Jemma Claflin, The Children's Hospital by Chris Adrian
1. What is your favorite cheese? Why is it your favorite?
I actually don't have cheese anymore. It was one of the only things I ate during pregnancy so it's sort of tainted for me.
2. Who would you kill first, Barney or Carrottop?
Barney. Absolutely Barney. I heard that damn dinosaur sing his endless, over joyous tunes for months. MONTHS on end. Kill Barney. Please kill Barney.
3. What time is it where you are?
Day. That's all I know now. It's day. Time sort of feels funny now.
4. If you were Albus Dumbledore returned from the dead, which member of the Order of the Phoenix would you sexually harass? How would you harass them? If you are Albus Dumbledore, please answer as if you were Sirius Black.
Oh my god I love Dumbledore. I wish I was a member of the Order of the Phoenix...
5. If you are pushing to be in:
A. Slytherin - please state the clever, witty name of the bar in which you bartend, in the dark. My friend Vivian worked at a bar called Tequila Mockingbird's. I've always thought that was clever.
B. Gryffindor - Debate whether Harry should ultimately end up married to Fred or George. Use examples from a variety of world mythologies to bolster your argument. Um. I'd say go with George, it was the name of one of The Beatles and to me that's always a safe bet. But Fred means 'constant peace' in German which I really, really love. And if you're getting married I'd say you'd want constant peace. I changed my mind. He should marry Fred.
C. Ravenclaw - You guys are supposed to be smart. Explain why my desk is inundated with paperwork at all times, even though I’m constantly disposing of it.
I'm a third-year med student existing in a hospital floating on miles of water with healing powers in the form of green fire. I'm allowed to have paperwork on my desk.
D. Hufflepuff - Prove you are not useless.
See the answer to Ravenclaw.
6. Offer a bribe to the members of this community so that they will not squib you. Items used in bribery do not necessarily have to belong to the person offering the bribe. Do not threaten us rather than offering a bribe. A threat indicates you either don't really want to be here, or don't have enough sense to answer the question properly. The hat will automatically squib you, regardless of other votes, if you do.
Remember that healing power I told you about? It's really cool complete with green flames and good feelings. If it still works I'll use it for you if you ever need it?
"I have read the hogwarts_hocus faq, and understand it is a crazy, cracktastic sorting community and RPG. ____JC________
I have read the hogwarts_hocus rules and agree to abide by each and every one of them. _____JC______.
I agree to be a good sport and not get my knickers in a bunch. ____JC_______.
One day, marmalade will rule the world. ______JC_______"