be permitted a few of my own?"

[dc_starscream]

He took a moment to study Kurama's new form. Additional tails aside, he scanned fairly close to a regular fox.

"Interesting... It seems we have a little in common, then." In response to Kurama's question, he nodded. He was beginning to suspect that, at least with some of these organics, he might not even have to lie all that much. It was unexpected. He didn't yet know where the kitsune fell in that regard, though.