Application: Vesper Lynd, Casino Royale (2006)
A wet, bedraggled body lay in a pool of salt water, a blood-red dress clinging to its curves. Presently the water seeped into the stone floor of the Sorting Room as if drawn in by suction, and a newly dry Vesper Lynd sat up with a series of convulsive, gasping coughs.
Once those subsided, she smoothed the skirt of her dress, once again its original cherry red. She had bought the dress early in their rambles, flush with the new romance, when she let herself believe she could forget. She'd put it on that morning hoping to recapture a bit of that feeling before walking out to betray England, and both her lovers.
She never wanted to wear it again.
She looked around at the venerable stone walls. "This can't be Venice. Too dry. And anyway, James killed the building."
A sudden draft blew a piece of parchment into her lap. She read it and laughed in surprise. "Well. Hell has an entrance exam. Should've known it would resemble Uni."
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
"Testouri cheese, from North Africa. A...friend...introduced me to it. It's...salty." She licked her lips. "I - I don't think I'll be liking the taste of salt as much as I once did any longer, though. Perhaps something in an herbed cream cheese? I'll have to shop around for a new favorite."
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
Vesper shuddered and rubbed her hands together against a sudden chill. "I don't get to make those kinds of decisions. Unfortunately. I'd kill whichever I had to, if it meant saving a life."
3. What time is it where you are?
She let out a single sharp laugh. "Time to pay the ferryman, I rather think. And me without a drachma. Honestly, I've no idea. It was morning in Venice, last I knew. Is time even an applicable concept in Hell?" She laughed again. "Of course. James would probably find timeclocks and deadlines and productivity are the very essence of Hell, come to think of it."
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
Her eyes narrowed and her lips compressed into a thin line. "Let's see. Sexual harassment. A form of psychological abuse, bullying and coercion. Now, what on earth would I know about that?"
She blew air out of her cheeks. "Take the word of a woman working in a man's business, there's two kinds of bosses in the world: those who harass and those who couldn't even conceive of it. If this Albus wozzername's the former then he'll harass anyone he bloody well pleases; anyone he's got power over. If he's not, well then, the point's moot. I've never been the boss, but I like to think I'm not the sort who'd harass."
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark. She waved the question away. "Pounds Sterling. Next?"
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
Vesper stiffened. "I would tell this Harry, don't marry either of them. Don't love either of them. Keep up your armor. There are evil, evil men in this world and you'll never be able to protect the ones you love -" She broke off and shook her head. "And as for mythology, didn't Euripides say 'Whom the gods would destroy, they first make mad?' What could be more like madness than love? Look at Oedipus and his clan. Love and ethics conspired to twist them up beyond all recognition. No, better not to love at all."
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
"Don't look at me; I'm an accountant. Papers are my bread and butter. Perhaps you've become important enough at your job that your approval's necessary for anything to get done. Or you're good enough at your job that you've become everyone's go-to person."
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
She snorted. "Oh, if only. I held a position of some responsibility at HM Treasury. The Treasury and MI6 both seemed to find that quite a useful quality in me. So did...other people, unfortunately. I'm a chartered accountant, and I'm told I've no 'tells' to give me away at a bluff in a negotiating situation. For whatever it's worth to you, I'm also told I'm beautiful. Certainly I know how to dress, at least."
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
"Well, the Halliburton case went into the canal, and I left my necklace and my mobile at the hotel." She shrugged. "I could do your books if you like? Ah! I know an excellent cocktail recipe, if you'd like one."
"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. ___VL____
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. _____VL______.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. _____VL______.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. __Oh_please._The_ego!__
((This app was done with the permission - and assistance! - of James Bond-mun.))
Once those subsided, she smoothed the skirt of her dress, once again its original cherry red. She had bought the dress early in their rambles, flush with the new romance, when she let herself believe she could forget. She'd put it on that morning hoping to recapture a bit of that feeling before walking out to betray England, and both her lovers.
She never wanted to wear it again.
She looked around at the venerable stone walls. "This can't be Venice. Too dry. And anyway, James killed the building."
A sudden draft blew a piece of parchment into her lap. She read it and laughed in surprise. "Well. Hell has an entrance exam. Should've known it would resemble Uni."
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
"Testouri cheese, from North Africa. A...friend...introduced me to it. It's...salty." She licked her lips. "I - I don't think I'll be liking the taste of salt as much as I once did any longer, though. Perhaps something in an herbed cream cheese? I'll have to shop around for a new favorite."
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
Vesper shuddered and rubbed her hands together against a sudden chill. "I don't get to make those kinds of decisions. Unfortunately. I'd kill whichever I had to, if it meant saving a life."
3. What time is it where you are?
She let out a single sharp laugh. "Time to pay the ferryman, I rather think. And me without a drachma. Honestly, I've no idea. It was morning in Venice, last I knew. Is time even an applicable concept in Hell?" She laughed again. "Of course. James would probably find timeclocks and deadlines and productivity are the very essence of Hell, come to think of it."
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
Her eyes narrowed and her lips compressed into a thin line. "Let's see. Sexual harassment. A form of psychological abuse, bullying and coercion. Now, what on earth would I know about that?"
She blew air out of her cheeks. "Take the word of a woman working in a man's business, there's two kinds of bosses in the world: those who harass and those who couldn't even conceive of it. If this Albus wozzername's the former then he'll harass anyone he bloody well pleases; anyone he's got power over. If he's not, well then, the point's moot. I've never been the boss, but I like to think I'm not the sort who'd harass."
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark. She waved the question away. "Pounds Sterling. Next?"
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument.
Vesper stiffened. "I would tell this Harry, don't marry either of them. Don't love either of them. Keep up your armor. There are evil, evil men in this world and you'll never be able to protect the ones you love -" She broke off and shook her head. "And as for mythology, didn't Euripides say 'Whom the gods would destroy, they first make mad?' What could be more like madness than love? Look at Oedipus and his clan. Love and ethics conspired to twist them up beyond all recognition. No, better not to love at all."
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
"Don't look at me; I'm an accountant. Papers are my bread and butter. Perhaps you've become important enough at your job that your approval's necessary for anything to get done. Or you're good enough at your job that you've become everyone's go-to person."
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
She snorted. "Oh, if only. I held a position of some responsibility at HM Treasury. The Treasury and MI6 both seemed to find that quite a useful quality in me. So did...other people, unfortunately. I'm a chartered accountant, and I'm told I've no 'tells' to give me away at a bluff in a negotiating situation. For whatever it's worth to you, I'm also told I'm beautiful. Certainly I know how to dress, at least."
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
"Well, the Halliburton case went into the canal, and I left my necklace and my mobile at the hotel." She shrugged. "I could do your books if you like? Ah! I know an excellent cocktail recipe, if you'd like one."
"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. ___VL____
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. _____VL______.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. _____VL______.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. __Oh_please._The_ego!__
((This app was done with the permission - and assistance! - of James Bond-mun.))