Attention world: I am suffering writer's block and this application isn't very wordy, etc. etc. etc.
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
Munster cheese. I just do.
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
Carrottop. Definitely.
3. What time is it where you are?
I don't own a clock. It's dark out.
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
Gross.
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark.
'Who Am I and how did I get here?'
I thought it was funny.
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
Fred and George should end up together?
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
Because you bite on to more work than you can chew?
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
I can't.
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
I have nothing to offer except for a few dust bunnies an empty bottle of stoli? I have my guitar too but you sure ain't getting that.