Closed RP - Nefarious plotting - Jaime, Olympia

[hopalongmcgurk]

((Takes place directly after thisIt's actually been a good day. Nothing hurts, particularly, the way it always does in cold weather. I am slowly gathering potion ingredients, and the only thing I need is for someone with clearer eyesight than I have to double check that I've copied everything from the ancient magical tome correctly. Also, I need to

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[lion_in_white]

Jaime turned and gave Oly the once-over. "Well, aren't you a sight for sore eyes. Admit it, you've no wish for my sorry company. You'll just be wanting a ride on my shoulders down to the tavern, to save you the walk."

[hopalongmcgurk]

I grin. "You know me so well. I was hoping you'd offer. My knees are killing me." I stick out my tongue at him for emphasis. "But, seriously, I do want to ask you something, if you can possibly be torn away from contemplating your navel."

[lion_in_white]

Jaime considered this. "Why not? The longer I stand here, the more naked women will make me offers I have to refuse. Lead on, future Lady Lannister."

He was still going to insist she was Tyrion's soulmate, all evidence to the contrary, just as a running joke. And he sure as hell wasn't going to be Lord Lannister himself. He'd turned it down when his father asked him. The fact Tyrion would never be allowed to take the lordship -- especially now that he was a wanted fugitive under a death sentence -- was just more grist to Jaime's mill of bitter humor.

[hopalongmcgurk]

"...What?" I can't help it, I lean against the wall, having acquired a serious case of the giggles. "You can't be serious. A naked woman is actually here and propositioned you and you turned her down? Please tell me you aren't gay. Because I never would have pegged you for gay in a million years."

Now that I'm recovered, I turn and stride off down the hall, hoping he'll follow now that I've just insulted his manhood. I decide for the moment to ignore those cracks about his brother.

[lion_in_white]

"Gay?" That particular colloquialism escaped the displaced Westerosi nobleman. Taking the bait, he followed Oly. "Yes, a naked woman is actually here. She's a nymph, she says. And yes, I turned her down. Why is that so difficult to believe?"

[hopalongmcgurk]

"Because all men are pigs," I say without rancor. "And most of the straight ones wouldn't turn down getting the chance to act in their own personal porn fantasy." Hell, even Arty got laid regularly, after all.

[lion_in_white]

"She just didn't hate me enough. I can't perform without the requisite amount of hate." The way Jaime said it, one might believe he was making it up. "She's a very nice girl. I might recommend her to my brother, if you're not already tiring him out."

Jaime didn't realize Tyrion had very likely already tapped that.

[hopalongmcgurk]

I almost believe he's joking, at first, but once more I think about my relationship with Arty and I windce. No, that's... not an unreasonably fucked up kink, if you're me.

"I'm sorry," I say lightly, not really wanting to dwell on this point of commonality between Jaime and myself, because it would mean learning things he might not want to share and in turn sharing things I don't want to think about. "I'm just not that kind of girl... at least, not on the first date. Plus, kissing him without a nose would be... a little too weird, even for me."

[lion_in_white]

"Make him wear his prosthetic nose for you. It's the least he can do." Jaime continued along and down a few flights of stairs, keeping a slow pace so that Oly could stay with him. She was supposed to be the one leading the way, though Jaime knew quite well where the Little Green Apple was. "You're a picky girl, aren't you? Wanting a man with a nose."

[hopalongmcgurk]

"Well, there's that and the fact that I don't think I'm his usual type," I answer. "I think he likes his women with hair, which is equally as picky as my liking my men with noses, if you think about it." I appreciate that he's slowing for me, and I probably should ask for that piggyback ride, except I do kind of like my dignity, and I figure alcohol will dull the pain in my knees eventually.

[lion_in_white]

Jaime was about to joke Tyrion likes the sort of woman he has to buy, then decided that in light of the history with Tysha, that kind of joke was best left undelivered. The answer he gave was therefore more serious than his usual banter with Oly. "I thought you two might have much in common. It can't be easy for you, and gods know it's not been easy for him."

[hopalongmcgurk]

I honestly don't know what to say to any of that, and so I remain silent for what is probably too long. Then I shrug. "Life's not about being easy," I say. "And we can't help who we are. No, I can't say mine's exactly been a walk in the park, and I do regret some of it, but in the end, we all do what we have to and hope it's for the right reasons."

I finally push open the door to the Little Green Apple and sink onto a chair. Maybe drinking isn't the greatest idea in the world at the moment, because now I'm thinking about Miranda again. Was what I did for her the right thing? Could I have kept her from doing something self-destructive? Was killing Mary Lick the answer? Hell if I know, and I try to tell myself it doesn't actually matter. They're not here, and what's done is done.

[lion_in_white]

Jaime had actually meant something more straightforward, to the tune of you're both dwarves, so you could commiserate over how much it sucks to be a dwarf. Prudently he kept his mouth shut when Olympia chose to take the words for a more introspective turn. Instead he played barman. "What will you have? Spirits abound."

[hopalongmcgurk]

"I guess it'd be kind of rude to ask you to mix me a gin and tonic," I mutter. "Hmm. Probably shouldn't anyway. Just bring out a beer that looks somewhat palatable."

It actually never would have occurred to me to take Jaime's words straight. I'm not a norm. I was one of Al and Lil's bred freaks. That part of who I am, though something even I mock myself about, is something about which I don't feel any shame.