Open RP: if I keep walking long enough, will I go in a circle?

[those_damn_bats]

I've surrendered one of my shoes to that hat for breeding purposes. A thin sock is now all that protects my delicate left foot from the harsh reality of castle floors and underpaid, invisible cleaning staff

Comments

[bad_date_nate]

Hey, it was That Guy! Who was, yeah, kinda crazy. But entertaining, at least. "Hi, how's..." Duke seemed the kinda guy you said 'How's tricks?' to. Maybe that would be a bad idea, though, since Nate had no idea what that actually meant. "...it going?"

[those_damn_bats]

"Slowly." My progress is hampered by my lopsidedness, and the fact that the floor is melting.

[bad_date_nate]

Nate looked downwards and asked with curiosity, "What happened to your shoe?" Nate wondered if he had to take on a gang of slipper-wranglers who were hassling Duke. That was Nate, Mister Fix-It for your W T F. Well, he liked to try, at least. He tried to try.

...

...he called Chuck and/or Blair.

[those_damn_bats]

"The hat needed it."

I'm sick of explaining this.

"I'm in Ravenclaw."

[bad_date_nate]

"You're lucky it was just a shoe. You don't want to know what it wanted from me." Nate then looked a bit nervous. "That Hat's an 'it,' right?" Because he couldn't believe it was a girl, and so if Nate had to kiss a male hat... that would be a bit weird.

"Ravenclaw's cool." Nate smiled. "Maybe that means that you do wanna know."

[those_damn_bats]

"Well, it's trying to impregnate my shoe."

So.

[bad_date_nate]

Nate blinked in shock. "I'm... I'm pretty sure I lucked out, then."

"So, would that make you a granddad, or...?"

[those_damn_bats]

"Nonsense. I support the relationship not working out. She's disowned, and her sprog are her own."

[bad_date_nate]

So it was a girl shoe. Nate never really thought about it. He looked down at his own expensive footwear and then back up at Duke. He guessed it made sense, if you called Doctor Freud.

"Yeah. Have a Hat as an in-law would be tough."

[those_damn_bats]

I shrugs.

"You wouldn't need to worry about him coming by unexpectedly, what with the lack of legs."

[bad_date_nate]

"So you think it's a 'he'?" Great. His first blatantly homoerotic experience (in Nate's own mind. The reality is more likely that his entire life was a blatantly homoerotic experience) and it's with a Hat. Not even a very attractive Hat. This led Nate to wonder which Hat would be the best to experiment with sexually. A football helmet was butch, but a tophat, Nate figured, was more likely to swing in Nate's direction.

Not that Nate would swing back, but this was a hypothetical. Nothing latently homosexual here...

"Yeah. The Hat can make people a little nervous."

[those_damn_bats]

"I usually have a fairly solid grasp of what's happening, and what I'm just seeing. Ether, for example, makes everything fake. My problem is that suddenly reality is a good deal closer to drug induced situations than I would like."

The creature walking down the hall towards us, for example. It might be one of those 'house elves,' or it might not be.

[bad_date_nate]

Nate was also made uncomfortable by house elves, as he felt they were like failed copies of the spiritual master, Yoda. He was almost offended for Yoda's sake. Plus, he thought they might be slaves, a little.

"Sometimes you don't need drugs to make everything fake," Nate replied, eyes going slightly bitter. He smile stayed, though.

Phonies! They're all PHONIES!

[those_damn_bats]

I stay still as it walks by, hoping it doesn't notice me. The plan seems to work.

"Bullshit. Don't take drugs to make your problems go away, or you're just a house wife with sleeping pills. The promise turns out to be a lie and you're left with a generation of washed up burnt out bright eyed thiry year olds with long hair and no recollection of whether or not they went to Woodstock."