Application for Dr. Horrible from Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog
((How do we not have a Dr. Horrible yet? I've looked a dozen times, and I'm still convinced I'm just missing his name somehow.))
He was the youngest member of the illustrious Evil League of Evil. He was possibly the most feared supervillain in the world, next to Bad Horse, or course. (At least until the novelty wore off.) He was a great mad scientist. He was an evil genuis. He was...standing in a room he had never seen before and was reasonably sure was not part of the ELE Headquarters.
And there was some kind of application. Perhaps this was some newbie test they gave. Or a weird sort of hazing. Did the ELE go for hazing? That couldn't be; they were far too enlighted for such silly things.
Besides. The quill was floating. That was classy.
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
"My favorite cheese..." he began, trying to watch the floating quill as it wrote for him without looking like he cared. After all, he was a real supervillain now and that sort of thing really should have been beneath him. "Is swiss. I think. Yeah. Yes, evil swiss. Because...everyone know the Swiss...are evil. I mean, why else would they put holes in the cheese." He paused; it almost felt like he was keeping his blog again. "I mean, of course, I know why they put holes in..." He blinked/flinched that annoying, nervous facial tick he had. "Next question."
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
oh god Penny "Um, well, I don't usually approve of killing," he said as though nothing in the world was wrong, with only a facial tick or two to prove otherwise. "It's really just not my style. Although, I do...admit that there is the occasional moment when it's...it's important. Or...or necessary." He paused to refocus on the question. "But if I had to choose...I would say Carrottop. Because Barney...well, everyone hates Barney, but kids like him. No one like Carrottop."
3. What time is it where you are?
That question gave him pause, as he considered the various, nefarious reasons someone could want to know that. But since there was no one around to ask... "It was...around midnight last time I looked."
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
"Ahh..." He stared down at the page as though it was an especially stupid henchman. There was a mocking, sarcastic note to his voice when resumed talking. "Well, for starters, if I had just come back from the dead, I wouldn't waste time sexually harassing people. I would...found a religon. With myself as the savior. You know, risen from the dead. And people would follow me and send me all their money, and I would be bigger than Scientology." He paused to stare distantly into space, lost in thought. "That's not a bad idea, actually..."
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
He read all four parts of question five a few times before finally answering. "Okay, well, I have idea what these...What, Slytherin? I don't know what that is. Some kind of club maybe? And what kind of a name is Hufflepuff, anyway? Who wants to be there? Okay, fine, fine. Name of a bar...Dr. Horrible's...Bar. That's it. That's my name. Dr. Horrible's Bar."
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
"No."
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
"It's because you're not evil, like I am. See, I never do paperwork. Because I'm evil. Evil people...don't have paperwork. We laugh in the face of paperwork." He did his evil laugh. "See that? Evil laugh. Because I'm evil. And I just burn paperwork. And...and..." He trailed off, loosing a bit of steam as it suddenly occured to him, "and I'm monologuing to a piece of paper..."
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
"Fine. Hufflepuff is still a stupid name, but I'll answer this one with two words, okay? Two words: Freeze Ray."
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
"Uh, I guess I could be pursuaded to part with Germany. Or maybe France. You know, one of the smaller countries." A beat. "Or maybe Canada. I don't really like Canada."
"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. Dr. Horrible
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. Dr. Horrible
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. Dr. Horrible
One day, marmalade I will rule the world. Dr. Horrible"
He was the youngest member of the illustrious Evil League of Evil. He was possibly the most feared supervillain in the world, next to Bad Horse, or course. (At least until the novelty wore off.) He was a great mad scientist. He was an evil genuis. He was...standing in a room he had never seen before and was reasonably sure was not part of the ELE Headquarters.
And there was some kind of application. Perhaps this was some newbie test they gave. Or a weird sort of hazing. Did the ELE go for hazing? That couldn't be; they were far too enlighted for such silly things.
Besides. The quill was floating. That was classy.
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
"My favorite cheese..." he began, trying to watch the floating quill as it wrote for him without looking like he cared. After all, he was a real supervillain now and that sort of thing really should have been beneath him. "Is swiss. I think. Yeah. Yes, evil swiss. Because...everyone know the Swiss...are evil. I mean, why else would they put holes in the cheese." He paused; it almost felt like he was keeping his blog again. "I mean, of course, I know why they put holes in..." He blinked/flinched that annoying, nervous facial tick he had. "Next question."
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
oh god Penny "Um, well, I don't usually approve of killing," he said as though nothing in the world was wrong, with only a facial tick or two to prove otherwise. "It's really just not my style. Although, I do...admit that there is the occasional moment when it's...it's important. Or...or necessary." He paused to refocus on the question. "But if I had to choose...I would say Carrottop. Because Barney...well, everyone hates Barney, but kids like him. No one like Carrottop."
3. What time is it where you are?
That question gave him pause, as he considered the various, nefarious reasons someone could want to know that. But since there was no one around to ask... "It was...around midnight last time I looked."
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
"Ahh..." He stared down at the page as though it was an especially stupid henchman. There was a mocking, sarcastic note to his voice when resumed talking. "Well, for starters, if I had just come back from the dead, I wouldn't waste time sexually harassing people. I would...found a religon. With myself as the savior. You know, risen from the dead. And people would follow me and send me all their money, and I would be bigger than Scientology." He paused to stare distantly into space, lost in thought. "That's not a bad idea, actually..."
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
He read all four parts of question five a few times before finally answering. "Okay, well, I have idea what these...What, Slytherin? I don't know what that is. Some kind of club maybe? And what kind of a name is Hufflepuff, anyway? Who wants to be there? Okay, fine, fine. Name of a bar...Dr. Horrible's...Bar. That's it. That's my name. Dr. Horrible's Bar."
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
"No."
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
"It's because you're not evil, like I am. See, I never do paperwork. Because I'm evil. Evil people...don't have paperwork. We laugh in the face of paperwork." He did his evil laugh. "See that? Evil laugh. Because I'm evil. And I just burn paperwork. And...and..." He trailed off, loosing a bit of steam as it suddenly occured to him, "and I'm monologuing to a piece of paper..."
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
"Fine. Hufflepuff is still a stupid name, but I'll answer this one with two words, okay? Two words: Freeze Ray."
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
"Uh, I guess I could be pursuaded to part with Germany. Or maybe France. You know, one of the smaller countries." A beat. "Or maybe Canada. I don't really like Canada."
"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. Dr. Horrible
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. Dr. Horrible
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. Dr. Horrible
One day, marmalade I will rule the world. Dr. Horrible"