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arrogantmage December 27 2008, 17:24:57 UTC
((ok, this is the last edit, i promise)

Oh, but it is. Specifically, dogs that would grow up to be exact clones of Soi's current dog.

Matsuda had explained at his Sorting to an anxious Lezard that Soichiro liked dogs but already had one. Therefore Lezard could not give him a dog. He could, however, give him the gift of backup dogs.

A gift that kept on giving.

(Note that Matsuda did not suggest that gift. The extent of his contribution had been to say that Soichiro liked dogs and owned one. The rest was alllll Lezard.)

Also if Soichiro equipped one of the seeds as an accessory, it would give him 10% resistance to elemental magic attacks, but that was sort of a videogame nonsense thing that might only make sense to someone from Midgard.

Lezard watched Soichiro curiously from the sidelines as the man opened the gift. He wanted to see the reaction it would get.

Puzzlement was not the reaction he expected. Jumping for joy, maybe, would be more along the lines of what he had hoped. What dog fancier wouldn't want spare dogs?

Poor Lezard, always unappreciated.

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papayagami December 27 2008, 17:30:48 UTC
Soichiro shoved them back into the box. That...was horrifying. Growing dogs? That was immoral.

He breathed a sigh of relief though, when the other thing just turned out to be a calendar.

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arrogantmage December 27 2008, 17:43:37 UTC
Lezard had to approach the target -- recipient, that is! recipient! -- at this.

"All due felicitations pertaining to the season," he wished his target -- recipient! -- with a bow. "I am told you enjoy canine companionship. In an innocent and conventional way, purely," he added, since this was Hogwarts and you never did know what people might decide was meant offensively. While Lezard enjoyed insulting people as much as the next guy if not more, he preferred his insults to be intentional.

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papayagami December 27 2008, 17:48:27 UTC
"Ah. Yes. I do like dogs. Have one of my own."

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arrogantmage December 27 2008, 17:54:25 UTC
"So I am told," Lezard agreed politely. "It's a pleasure to meet you in person, Mr. Yagami." Actually he'd seen Soichiro before, on the occasion he decided to make this gentleman and a nearby lady into guinea pigs for a Weasley Wizard Wheezes product. He simply hadn't known the fellow's name at the time. He hadn't known until he saw Yagami approach the present he knew was for the person of that name. "I am Lezard Valeth. I know your dog only by its genetic material, I'm afraid, but I'm sure she's lovely. As will be all her clone dogs you can grow when you have need of them."

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papayagami December 27 2008, 22:52:38 UTC
Oh, god they are.

Soichiro turned a little bit green. "Grow?" He said in a quiet voice.

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arrogantmage December 28 2008, 04:50:26 UTC
Lezard made an impatient and formless gesture with a gloved hand. "Grow, yes. That process by which one plants a seed in soil or a nutrient-enriched medium, in order to activate its consequent development. When the dog has reached viability, its pod will split and the young dog will emerge. The stem will fall off at the point where a tail would have been. Of course, all these are genetically identical to your current dog, so a male dog is not possible and you cannot crossbreed the dogs. I hope you will be amply contented by a succession of bitches."

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dinosaurman December 28 2008, 05:01:23 UTC
Alan Grant was not attending the party, but some force of mun nature had him there just in time to hear that statement. "I've heard that before," he muttered.

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arrogantmage December 28 2008, 05:34:00 UTC
Lezard's keen (one might say supernaturally keen) hearing picked up the muttered remark easily, and he turned to inquire: "Concerning the cloning, or concerning the bitches?"

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dinosaurman December 28 2008, 06:10:40 UTC
"Concerning the bitches," Grant said. The idea of dinosaurs growing in pods was just scary. "The idea was to clone female dinosaurs, but over a fairly short period of time, some of the animals changed gender from female to male. You see it in fishes and amphibians. It happens when the gender ratio's off balance in the population."

Which was probably more detail that Lezard wanted.

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arrogantmage December 28 2008, 06:13:41 UTC
Lezard found all the detail fascinating!

"Restricted to fish and reptiles, then? Ah, well, these seeds are only intended to grow a common mammal."

Why, yes, it seemed he considered the genderswitching property of the dinosaurs a feature, not a bug; a bug turned feature, perhaps.

"I suppose a dog-dinosaur hybrid wouldn't have served my present purpose, since Mr. Yagami's present dog is not part-dinosaur. That is not to say such a thing is impossible."

This musing was probably not what Grant wanted to hear. Lezard, however, was oblivious. Ah, mad scientists.

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dinosaurman December 28 2008, 06:21:33 UTC
Grant had met Lezard once before, when the whole mangosteen grove issue broke out. For the record, he still didn't understand why that was considered detention-worthy. It did mean that he didn't ask the first question that came to mind, which was, "Where would you get the dinosaur?"

"The cloned dinosaurs didn't grow from seeds, either," he said. "But to quote somebody who was there, 'Life finds a way.' The other stuff he said was mostly bullshit, but that was good advice."

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arrogantmage December 28 2008, 07:22:10 UTC
"A race of fluid-gendered dogs with reptilian traits might prove interesting, if potentially fatal to those outside the campus grounds," Lezard mused. "Mr. Yagami, would you have preferred such a dog? I could perhaps cook up a little something ..."

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papayagami December 28 2008, 15:42:48 UTC
"No!" He shouted. "Oh god! You can't just grow dogs, that's....that's immoral!"

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arrogantmage December 29 2008, 02:14:45 UTC
Lezard stared at Yagami. Then he began to laugh.

"Oh, that is priceless, Mr. Yagami. Allow me to compliment you on your drollery!"

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papayagami December 29 2008, 03:25:47 UTC
Whatever, Soichiro's feeling sick to his stomach.

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